Crossing Paths
by TeamNiche
Summary: Paris has become a dangerous place with the appearance of the Supervillian Hawkmoth. Fortunately, a Superhero duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir, fight for the city's survival. Even superheros can get hurt, although, in the body, in the mind, and in the heart. How will fates align? How will the paths cross? ALSO BLOOD/GORE WARNING i swear there were section breaks but decided no
1. Chapter 1: Mewror (get it mirror)

God holy shit. Ladybug took a knee and cradled her left arm. She could feel the bits of her bone resting out of place, but looking at it would make the pain hit worse. Through her shut eyes and grimace, she choked out, "Chat..."

"Yes, my lad- oh." His romantic look morphed into one of worry and fear. "Oh shit."

"How… How bad is my arm?" she uncovered it and turned to give Chat Noir a better look.

"Uh, you don't normally have bone outside your arm, right?" She shot him a glare, half of shock, half of anger. "Right right, uh, be thankful that your Kwami takes a bit of the pain." Tikki would surely mention this later, but Tikki had thousands of years to get used to pain. Marinette only had 17. Marinette shakily got to her feet.

"Can you distract them for a bit, Chat?" The alleyway filled with a few more copies of their opponent. Just ten minutes ago there was only two, a vast difference to the 20 now surrounding the heroes.

"My usual job, then?" Chat smirked.

"So, do you want to give us the miraculous stones now, or add your lives in with them later?" One of the copies droned out. Chat glanced around as the voice echoed. Surely he only had to defeat the real one. Just, where was he? "We would love it either way, honestly," another clone chimed. Chat looked at the talking clone.

"And I love any way that isn't yours." Chat swung his baton into the neck of the smirker, only to hit dark smoke that disintegrated away. A clone to his left swung at him, then another to his right, and a third from in front. Their attacks caught up to Chat's reaction time, and he landed with a thud next to Ladybug.

"Hey, Ladybug."

"What is it Chat?"

"No no, I was just thinking. It's a good thing he isn't making clones of me, or else he'd be a Copy Chat." Ladybug looked at him with disapproval. "I thought it was pretty good." Chat shrugged.

"It's not really the time for jokes. Get us out of here, Chat, we need to think."

"As you wish, My Lady." He grasped her waist, and used his baton to launch them towards the roof. "Au Revoir, mon ami!"

The two landed where only minutes before they had been taking in the crisp nighttime Parisian skyline. Now they were on the run from Le Reflet who was using his clones to scale the building wall. They leapt to the neighboring building and landed with a thud. The shock from the landing jarred Ladybug's arm.

"Ah!" Ladybug cried out. She squeezed her eyes shut to try to block out the throbbing in her arm.

Chat rushed to her side, "My Lady," his words drenched in worry and pain.

"I think we're going to have to stand our ground." Ladybug stated as she threw her yo-yo up so her Kwami could conjure up a lucky charm. A moment later a piece of red and black polka-dotted rope landed in her hands. The two looked at it incredulously wondering what its purpose was for.

"Incoming!," Chat shouted a moment too late as Le Reflet and his clones landed on the roof and began charging at Ladybug. Unable to react soon enough, she was caught by the throat and slammed against the floor.

"Ladybug!" Chat shouted. He tried to make his way toward her but was immediately swarmed and separated from his partner.

Le Reflet leaned in, his breath hot on the side of Ladybug's face. "You know, sweetheart, you're rather easy on the eyes."

"Too bad my saliva isn't." she spat in his face.

Enraged, he tightened his grip. She winced, That's going to leave a bruise in the morning, she thought to herself. Le Reflet reached for her earrings.

"Let go of her!" Chat bellowed as he knocked the villain back. He had fought his way out of the mob but there were still several copies that remained. All of which were thirsty for the chance to get even.

"They don't look too happy," Ladybug whispered to her partner, as the clones formed a ring around them.

"You're right about that. Do you have a plan or am I going to have to keep beating them up?"

"More like keep getting beat up. Give me a moment," Ladybug scanned their surroundings and spotted an abandoned building on the verge of collapse.

"Over there," she pointed. "We'll lure them all into that building. Can you take it down?"

"Of course. You run, I'll clear a path?"

"Good deal." Ladybug broke into a sprint towards the building as Chat leaped into the blocking group. Wisps of smoke spread as the duo ran. Chat stayed behind at first, keeping following clones back, but had to pick up his pace when they got cut off. They were halfway there, leaping across avenues and sprinting over Parisian roofs. Ladybug slowed down as her arm began to hurt, looking up to Chat with exasperation in her eyes.

"Chat!" Chat turned around, threw her over his shoulder, and sprinted towards their objective.

"Oh my GOD! What do you eat, My Lady?" Ladybug smacked his back with her good arm.

"I am a superhero! I have to be heavy. Don't be a prick."

"I'm glad I have such a capable partner then." Chat leaped across a boulevard, but clipped his foot on the landing. They hit the roof with a crash, Ladybug screaming and Chat groaning. "Sorry… That was my fault... Come on, only a few more buildings to go." Chat helped her to her feet, anxiously noticing the pack of clones following their path at an alarming rate. They began to run again, Chat holding Ladybug's good hand. He looked back, as the clones would soon be on them. The building was across just one more street, but they weren't going to make it at this rate. Chat grimaced.

"I'm sorry."

"For wh-" Chat picked Ladybug up and hurled her towards a window in the abandoned building. She saw him reach for his baton as he passed out of sight.

Ladybug skidded across the ground, luckily on her good arm and back, before stopping right before a hole.

"God damn it, Chat." She picked herself up, and looked around the building. It seemed closed down, probably for a number of months. It would work perfectly. A hole ran from the roof of the building to the ground floor, just as she thought. Chat would be invaluable. Just as her thoughts switched to her companion, he flew through the same window she did before. He rolled to a stop right before her feet.

"So that's what that feels like." Chat opened his eyes, rubbing his face and smearing his blood. "Did you have a nice flight, My Lady?"

"Landing was a bit rough, as the pilot was such a dumbass. How about this building though?"

"You wound me. And what about it?"

"Do you think you can work your magic?" Chat took in his surroundings. He stood up and looked at the hole in the structure.

"You aren't planning what I think you're planning, right?"

"My derriere has been handed to me royally on a silver platter. This is a quick and easy way to even the odds a little bit."

"Then I hope you know how to tie a lasso. Set the trap, I'll get ready."

"We probably have 45 seconds. Do everything fast."

"As if there was any other way." Chat sped off, vanishing into a shadow.

Moments later, the clones came filing into the ground floor of the building.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" They taunted in unison. The group wandered through the building, searching for the heroes. Chat, watching from a shadow, waited until there were only a few on the ground floor. One clone directed a couple others away from the area. Chat took his opportunity and dashed to a selection of supports. He had been whittling down the pillars holding the building up while Le Reflet had been searching for him. Chat dropped down to the first floor, and kicked out one last pillar. The building shifted, groaned, then collapsed around the hole in the center. Dark smoke billowed out of the wreckage as the fight became noticeably more balanced. Chat sauntered towards the remaining copies with a sly grin on his face.

"Looks like your plans have been wrecked!" All the copies turned to face Chat.

"Just like the rest of your life is going to be." A clone started towards Chat, but was suddenly wrapped up in a red and black rope. Ladybug tied the rope around a remaining pillar, and pulled, tightening the grip on the copies. One by one, they dissipated into smoke. Chat took his baton out again, and walked to the final copy.

"So then, you're the real one!" Chat put his hand on Le Reflet's shoulder. "How about you give up easily, then?" He patted the shoulder, but Le Reflet disappeared into smoke. Chat, shocked, looked around the rubble, baton in hand. Ladybug ran down to join him.

"How did we miss one?"

"We couldn't have. He's here somewhere, and he has to be the last one."

"Then I guess we only have one more ass to kick."

A faint cough was heard behind them, and they spun around to confront Le Reflet, covered in a pile of rubble, loosely grasping his mirror. Chat rushed to his side, handing the mirror to Ladybug.

"Is he alright?" Chat heaved a bit of wood off the snoozing villain.

"Knocked out. He might have a few bruises, but nothing too serious. Smash that thing so we can get out of here. I'm feeling light-headed already."

With the mirror in hand she threw it down and crushed the glass beneath her feet. Out of the cracks emerged the black butterfly.

"There you are," Ladybug stated. She glided her hand over the surface of the yo-yo which unlocked the blinding white light beneath.

"In you go," she swung her yo-yo and captured the akuma. "Purifying light!"

A bright light emerged from the toy and the akuma floated off.

"Here comes the pain." Chat handed Ladybug a bit of his belt and his hand. "The hand is to hold, and the belt is to bite. That arm is going to hurt." Ladybug reluctantly took his hand, but pushed away the belt.

"Thanks Chat, but who knows where that has been." Ladybug gasped as her arm began to shift. She eyed the belt again,"That might have been a bad idea."

"It always works for me, but I guess you aren't that kind of gal." Chat wrapped her head in his arm and held her close. "Be as loud and squeeze as hard as you need to." Ladybug complied, Chat wincing as she crushed his hand and groaned. Hopefully it heals my hand too… Chat looked over at her arm, but couldn't stomach the healing process for long. He had seen plenty of it going the other way, but bone going back in made him shudder. Ladybug screamed into Chat's chest, digging her fingernails into the back of his hand. Then, as soon as it had begun, Ladybug relaxed. She leaned back against the wall, and looked at her arm. The costume had sealed up, covering any marks the wound had left. She looked back at Chat and loosened her grip on his hand.

"Hold on, Ladybug. I cracked a few ribs, I'll need this hand."

"Oh good. Now I get to hear a cat meow." Chat flashed a grimace at her right before he doubled over.

XXXXXXXXXXX (seriously why can i not use dashes here)

As the healing effects wore away, leaving only a few cuts and bruises untreated, the duos listened to beeps from their jewelry.

"We should probably go our separate ways, then."

"Actually, I'll meet back on the rooftop after you feed your Kwami," Chat responded. "The night isn't over yet, princess"

"Yeah sure."

Ladybug dashed off to a nearby alley as Tikki shot out of her earrings and into her hand, She was wearing her normal attire comprised of pink jeans, a white shirt adorned with sakura blossoms, and a black blazer.

"You had to get your arm broken didn't you?" Tikki asked rather annoyed.

"I'm so sorry Tikki I-"

"No, don't apologize Marinette. I'm fine. I've been through a lot worse. Are you ok?" Tikki inquired.

"I'm fine, thanks. Now let's get you some cookies to recharge, we've still got whatever Chat Noir has planned ahead of us."

Marinette walked to the nearest convenience store and purchased a bag of cookies and stuffed it in her purse. She waited until Tikki finished the cookies before disposing of the bag and transforming again.

She made her way up to the rooftop where the duo had been before they noticed Le Reflet. Once again she gazed at the night time view the city of lights had to offer. From here she could see the Eiffel Tower in all its glory.

"Black is a beautiful color, no? It blends so well with the lights. Such gorgeous contrast." Chat walked forward to join her at the railing.

"It is," Ladybug mused.

"It makes for such a romantic view."

"If only I were here with-" Ladybug began but stopped abruptly as she realized it would be inappropriate to speak of her crush on Adrien to her partner. Chat chuckled.

"So I have competition, then?" Chat turned away from the view and instead looked at Ladybug.

Ladybug sighed. "I… He doesn't notice me. Nearly 3 years of sharing all the same classes and I still haven't been able to look him in the eye much less have a conversation with him."

"So it will be an easy race then?" Chat grinned.

Ladybug shot him a dirty look.

"I kid. Why is he so… Unobtainable?"

"If you saw him you'd understand. He's gorgeous, brilliant, kind, noble. He's perfect; and me? Well..." Ladybug trailed off.

"You are Ladybug! I can be sure that your friends don't call you that, but it is still who you are in your heart. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. You are incredible. He probably doesn't even come close to your league."

Ladybug smiled gratefully "Thank you Chat. You're really sweet when you try. I'm glad I have a friend like you."

"I can't be all rouge and dashing all the time. A little bit of a soft cat has to come up some of my days. Anyway, do you know the time?"

Ladybug checked her yo-yo, "Five past one," she stated. "I need to head on back home if I want a decent amount of sleep before school tomorrow."

"Yup. I have to get up in about five hours. Good luck with that crush. Maybe he'll fall for sleepy you. Au Revoir."

"I doubt it. Merci, my cat, Adieu"

XXXXXXXXXXX (i'm so mildly annoyed by having to do this)

"How did you get that mark?" Alya gestured toward the bruises on Marinette's neck. Nino turned to look and laughed.

"You mean you don't know what those are?" Nino, who sat in front of the pair of friends, had been playing a game when he overheard Alya's concern and turned around to see what it was about.

"That, Alya, is a hickey. Your girl got game." Nino stated nonchalantly.

Alya's jaw dropped as she stared at Marinette in disbelief.

Marinette was also caught off guard by Nino's conclusion"I-It's not what you think. I can explain!"

"Oh no need to be so defensive Marinette. Who is it? Was it Nathanael?"

Marinette shook her head.

Alya gasped, "Did you finally?!" she reached out and placed her hand on her friend's shoulder in excitement.

"No. I wish," Marinette stated flatly. "I was cleaning my room and a book fell and hit me. That's why the bruise is there,"

Nino nodded along in mock belief, "Of course that's what happened." He turned his attention back to his game.

"Do you want me to try to cover that up?" Alya offered

"Yes, please."

"I don't think I have foundation for your skin tone, but I do have this." Alya pulled out a red polyester infinity scarf and draped it carefully over Marinette's head. She pulled back and giggled, "It suits you."

"Thank you so much, Alya,"

"Don't mention it."

At that moment, Adrien walked into the classroom and took his seat next to his faithful friend, Nino.

"What's up mi amigo?"

"Hey Nino," Adrien replied with a yawn.

He's so cute when he thought to herself. She recalled what Chat had said to her the previous night. She steeled herself. Today is the day. I will talk to Adrien.

"Good morning, Adrien." Marinette tried to sound casual but ended up sounding a bit too cheery. Alya slowly turned her head towards Marinette in encouraging shock.

"Oh," Adrien wasn't expecting Marinette to address him directly. "Good morning Marinette. How are you?"

Oh my god this is actually happening! "I'm fine. Just a little tired. Yourself?"

"Same, I didn't get much sleep last night. I might like math, but some of the problems are still killer."

"I completely agree."

Their conversation was cut off by a certain blonde who just so happened to enter the room.

"ADRIEN!" Chloe squealed as she caught sight of the green eyed model. "How are you? What are you and Marinette talking about?" she glared at Marinette.

Marinette clenched her fists, "Just discussing last night's math homework. You did do it, didn't you?"

"Why of course, Marinette! Sabrina has it. I'm pretty good at math, if I do say so myself. In fact, I gave my work to Sabrina so that she may use it as a reference in case she got stuck. Of course, my work is nothing compared to Adrien's," She turned her attention back to him and slyly placed her hand on top of his. Marinette could feel her blood begin to boil.

Adrien delicately withdrew his hand away from Chloe's, "I'm flattered Chloe, but my work isn't that impressive."

Just then the teacher walked in and commanded everyone to their seats. Class was in session.

XXXXXXXXXXX (like really the dashes are so aesthetic)

Adrien stepped inside his house. A weak greeting escaped his lips before he could pull it back. For it to fall on deaf ears would have been a blessing. He closed the door softly behind him, and walked up the stairs towards his room. Footsteps echoing on marble tiles up and down the cold hallways, he took the trip to his room, securing his door. There was no reason to even shut it, as Nathalie and his father were away for a week, but he did it nonetheless. Most kids would relish an empty house for a weekend, but it seemed like a family tradition now. His near boundless freedom had a sole restraint on Tuesday at 4:10, when he had to meet with a photographer for a potential shoot. If Mr. Agreste had taught him anything, it was that school was essentially optional as well.

"I'll still go…" Adrien said to himself, setting his bag down. School was the time he could pretend he was normal the easiest.

"Still go to the fridge? For my lunch?" Plagg drifted out of the discarded bag.

"You already ate lunch."

"Second lunch."

"How are you not like a black ping-pong ball already? Do Kwami not gain weight?"

"What do I care? A person who is fat is a person who was happy. Speaking of happy, there is a lil black creature who is about to get real unhappy without a selection of fine cheese."

"In the box on the desk. Don't complain for another two hours or else I'll put you on a diet."

"I am… mmm… not a… mmmmy goodneth thith ith good cheethe… not a pet!"

"Any pet that ate like you would be put out on the streets. It's just my luck that I can't get rid of you."

"Ah, whatever. You know you love me. Anyhow, what're we doin this week. Your pops is outta town, so is not-mom. How about a party with all those school friends?"

"Two people is not a party."

"Oh come on, you have Nino… uh… Alya? Marinette! There! Four is a party!" Plagg tossed the last bit of cheese in his mouth and promptly went to sleep. The antagonizing creature did have a point. What was Adrien going to do? He had spent as much time as he could at school, so his homework was finished hours ago. Nino was off with his family or homework, he wasn't really close enough or knowledgeable about Nino's feelings enough to spend time with Alya, and Marinette was… Well, he didn't really know what Marinette was. When he watched her from afar, she was warm, caring, helpful, and amazing, but when she talked to him she was shy, reserved, and hesitant. Did he do some wrong to her? Adrien made a mental note to try and be nicer to Marinette. Then he remembered this morning, when she seemingly stepped out of her shell. He'd need to spend more time around her. Maybe he'd learn more.

That friend group had its uses, at least. Without it, he probably would have never discovered the Ladyblog. He'd have to make a gift for Alya sometime as a thank-you present. Such excellent work could not go unrewarded. He had a few hours to kill before he had to go patrol, so he loaded up the page. Adrien couldn't spend a week on the blog, although. He had forgotten that Adrien doesn't exist on evenings and weekends. Chat Noir began where Adrien ended. Adrien caught himself smiling looking at headlines he played second fiddle to. He couldn't be mad. If the front page was filled with the love he dreamed of, there was no way he could even be annoyed. He sat back and wondered what Ladybug was doing. Where she was, and what she was up to.

Marinette sneezed, blowing the flour into her face. She huffed, but continued kneading the dough. Plenty of picnickers would be coming through tomorrow morning, so they needed their bakery stocked to the brim. If she worked hard enough, she could be done with this by 5, finish her French homework by 5:45, eat a quick dinner, then be on her way to patrol by 6. Perfect timing if she never stopped to take a breath, A swish of movement prompted her to look up, staring into the eyes of a black cat through a window. After freezing for a moment, it curled up in the afternoon sun and watched her through the dust. She grinned up at it. Such a content little fuzzball. If only Chat was like that. She shook her head. Every minute she lost now would cut into dinner later. She bet Chat would laugh at her if she showed up still eating. The dumb cat. She recalled his stunt last night and became painstakingly aware of the cuts and bruises still left. Her grin vanished. Yes, it was necessary to get both of them into the building, but some warning would be nice. He was vastly too reckless and didn't stop to think. She shook her head. Maybe that is what made him who he was. He had essentially sacrificed himself. She thought about what he said on their rooftop meeting. He isn't all bad. He can be pretty sweet sometimes. She wondered what Chat was doing right now. Probably not messing around with bread.

Adrien sneezed up a little bit of the roll he was chewing on. "Ew... " He wiped up the counter with his napkin. Was there a pigeon nearby? It was nearing June, allergy season would be right around the corner, if it wasn't there already. Now that he thought about it, what was he going to do for summer? He'd probably have a couple of weeks gone off somewhere with his father, a bit more work to do, but no class for the entire season. That left a good part of three months. He wondered if Nino would be willing to vacation somewhere with him. He could probably convince his Father after about a week of negotiations. Nino would be great company, but just the two of them would be tiring after a while. He didn't really have anyone else to invite… Except Marinette and Alya. He could barter for two rooms with his father, and it would be a good chance to get to know them better. He'd have to get closer to them over the next two weeks and discuss it with Mr. Agreste, then invite them the last day of school. It should all work out. A nice vacation to… Nice. Adrien had been once when he was a young boy, and it was a beautiful selection. He'd love to explore it again with some friends instead of being lead around by men in suits. He could probably even bargain for a little bit of money to spend. Get some presents for each of his friends. Nino would want some kind of music. The Italians would have something jumpin for him. For Alya, probably some genuine Italian accessories. Marinette… She made an excellent hat for a competition, crafted a couple of costumes, and he had heard that she was interested in fashion. A day or two in Italy would benefit all of them. The border shouldn't be an issue, at least not with Agreste notoriety in the area. The rest of the week could be subject to the morning's whims, Adrien didn't mind. He was spending it with friends, and that was all that mattered to him. Wait, if Marinette wanted to get into the fashion industry, then the Agreste family would be an easy in. Adrien might have to take a look at her designs. A mixture of his modeling and her designs could be lucrative for the both of them. But, what if that was all Marinette wanted? What if she was only being friendly to use him? No, no, that can't be. Too many malicious people in the industry had made him too suspicious. She would have taken advantage of that part of him years ago, not be shy around him for three years. Marinette certainly was an intriguing enigma, although. One he had to get to the bottom of.

Marinette sneezed again. She eyed the cat warily. Was she developing an allergy to cats? The cat settled down, startled by her sneeze. It couldn't be an allergy, she wasn't allergic to anything. She took a small bowl and filled it with milk. She slowly opened the window, and set out the milk. The breeze cooled her off a little as the oven heated her up. She leaned against the wall and rested for a spot. Her mother's conversation with a customer drifted in. "...Taking my husband out for the weekend. My Uncle owns a nice estate in the southwest, near Bordeaux. My husband works much too hard. I can't wait to relax with him." Marinette smiled, imagining herself vacationing with her husband. What a husband… Blonde hair, green eyes, a goofy looking smile when he is happy. Goes by Adrien usually… She popped a little bit of a sandwich into her mouth and pictured them. They would be married… right? "M… Misses… Misses Marinette Agreste" She smiled, no matter how many times she had said it, it never lost its glamour.

"Did you say something, Marinette?" Marinette jumped out of her skin. Her mother looked on from the doorway.

"N-No! Everything is in the ovens. I'm going to go upstairs."

"Alright. I'll listen for the timer, no need for you to do it. Thank you for helping."

"No problem, mom, I'll go to sleep after I finish my homework. Good night!"

Marinette willed the red from her face. Thinking about Adrien always brought her bad luck, it seemed. She eyed the black cat outside the window. "Or maybe it was you."

Chat Noir sneezed. He blinked a few times and shook his head. He looked back at the mirror. He always had to look his greatest for the greatest. A spritz of his usual Chat Noir-est cologne, a shake of his hair, and he leapt out his open window. At least he didn't have to sneak out when he was alone. Now, where could Ladybug be found?

Ladybug sneezed again. She recovered and popped the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. She eyed herself in the mirror. She was getting a bit thick. She flexed her arms, gaining about two inches on each. She turned to the side and looked at her thighs. They were right to propel her across buildings, but not so great for her to look at. Her eyes slid up."Thank goodness having a large rump is in these days." She shook her thoughts out of her head. Right now Paris did not need Marinette's issues with her looks. The city needed its heroine.


	2. Chapter 2: Meowch

Ladybug looked at her Yo-yo's screen. Chat hasn't shown up for five whole minutes. He was always so punctual. She would arrive first, then a moment later he would step out of the shadows. It had never occurred to her before, but was he waiting for her usually? She pushed the thought out of her head. It wasn't important right now, and she needed to focus. Chat could have been ambushed, or an accident could have happened. She checked her yo-yo again. Nothing. Chat had said nothing about it. Surely something was wrong.

"Oop, sorry Ladybug! I thought you would be late as usual today." Ladybug spun around. "I accidently skipped lunch. You want a burger? I got extra." Ladybug sighed and relaxed. Chat couldn't be having trouble, he only caused trouble for others. She leaned back against the banister.

"I've always had a soft spot for fries."

"I know," Chat hoisted one bag towards her, "so I got extra." Chat sat down in front of her and began eating. Ladybug took a few of her addiction.

"But, if you think I'm so heavy, maybe I shouldn't." Chat stopped eating and looked at her. He pondered for a moment, then got up.

"Carry me."

"W-What?"

"Carry me!" Chat ran and jumped into Ladybug's arms.

"Chat! Oh my god you are heavy!" Chat smiled.

"You have no problem carrying me. I might be heavy, but you can bare it." He rolled out of her arms and resumed his paused meal. "You might be heavy, but I can bare it. Any way you are, I can and will bare it. Any way you are, I will cherish you." Chat tossed a fry in his mouth.

"It was still pretty rude."

"I know. I'm sorry. But hey, muscle weighs more than fat, and you are like, stacked. I mean, have you seen your arms?" Chat waved some air at his face. "Whooooeeee, miss. You sure know how to make a man flustered."

"Shut up, Chat."

"I'm serious! Your biceps make me envious. Almost enough to make me change my name to Chat Vert!" Ladybug hid a smile. "Oh my god, did that joke actually work?"

Ladybug's refusal was cut short, as a boulder hit the roof between them. Chat gawked at his now devastated meal as Ladybug turned in the direction the boulder came from and began swinging her yo-yo. A young lady dressed in flowing colors stood on an adjacent roof.

"Good evening, Paris' unneeded heroes. I am Le Déplacer. I'm here to take your miracle stones. You can either give them up, or be crushed with nothing but my mind! Which shall it be?" Several rocks floated around Le Déplacer, like she was trying to make a point.

"You know, I've always wanted to know if they wouldn't actually kill us if we turned them over." Chat shrugged and got to his feet.

"Next time, Chat."

"The fun way, then?" Le Déplacer floated a few feet above the roof. "Excellent!" The roof beneath her was torn away and thrown at the Heroes. Chat jumped to the right, and Ladybug to the left. A few screams were heard on the streets below as the roof collided with another building. Ladybug looked back in horror.

"Chat! We have to protect the people! Draw her to a less populated area! A park, maybe!"

"Extraordinary idea, My Lady. I shall make it pawsible." He picked up a piece of rubble and heaved it at their opponent, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I require your attention!"

"Then my attention you shall get!" Chimneys behind her were dismantled, their bricks flying towards Chat. Chat leaped back off the building with a yelp, only receiving a fragment of brick to his cheek. Ladybug flew above him towards the designated park, looking out for civilians that may get hurt.

There went a nice cafe into a poof of dust. Hopefully they had insurance. A few cars swished over Chat's head. Parisian car dealers must be making a whole lot of money. A few apartments were hit by chunks of asphalt. Please, let there be no one in those. A crack in the road appeared between Chat's feet. He jumped up to avoid being crushed as two slabs slapped together. The park was slowly coming into view, but this had to be one of the most destructive villains they had ever faced. A street lamp took a swing at him, missing by less than a foot. There was the telekinetic herself, floating leisurely behind all her attacks. Any assault was repelled by a barrage of rubbish. Oh, that shop had some really nice pianos. Now it is a pia-no thank you. The road behind the duelers was torn to hell. Parisian unemployment must be really low, with all the construction jobs. A bus careened down the street at Chat, who stepped deftly to the side. Thankfully transportation workers were on strike today.

The park was right behind him. He put away his baton and held his arms up in a surrender. "I give up!" He smirked, "You are just too good of a Psy-chick!" With a shrill scream, the buildings across from the park crumbled, and flew at Chat. With a single backstep, Chat disappeared into the shadows of the forest. He found Ladybug waiting for him.

"Do you think you destroyed enough of the city on the way here?" Ladybug looked disappointed at Chat.

"Okay, I didn't see you willing to take a turn getting shit thrown at you, so why are you tossing shit at me?"

"Fun, mainly. Let me see what we have to work with. Lucky Charm!" Ladybug threw her yo-yo up, and a red and black polka-dotted megaphone drifted down to her hands. "Okay what the hell."

"You're the one that always figures out how to use it. I'm going to go find our opp-" Chat was cut off as the trees behind Ladybug shattered, sending fragments and shards towards the duo. Chat grabbed the red cloth at the base of Ladybug's neck, and pulled himself in between the splinters of wood and Ladybug. Her eyes widened as they met with Chat's worried, green irises. An impact pushed Chat nearer to Ladybug, then another, he was pressed up against her as the air around them was sliced by soaring splinters. A final hit knocked the breath out of Chat, and Ladybug felt a sudden sharp pain in her arm. Her jaw dropped as Chat's expression changed from worry, to anger, then resting on fear. He grabbed her arms and steadied himself. Ladybug's jaw began to tremble.

"C-Chat…?" Chat had a lopsided smile of his face, and he drew back, cupping her cheek.

"Don't… Don't worry about me…" Ladybug looked down, seeing a bit of wood protruding from Chat's chest. His black suit was staining darker. Ladybug's thoughts rushed.

"I-I-I-It's t-too low to have pierced your... heart… uh, we… we can…"

"We can keep fighting." Ladybug looked up at Chat's eyes. His cheek was still bloody, but his eyes were determined. Ladybug looked deeper, and saw the fear behind them. Chat slowly turned around. Ladybug's eyes widened as she saw the three large fragments of wood stuck in Chat's back. One was in his lower left back, certainly his pelvis was broken, a second a little bit higher on the right side, close to the spine, and the last, the longest, coming through at the bottom of Chat's ribcage.

"Y-y-you can't… Chat!" Chat took his baton in hand, took one step towards their enemy, and coughed up a sizable about of blood. "CHAT!" Ladybug stepped towards him, but he fell face forwards onto the ground. Ladybug slid to the ground, rolling Chat into her lap.

"Aaagh… That wasn't great…" Ladybug wiped her sleeve over Chat's mouth, smearing his blood. Her eyes widened as his hair swept back from his face. She could feel the tops her thighs getting drenched, but it wasn't a thought to her, her entire mind was on Chat. He blinked slowly a few times, his eyes looking through Ladybug. A faint smile grew on his lips.

"Hey… Ladybug…"

"Chat? Wh-what is it?" Ladybug's voice trembled, fearing that these may be his last words.

"You… you wanna hear a joke a-" he coughed a few times, "oooooohh… about pizza?"

"...W-w… What?"

"Nah… It's too…" Chat took a breath and sighed out, "Cheesy." The smile grew on his face as his eyes slimmed. Ladybug cupped his face with a shaking hand, her vision becoming blurred as her tears fell on Chat's now burgandy chest.

"Ch-Chat! N… N-n-no! CHAT!" She brought his face to her chest, her eyes unblinking, her mouth open.

"Well then, one Hero down. Now you shouldn't be much of a fighter, huh?" Le Déplacer drifted nearer to the duo. She looked down at Ladybug, her black hair covering both heroes' faces. A bloodied hand curled into a fist, and Chat was set down on his side. Ladybug stood up, the tide of tears slowing, her face still lowered. Le Déplacer took hold of her chin and slowly lifted her face to catch her eyes. "I'll make it quick."

Ladybug looked into the brown eyes of Le Déplacer. The villain lost her smile and shrinked back. Ladybug's face was something that no picture had ever captured. No reporter nor civilian had seen it before. It was entirely blank, minus the smudges of blood and the tears still running down it, but it carried rage behind the blue eyes. Vengeance. The hairs on the back of Le Déplacer's neck rose as a chill went through her. She opened her mouth to say something, but a red-coated fist found its way to her mouth first. Le Déplacer slammed into a tree across the clearing. She got up and shook her head, ready to fight again. Ladybug hadn't moved from her spot, but she was now carrying the red and black megaphone. Le Déplacer raised her hands, preparing to send more shards of wood towards the hero. Ladybug took a breath, then screamed into the megaphone.

The black haze wore away for a moment. He couldn't hear anything, but he saw Ladybug standing in front of him, a cone of destruction in front of her. Le Déplacer sat on her knees in the middle of it, holding her head. Ladybug stiffly walked up to her, and snatched a glowing spoon away from her possession. As Le Déplacer tried to reach for it, Ladybug kicked her, sending her flying off out of Chat's view. Ladybug walked back towards him. She cracked the spoon in half with a swift motion, and grabbed the freed Akuma with one hand. She slammed it into her yo-yo and set it down next to Chat as she kneeled next to him. She pulled his head into her lap and smoothed out his hair.

"Chat…" She broke again, her voice wavering, "p-plea...se… don't leave me alone…" Chat could feel her gently rock as drops began to fall on his face. "please…" Chat tried to give some sign that he was fine, that he was alive, but he couldn't move. He desperately willed his arm to lift and comfort her. He silently screamed, he thrashed violently, he sobbed horribly, anything to let her know that he was there. Nothing. Chat was still. Ladybug realized that Chat was still not moving.

"CHAT!" she shrieked his name to herself. She set her head down on his chest, shuddering with each breath. She was alone.

Chat rested his hand on her head. He closed his eyes. He was gone, so it seemed. His eyes were soaked from himself, his chest from his partner, but he wore a small smile. Dying protecting Ladybug was his dream. He would have it no other way. He felt Ladybug's head slowly rise underneath his hand. "C-c… Chat?" He opened his eyes again. His hand was resting calmly on Ladybug's head. He could feel everything again. His wet costume, his bruises, the three large pieces of wood sticking out of his back. He opened his mouth to make mention of them, but only a gurgle and more blood came out.

"Chat! Oh my-uh god shit, the wood!" Ladybug rolled Chat on his side, and grabbed the highest splinter. She yanked it out, drawing a drowned scream out of Chat. "S-sorry! I'll make this quick!" She pulled the second fragment out, eliciting a quieter gurgling noise. "Last one." The last shard out of Chat. As the purified Akuma healed his wounds, he began to cough up crimson. Ladybug rubbed his back as he coughed himself coarse. He rolled onto his back with a groan. Ladybug wiped her face and sniffed.

"Uhm… Ladybug…?" Chat whispered, looking around him fearfully. Ladybug inhaled quickly.

"Thank goodness."

"How… How much blood…" Ladybug cut him off.

"Too much." Chat tried to sit up with her help, getting him to rest on an outstretched arm.

"I guess… I uh… Only have eight lives… left." Ladybug's features softened. They sat in silence for a moment.

"You still have that cut on your cheek." She wiped a little bit of the blood of it off. Chat just stared at her.

"When you said… Alone…" Ladybug dropped her hands with a sigh and looked away.

"So you heard that… I, uh… I meant as Ladybug. For all the injuries you get, if you died I wouldn't be able to hold Paris for long. Paris falls with you, Chat. And, you are the person I am closest to as Ladybug. I have friends and family in my normal life of course, but you know me as… well, this. You know me as what you think is the real me."

Chat pondered this for a moment.

"If you give someone a lot of power and anonymity, there is no way they can restrain the real them. Whether the real them is good or evil." Chat paused, "I'm the opposite of you." Ladybug looked back at him.

"How so?"

"The alone part. In my "real" life, I don't have much. Not many friends, essentially no family. This life, all dressed up in black skintight suits, fighting bad guys with you, it makes up for it. You make up for it. I guess that's another subconscious reason why I am so reckless and protective... I… I want to die before you do." Ladybug stared at him.

"Chat…"

"Because what if the Miraculous went to some 14 year old girl that I can't flirt with... " A sudden realization took ahold of Chat and he grabbed her hands, "Ladybug! Please please please, tell me how old you are!" Ladybug's eyes slimmed.

"You never ask a lady her age, but I am 17. I'll be 18 next year." Chat breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god. We're the same age. Wait, when is your birthday?" Chat scooted closer as she huffed at him.

"What, so you can find me?" Ladybug crossed her arms and Chat huffed back.

"There are two and a quarter million people in Paris. If the same amount of people have birthdays of each day… that's around… eh… 6200? A bit less. Between 6100 and 6200 people probably have the same birthday as you." Ladybug looked at him, astonished, "I'm pretty good at math."

"Fine. March 21st." Chat hummed, then his jaw dropped.

"WAIT, YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME? Ugh, I'm April 18th." Ladybug smiled.

"I'm older than you? Wait, so your birthday was a month ago and you didn't tell me?"

"I dunno, birthdays aren't very big in my family. I barely noticed."

"Chat, I would have thrown you a party! All of Paris would!"

"Yours was two months ago. Where was your party?"

"Small, private, and not for you, buddy."

"I would have gotten you something good if you told me. Something big, grand, and lovely."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve it. You have no idea how incredible you make my life. I owe it to you."

"Oh, Chat…" Ladybug's earring beeped at her, "Oh man, I had better get going, you big flatterer. If I wasn't so wrapped up with Adrien, you might just have had a chance." Chat stood rigidly still. _Adrien? Adrien is the name of her crush? M-Me Adrien? No, that can't be... Could it?_ "Hey, are you all healed up? Chat?" Chat shook himself.

"Uh, I, uh yeah. I'm good." Ladybug gave him a small smile. _Could she be crushing on me without knowing it? No, it is statistically impossible. But, there is that chance._

"Alright then. Au Revoir, Chat Noir." Her smile grew at her rhyme and she swung away.

 _Could it be?_

XXXXXXXXXXX (i have to edit seven chapters of section breaks)

"Alright, Plagg. Her crush's name is Adrien. That's my name. How likely could it be that her crush is me?"

"I'm going to guess impossible, but you'll find a way to raise your hopes."

"So, the name Adrien has recently fallen downwards in popularity in recent years, but back in the late 90's it was pretty popular. 26th most popular name in 2000, with 3627 babies. This is all in France, of course."

"Please stop before you get carried away."

"There is no data for 1998, though… I'll have to estimate. About a 250-450 amount difference each year… So in 1998, there were about 4100 Adriens born in France. But of course, what if her crush isn't the same age as her…"

"And with that, you give up."

"So we'll throw in 1999 and 1997 as well. We'll say… 3850 Adriens born in 1999 and 4325 in 1997. This is a very rough estimate, but in all of France, 12,175 Adriens are able to be her crush."

"Congrats, you are one in 12 thousand. Can you get some rest now?"

"Buuuut, we can probably exclude those that are outside Paris, right? She has to live in the city somewhere, and go to school here too. Paris' population is 2.25 million, France's is 66 million, with some rounding. So… 3.4 percent of French people live in Paris. If we can assume that names are spread evenly throughout the country…"

"Which ya can't…"

"Then that means that there are… 413 Adriens able to be Ladybug's crush. I am one out of 413. That's a bit depressing… Plagg, how hard do you think it is to find 412 Adriens and moving them out of the country for a bit?"

"No."

"That has to be some kind of illegal… Alright, what else can we throw out… If only I knew his age, then I could limit it down to 140 people."

"By dividing 412 by three? It doesn't work like that."

"Wait… Wait… She said a few days ago, something. Her crush… was in her class for three years! Without her uttering a good sentence to him! That means her crush is also 17! It's down to 140 possible Adriens! And I'm one of them! I have to keep going."

"How about you don't."

"Uhmm… Dropouts! Okay, says here that there is an 11.6 percent dropout rate in people aged 18-24. That has to be a little high, so let's cut it down to 10. That means… 14 17-year-old Parisian Adriens have dropped out. 126 Adriens left."

"All I want is for sounds to stop coming out of your mouth and cheese to come into mine"

"Uhm… What about… Homeschooling! That's a thing! Oh… Only 5000 or so homeschoolers in France."

"A few years ago it was 5001."

"Let's just say that one Adrien has an over-protective mother. One Hundred and Twenty-Five Adriens."

"Alright kiddo, let me stop ya right there and destroy your points. With how many kids are in France, you really think a 17-year-old Parisian Adrien is homeschooled? No one is homeschooled in Paris."

"Except me."

"No one except you. Dropout rates are for 18-24 year olds, not 17 year olds. AND, don't say you were generous cutting it down to an even ten, who drops out Junior year or before? Also, what if her crush got held back? Or moved forward? You're right back to 413 Adriens."

"That's still pretty g-"

"Not done. Adrien is a pretty good, wealthy name. Paris is a pretty good, wealthy city. I'd wager a whole wheel of cheese that there are unproportionate Adriens in Paris. And finally, Jesus, kid! The margin of error you have is taller than a Frenchman's sex tales!"

"What?"

"Paris has 2.24 million people, and then some extra, France has 66.2 million people, and then some extra. Even then, 2.25 does not go evenly into 66. It's 3.4 and some decimals, probably. Then, you had to estimate the total amount of baby Adriens born per year! Estimation, by definition, is inaccurate!"

"I know, Plagg, I know. I just… I lose my mind around her. And if there was so much as a chance that she might like me… Not even Chat Noir me! Boring me. The me that even my family left. Then I lose it even more. I… I can't think straight, Plagg. Thanks for keeping me grounded."

"It's kind of my job. Anyhow, did you ever think that she meant Adrienne? As in, a woman?"

Adriens jaw dropped as his eyes widened.

"I-I-I… No…! I didn't even… Wait, no! She said him, and he! So her crush is male!"

"Unless she is hiding it from even Chat Noir. The closet is a nice place for some!" Plagg teased, somersaulting in the air.

"I- uh… Well I know my first question for next time, then."

XXXXXXXXXXX (it very mildly annoys me but i mean, ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

"Tikki, could you hold this cloth there?" Marinette winced as the bandage shifted. She reached for the gauze on the table with her other hand.

"I thought you didn't get hit?" Marinette lightly shrugged.

"I guess I got cut through Chat. Ew, some of his blood probably got in mine!" She quickly wrapped the cleaned wound in gauze, right above the elbow. She had plenty of shirts that could hide that. She cocked her head at the thought of Chat's blood. "What if one of us had a bloodborne illness? Would the Akuma fix that? Would it just stop transmission or would it heal it entirely?" She considered this for a moment.

"Let's just hope we never have to find out." Tikki smoothed out the bandage and flew over to her designated pillow, snagging a cookie on her way. "There are too many things that I just don't know."

"Even after a few thousand years of doing this?"

"Well, back in the 1800's and before, we didn't really know much about illnesses. They happened, and that was about all. And my goodness, don't get me started on the black plague." Tikki shuddered and went back to eating her cookie. Marinette checked her phone, finding a handful of old messages from Alya.

 **A: Marinette! You can't avoid me that easily! Who was that this morning?**

 **A: Don't think about ignoring me! You said a full sentence to Adrien! Like, three of them!**

 **A: Okay, now I'm getting annoyed. You had better come clean!**

The last one was sent at 4 pm. Marinette looked at the clock and groaned. Three minutes past midnight, and she had to wake up in six hours. Her homework could probably be rushed to completion in an hour or two, but Alya would take about the same. She sent a quick message.

 **M: I don't know! I guess something built up my confidence!**

That would have to do. If Chat was good at anything, it was making her feel good about herself. Luckily, it seems as if Ladybug's confidence was beginning to pass on to Marinette. Maybe someday soon, she'd be able to confess to Adrien! She played it over in her mind. She'd buy him some chocolates… Walk up to him, tell him that she had something to say… Then he'd follow her… and then she would… she would… Her face was glowing red and her hands were pressed against the sides of her face, nearly sending steam around her face. It'd have to be a while until she got to confessing.


	3. Chapter 3: Good Bi, Nate

Marinette trudged into class slouching and dragging her feet reflecting her zombified mental state. The combination of homework, nightmares, and early mornings was lethal to the developing academic mind.

As Marinette plopped herself down in her seat Alya commented, "You don't look too hot," She placed a worried hand on her best friend's back. Marinette responded to the observation with a groan and slammed her head on the desk desperately trying to catch some sleep in the 3 minutes before class started. The attempt was futile as the moment she closed her eyes images of a bleeding, lifeless Chat assaulted her mind. Her eyes shot open. _What good is sleep if I'm tormented in my dreams?_

"Here," Alya gently laid a piece of coffee candy in front Marinette's face. "It's got caffeine and sugar so it should help even if only a little bit."

"Thanks," Marinette gratefully took the candy and popped it into her mouth.

Marinette tried to listen in on the murmur going on between Adrien and Nino, but it was quickly stamped out by the teacher.

"Ok class," Mr. Dutherlans entered the room. "Turn to page 677 for today's lecture."

XXXXXXXXXXX (wow that was a small section)

"Now that we've gone over the 4 main causes of the First World War, you all will be getting into groups and making presentations covering how militarism, secret alliances, imperialism, and nationalism played a part in your assigned country's entry into war," Mr. Dutherlans explained. "In addition to making a presentation, your group will also be making a fill in the blank worksheet to accompany your presentation so the class can follow along as you present."

Sabrina raised her hand, "Will these worksheets be graded?"

"Both your presentation and worksheet will be graded."

"Can we pick our groups?" Nino asked.

"No, I have already picked your groups for you."

Marinette turned to Alya and pouted. Alya giggled and returned the sentiment with an over exaggerated sigh.

Unaware of the girls' shenanigans the teacher droned on reading off the names of the groups. "Marinette, Nathanaël, Juleka, and Adrien, you guys will be covering Germany."

Upon hearing that she was in Adrien's group, Marinette perked up and flashed Alya a grin.

"Nino, Chloe, Max, and Alya, your group will be doing your presentation on Austro-Hungarian Empire."

Nino and Alya exchanged displeased glances at the prospect of working with Chloe. The spectacled boy made an imaginary gun with his hand and held it against his temple. Alya smiled and rolled her eyes as the teacher listed off a few more names.

"Is there anyone who is not in a group?" Dutherlans asked. No one spoke. "Ok, now I would like you to use the last 15 minutes of class to get in your groups and divide the work. Use your time wisely."

With that the class dispersed to get into their groups.

"Everyone in the Austria-Hungary group, get over here!" Chloe called.

"I guess we have to go over there," Nino grumbled.

"Honestly, what'd you expect?" Alya responded.

With that the two walked over to the other side of the room while Adrien and Marinette laid their claim on the section of the room. Nathanaël walked over and took the seat next to Marinette.

"Hello, Marinette," The red headed boy beamed.

"Hey Nathanaël," Marinette returned.

"So, Germany then?" Adrien smiled at his partners when Juleka joined them. Barely missing a swoon, Marinette noticed a thin, skin colored bandage on his cheek.

"Wait, Adrien, what happened to your cheek?" Adrien looked worried for a moment and reached up to brush it.

"Oh, uh… I was messing around with a piece of wood and it snapped. Nearly lost an eye!" Adrien noticed that Marinette's eyebrows moved more than expected at the mention of wood.

"Alright, at least it was nothing serious. Back on the graded subjects, who wants to do which parts?" Nathanaël spoke up first.

"I'd like to do nationalism. It would most likely have some cool propaganda and artwork stuff, so I can do a good job of it."

"Alright, then I'll do Secret Alliances. Lord knows I have experience with that." Marinette's mouth twitched as she sympathetically eyed Adrien. Thankfully his peripheral vision is so good, or else he may miss all of Marinette's quirks.

"Juleka, would you be fine doing Imperialism? I kind of want to do Militarism." Militarism would be more closely linked to Secret Alliances, right?

"That sounds cool. I can pull it off."

"Excellent! Uh… We have each others numbers, right?" Three heads nodded, "Great! We can schedule meetings that way."

"So we should have some basic research done by the end of this weekend, right? That gives you a few days to blast through a good couple wikipedia articles." Adrien smiled at his joke.

"So we'll meet on Monday or Tuesday then?" Nathanaël had just blown right by his joke. Adrien was almost offended. Marinette regained her composure.

"Let's shoot for Tuesday. I'll text you all and figure it out. See what all is on your calendars that day." The bell sounded, and the teacher dismissed them all, "All right, see you all later!" Marinette quickly gathered her bag and rushed out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXX (it's kinda neat to have to come back and edit this stuff.)

 _Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god she is just too cute and strong and nice and reliable and lovely and oh my god and oh my god_

Nate's hand moved in a flurry, sketching absent minded perfection. His mouth curved up in a dreamy smile while his pleasant blue eyes contrasted with his burning hair and face.

 _and I GET TO WORK WITH THIS INCREDIBLE YOUNG LADY OH MY GOD oh my god I have to work with this incredible young lady oh god what if I fuck up what if I mess it up and she hates me what if she blows it out of the water like her incredible self and Adrien finally realizes how incredible she is and she realizes how not incredible I am and then they get together what if-_

"MONSUIER BRONN!" Nathanaël froze. His eyes stared at the good seven pages of sketches  
featuring likenesses of Marinette. He shut the book as his blush grew and faced Mrs. Mendeleiev.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm quite certain that notes don't look quite like that, and you certainly wouldn't put that much effort into them." He slid the notebook towards her expectant hand and looked away.

"I'm sorry…"

"See me after class." She took the book and walked back to the front of the room. Nathanaël tried to pay attention. _I swear she hates just me._ He looked around the room. Chloe was taking selfies. She had four Instagram accounts, each one 99% her face. Mrs. Mendeleiev looked right at her and didn't even flinch. _Yup. Just me._ Refusing to let his thoughts rest on Chloe, he looked around the room. Ivan and Mylene were likely texting each other and sharing flirty glances. Kim had his arms crossed and a smile, Nathanaël bet he was daydreaming about being a sports legend. Alix was likely doing the same. Nino was bobbing his head to an unheard beat, his mind probably far and away from the classroom. To Nathanaël's right, Rose and Juleka chatted almost silently. Only Sabrina, Adrien, Alya, and Max were actually paying attention. Marinette's head drooped every few seconds, seemingly struggling to follow her best friend. _Must have been a rough night for her. She's usually such a good student._ _Better than I am at least._

His dreamy smile returned as he remembered what he had been working on before he had his sketchbook confiscated. Nathanaël, the small, meek, ordinary boy who sat in the back of class who did nothing but doodle and sketch childish musings, becoming the school hero and saving everyone from a miserable existence that would've made death seem merciful. All of this would lead to, as the cliché goes, Marinette, the love of his life, falling in love with him as well.

 _Only in my mind would that happen._ He let out a wistful sigh before he could stop it. Thankfully Ivan was so distracted. _She likes Adrien and I can do nothing but respect that._

He glanced up at the perfect boy in the front row, hanging on the professor's every words. It was pointless to even consider what he had that Nathanaël didn't. He was a model, for god's sake. He had the charm, he had those eyes (albeit they looked rather tired today), he had kindness that knew no bounds, he had it all in one perfectly shaped package. _Perfectly shaped… Perfectly… Shaped…_ God Adrien was well built. A good 5'11", and probably still growing, he was almost a head above Nathanaël. Jawline that would cut you if you touched it. Collarbones that would make a nun swoon. _Oh my god that hair._ Nathanaël had dedicated a good armful of pages to just Adrien's hair. Nate moved on from Adrien. _My, we are a handsome class._

Nathanaël's works starred the entire class, and in order to improve his skills, he found himself studying each of them and observing their features. At first it was just so he could draw them, but he soon noticed that everyone had a certain… allure. Every person had attractive features, it was only a matter of finding and deciphering them. Like, with Adrien, it was damn near everything, but that hair and those eyes stood out. For Rose, it was her big blue eyes and constant sunny smile. Juleka's pale, unblemished skin gave her an unmatched glow. While Alix had a muscular build that matched her fiery personality and came out incredibly with oil pastel or ink, Mylene's calmness reflected her gentle curves which were easily praised by a pencil or watercolor. Ivan's smile could save someone from hypothermia. Max's mesmerizingly dark complexion was tantalizing and beautiful in Nathanaël's eyes. Kim was, obviously, a rather well structured specimen. Nino's cheeks gave his face a rounded and cute appearance. Alya had assets that could kill a man with so much as a look. And Marinette… _Oh, goodness, Marinette. Thank goodness there are not many free guys in this class._ Ivan was spoken for, Nino was essentially head over heels, Max certainly wasn't friends with Kim for his smarts, and Kim was too focused on his rivalry with Alix to chase after anyone else. Only Nathanaël had noticed the miraculous Marinette. Of course, Adrien was certainly free to find it out. He certainly knew that Chloe had no chains on him.

 _God they would be such a great couple. A model and a designer, they complement each other perfectly. They would be a superhuman duo. Like a human Ladybug and Chat Noir._ The bell chimed and interrupted his thought. He slowly packed his bag and trudged up to the desk in the front, behind his classmates. Ms. Mendeleiev gave him a look of disdain.

"If only you took notes as diligently as you doodled in my class," she chided.

"Yes, Ms. Mendeleiev,"

The professor begrudgingly handed him his sketch book and she walked out of the room. Nate walked back to his seat and sat steadied himself on the table. He was such a screw-up. He was a lackluster doodler with no future. Now he had to work with his crush on such a giant part of their grade. How was he not going to screw it all up? A drip plopped down on the table before he could catch it. He grit his teeth and wiped his eyes. He couldn't make Marinette even look at him now, how was she going to talk to him when he fucked everything up? What use did he even have? _God, I wish I could just not exist. That would—_

"Oh, hey Nate. You're still here?" Adrien gave the startled boy a kind smile after a yawn as he picked up his bag, "Nino yanked me out quick, so I forgot my bag." He paused and furrowed his brow noticing the petite redhead's body language, "And, don't go trying to disguise your face now. You look stressed. What's happening?" Nathanaël sighed and crossed his arms as Adrien took a step towards him.

"I'm a screw-up." He mumbled to the floor, barely loud enough for himself to hear.

"What makes you think you're a screw-up?" Adrien walked the rest of the way and leaned against the table to look sideways at Nate. _How did he even hear that?_

"Uh… The Evillistrator thing, the science project last year, I'm always getting busted for drawing… Essentially my entire life is good evidence of it." Adrien wrapped an arm around Nate's shoulders.

"Hey, I noticed something. I only realized it recently, but, when you are interested in something, engaged in something, when you are fighting for something, you can do amazing things. You have talents that never cease to amaze me. Who cares if you make mistakes. Who cares if you slip up. Making mistakes is being a human. If you didn't make any I would think you were a robot or something. You are no one else but you. If you weren't you, the entire world would be different. So be you. Miraculous, incredible you. No matter what that means." Adrien drew him in for a brief hug as Nathanaël's jaw hung slightly open. Adrien looked at the clock above Nate's head, and released the smaller boy. "Uh, shoot, sorry, I hope I helped! I gotta rush off. I'll talk to you later, Nate!"

Nathanaël stood still for a while. His jaw closed and his lips curved into a small grin.

 _I can see why Marinette is so enamored over him._

XXXXXXXXXXX (i could change the entire content of the story and y'all would never know)

Adrien returned from lunch 5 minutes before French literature was about to start. He took his seat and got his materials out. Nino gave him a small head nod as he continued talking to Alya who was soothingly stroking Marinette's back. Marinette had her arms covering her face as she slept. She must have been very tired if she could sleep through all the noise the class made right now.

Marinette woke up with a start which made Alya retract her hand.

"Are you feeling better, Mari?" Alya asked in a motherly tone.

"A little I guess," Marinette grumbled.

Nathanaël walked in holding two cups of coffee. He set down one on Adrien's desk, "You didn't sleep much last night, an artist always knows." And the other on Marinette's, "And I could be blind and still tell you didn't sleep much. I didn't know what to get either of you so I just got frappe's with an extra two shots of expresso." He tried to turn to walk to his seat, but Marinette stopped him.

"W-wait! I can't accept this, Nathan!" Adrien opened his mouth as to join her refusal, but Nate cut him off.

"I had a card that would have expired." Marinette hesitated, "I'm not able to return it, just enjoy it!" He smiled warmly at the both. They quickly expressed their thanks as the clicking of Miss Bustier's heels echoed into the room. _Maybe I still have a chance to catch up to those two. Maybe._

XXXXXXXXXXX (unless you are a new reader. then it wouldn't work.)

 _God I really hope that helped Nate. I was just talking out my ass. I mean, I meant it, he does some really neat stuff, but I really had no idea where I was going._ Adrien looked out the window as Paris glided by. Gabriel was giving Adrien less and less time between school and work. If this kept up, Adrien would soon be modelling while taking notes on the lecture.

Adrien was on the backside of his teenage rebellion. 14 year old him wanted to strain against the bars in place, and luckily was able to easily slip by them with Plagg's assistance. If Plagg hadn't shown up, Adrien would likely be disowned or in jail by now. Sometime around 16 he realized why his father was so restrictive. Gabriel was afraid. He had lost his wife, not from death or someone else, but her own choice. She had simply walked away. So, to insure that it never happened again, he chained Adrien down. Gabriel was never very close to Adrien with his work, but that had distanced them even more. It had already happened, Adrien had dissected the issue and figured out how to better it, it was all done and over with. If Gabriel trusted Adrien not to run, if Gabriel thought that he had "trained" him well enough, the chain might disappear. Or it would at least lengthen.

The car pulled into the Agreste mansion. Adrien prayed for there to be no Akuma tonight. He had a brilliant partner he needed to pick the mind of.


	4. Chapter 4: Motivational Munchies

"The last time you looked like that, you almost killed yourself trying to ask me out the next day." Chat Noir was posed dramatically sitting on a banister with his glass of water the cafe below provided. His right leg drooped and swung off the edge, the other pointed up for his left elbow to rest on. His right hand held his glass, sporadically raising to his lips. He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her with a smirk.

"Is that a request or a suggestion, mon amour?"

"No. Neither."

"I'm not giving up, I'll have you know." He turned his body to face her.

"Why do you always look like someone is about to take a picture of you?" _Shit, habit is not the right answer._

"Are you sure it's not just my handsome features doing it for me? And looking at your pictures on the Ladyblog, maybe you should start taking lessons from me." Ladybug groaned at the memories of "action shots" that were more of her making dumb faces and exposing her chins than actually good action.

"If another picture of me sneezing comes up, I might take you up on that offer." Chat smiled warmly, "But, that is certainly your thinking face. What's on your mind?" Chat raised his eyebrows and hesitated, structuring his words.

"Well… Since you asked…"

"I am rescinding my question."

"Oh come on. I've told you that my father is very restrictive. I want to try to go on a trip this summer. Without him looking over my shoulder and guiding my actions."

"Oof. From what you have told me about your father, that sounds like more work than it is worth."

"Well, that's why I need the help of the Parisian superhero strategist!" Chat gestured towards her. A slightly strained smile played out on his face. Ladybug sighed and sat down in front of him.

"Alright. Tell me about him. Maybe we can pull a plan together." Chat's grin changed from stress to glee and he hopped off the banister to sit cross legged in front of her.

"Okay, so my biggest two ideas are to play into the part that he likes to try and gain my favour with buying me things and that I have not strained against my chains for a long time."

"Chat Noir? Not trying to break out of his prison?"

"I know, shocking, right? Anyhow, I am not independently wealthy, so I not only have to get him to let me go, but I have to get him to pay for it to."

"Hmmm… Has he ever put your well-being before something else?"

"Well yeah, he is distant and controlling, not evil."

"You could play up that you need a break from your job, whatever it is."

"Mm. I want to bring a few friends along, so I don't think he'd buy that. I could use that I have worked diligently for a long time. I more of want to go on that I need some good ol' teenage freedom for a while, but he is vehemently against that."

"Hmm. You might have mentioned it before, but why is he so restricting?" Chat sighed and sat back.

"He… My mom. She walked away from the family. I believe that he is afraid I'll do the same."

"Sounds like you need to butter him up."

"Butter him up?"

"You've never…? Wow. Okay. Uh, make the relationship between you two seem better than it is. You've said that he isn't home a lot, is he coming home any time soon?"

"Uh, yes, next week. He should be pretty free that week. Not much going on."

"Perfect. Take him to lunch, eat dinner with him, go see a movie, whatever you two both enjoy. Whether you do or not, you have to act happy the entire time. He'll think 'Wow my son isn't going anywhere' and be more likely to let you go. It's getting kinda late for tonight, though. Shall I help you construct your argument another time?"

"Hmm. Sure. I think I follow you on buttering him up. I'll try it out. I like the voice you used for my father, by the way."

"Was I close to reality?"

"Ooooh, not even remotely."

XXXXXXXXXXX (halfway down lmao)

Plagg felt Adrien come to a stop. He poked his head out of Adrien's pocket.

"Are you having second thoughts about talking to pops?" the kwami pried.

"No, just a little nervous that's all," the blond replied.

"Why don't you get it over with so you aren't nervous? And once you're done you can give me some cheese," the black cat gleefully remarked while doing a flip in the air.

"It's not that easy for humans, but fine. Get back in," Adrien said with a pout.

Plagg complied and heard the door to Gabriel's study open and felt Adrien move.

"Did you need something Adrien?" Gabriel's detached voice sounded.

 _C'mon kid, you got this._ Adrien hesitated for a moment.

"Uh, yes. I knew that you are free this week, or at least freer than normal…"

 _Keep on subject to get through it._

"So I was wondering if you would like to join me for lunch tomorrow." There was an uncomfortable lack of communication for a moment as Gabriel shuffled papers.

"Hmm. What time did you have in mind?" _Jesus this guy displays as much emotion as a brick at midnight._

"I have my lunch period from 11 to one in the afternoon."

"I have a meeting from 11:30 that will likely take until two. I cannot miss it." _What kind of dad says no to a son that just wants to spend time with him? Sure there is a motive behind it, but he doesn't have to know about that right now._

"Oh… That's fine." Plagg cringed at the sound of Adrien's voice. There was defeat, disappointment… Plagg was right ready to burst out of this pocket and give Gabriel a stern talking to. _Or wait, shit, was Adrien just a really good actor?_

"How about Thursday? The day after tomorrow? If I spend the rest of Wednesday drawing up plans, I should be free at that time. Either that or Friday for dinner." Plagg was shuffled as Adrien lit up, his heart accelerating. _Doesn't take much for this kid._

"Oh! Uh, if it's not too much, could we do both?"

"Hmm. That could work. I'll pick you up on Thursday. On Friday, let's send the kitchen staff home early and cook ourselves. There were a few dishes I've had recently that I would like the recreate." even in his hidden perch Plagg could feel Adrian relax. Certainly a smile was growing on his face as he breathed new air.

" that- that would be excellent! I know an excellent place for bread nearby school, let me know what we will need and I'll pick it up."

"I shall have Nathalie get the message to you. If that is all, you may go."

Adrien nodded and turned away, significantly more pep in his step. Plagg patted Adrien's chest in his shirt pocket as the doors closed softly behind them. Plagg floated up to look his user in his sparkling, gleeful eyes.

"That went good!" Plagg began to share Adrien's grin.

"Good? It went great! I never thought that he would have us make dinner together! Maybe this will be easier than I thought." The hairs on the back of his neck rose, "If it is not one thing, it is likely another, but it looks like my prayers were answered. Plagg, Claws Out!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (why do i feel like it is necessary to slam in an authors note at every section break)

"You sure gave me a shock, sir!" Ladybug and La Statique looked at Chat, dismayed. His goofy grin and static filled hair made it hard for him to be taken seriously.

"Are you serious?" Ladybug blinked at him.

"Yeah! I'm amped up to go!" Ladybug groaned.

"If I just leave you two alone, you might willingly give me your miracle stones."

"I'll willingly give you my fist instead." Ladybug charged at him, only to be met with a flash and a zap. She flew back, smashing into Chat Noir, and sending them both off the roof into the alley below. They got up and ran, flashes and pops landing behind them.

"We need to think of something different, My Lady."

"God, what could he even be angry about?"

"Current events?" Chat said with a smile.

"What happened recentl- oh you mean like electricity. Clever." Ladybug deadpanned. They hopped up to another roof.

"How do you even fight electricity…?" Chat hunched down, looking at the villain a few blocks over.

"Let's hope we find a way. Lucky Charm!" Chat squinted to protect his sensitive eyes from the light. Honestly, it was such a weird thing for her to do. Cataclysm just took a word and a touch, but she has to do that pose and throw her yo-yo up and then the item just floats down. Time wasting, to say the least. The light faded, revealing a confused Ladybug holding a large laptop and charging cable.

"Do we need to Google an answer, or what?" Ladybug's eyebrows scrunched together more.

"I'm... not sure?"

"I'm surprised your eyebrows don't have a six pack by now. You have that look every time you use Lucky Charm."

"You know, just once I'd like an obvious one. By the time we defeat Hawkmoth, I'll be like the protege of MacGyver."

"Who?"

"You don't- MacGyver? You don't know who MacGyver is?"

"Uh, am I supposed to?"

"Oh my god. I can't look at you, go fight the villain while I figure out how to use this."

"Alright, My Lady. Your wish is my command." Chat hopped off the roof. Exclamations and zaps echoed up from the alleys.

 _What am I supposed to do with a laptop? Hack him? I have to get Papa to help me every few months to get rid of a virus… Merde…_ Ladybug swiped the touchpad and an alert came up. The battery was on 3%. _Wh- Surely it can't be that simple._ A yowl pierced her thoughts. No time to wait and see.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"I'm a supervillian. I'm not going to pull my punches. Or, in this case, tone down the zaps."

"Watts wrong with you?" Le Statique paused and blinked at him. Chat's smile grew. "Eeeehh?"

Ladybug landed behind the villain, laptop in hand, and sprinted forwards. She shoved the cord into his back and halted, eyes clamped shut. The laptop beeped. It was charging.

"Oh, that worked." Le Statique tried to touch Ladybug, but nothing happened. Ladybug snatched his meter out of his toolbelt and smashed it on the ground. A flash of white light, a flutter of pleasant wings, an electrician's confusion, and the fight was done.

"My, what a shocking conclusion!" Chat snapped and pointed at Ladybug. "Eeeeeehhh?"

"I'm going to hit you."

"Hit on me instead. Hey, catch you on the roof before you head out?"

"Sure. I need to tell you something as well." Ladybug hopped up off the road, quickly followed by Chat. Chat noticed a dot disappear on her earring. Talking fast was a specialty of his.

"I wanted to say thanks. I talked to my father right before this Akuma. Now he is like how bread falls on opposite day!"

"Wh- What?"

"Butter up!" Ladybug sighed and turned away.

"Okay bye Chat."

"Wait! You said you had something to tell me as well!"

"You promise not to pull another pun?"

"I want to say I'll purromise but I'm not going to."

"I took your inspiration to heart and talked to that guy I liked." Chat's face lit up.

"Really? How did it go?"

"I didn't stammer that much. I only messed up a little."

"OOOHHH, Ladybug! Good work! I'm so proud of you!"

"Chat, I said three sentences to him."

"That's three more than before! Keep it up. Anyhow, you have two dots left. Better get a move on."

"Oop! Thanks again, Chat! I'll see you later!" Chat Noir waved at the shrinking red dot for a moment too long. His arm fell as slow as his face. Fake appearances can only last so long. A single drop fell at his feet. All he could do is watch his love slip through his fingers.


	5. 5: Wining, Whining, Dining, and Dying

Smile, welcome, cash, bread, wait. Smile, welcome, cash, bread, wait. Smile welcome cash bread wait. Smilewelcomecashbreadwait. Smilewelcomecashbreadwait. Smilewelcome answer a question cashbreadwait. Smilewelcomecashbreadwait. Smilewelcomecashbreadwait.

Working the register gets monotonous. Marinette's apron is being picked apart as she rests her head on her hand. She might need to sew a new one soon. The bakery was frequented by her friends, it would have to be stylish. A white base would hide flour easily, pink trim… Stark white might be a little too much, though. Maybe an off-white or a creamy color?

The bell over the door tinkled. Smile. Marinette shifted off her arm and prepared her cheeriest smile, with just the right amount of teeth. Welcome. "Hi! Welcome to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery! What can I ge-eeep!" Adrien's face went from content to slightly worried.

"Geep?"

"I-uh, Adrien! Wh-wh-what are you d-doing here?" _There goes all I gained from Chat's advice._

"Uh… Buying bread."

"Ioh, right this is a, uh, bakery. Right. We have bread." ' _We have bread'? Oh my god I hope the ovens explode and kill me._ "A-are you looking for a-anything in particular?" Adrien looked at the contents of the shop.

"Not really. My father and I are cooking tonight, and it's really my first time. Do you have any suggestions?" Bread, something that Marinette could talk about for hours. She took a breath.

"Well it would matter on what you are cooking. If it's some french dishes or something with some sauce, you'd obviously want a baguette. You can go with the French recipe here, or the Italian Filone here. If you want something a little more interesting, maybe Bastone? It's more Italian, but it has sesame seeds on the top and is a little sweeter, it's this one here. If you're looking for something for a snack or breakfast, this Brioche would do great. Either that or a roll of some sort, maybe a croissant or Pain Brie over here. If you're thinking more substance to your bread is what you want, this Fougasse would do excellent. It has a few cheeses melted on and in it, so if you warm it up in an oven it is just mmm… Uhm, if the meal is more Italian, we have garlic bread over here. The Fougasse before would also do really well. If you are looking for something more… showy and aesthetic, these leaf-looking ones are Pain d'Epi and this called Zopf. It's more German, but it is more used for dessert and breakfast. There is Faluche here, but that is more for a snack or breakfast as well. Finally, we have some boring ones, Pain de Campagne is a sourdough, Pain de Mie is more of a sandwich bread but a little sweeter, and lastly, the Boule here is just your everyday bread." She took breathed out, and looked up at Adrien. His surprised but jovial green eyes and small, calming smile met her tense features. She gulped.

"Wow."

"I-i-uh, so, what are you making?"

"I'm not sure!" He smiled wider, drawing out an internal sigh from Marinette, "My father didn't tell me, I just told him I would get the bread. I had heard that the Dupain-Cheng bakery was renowned across Paris, so I had to see." He give a quick wink and another grin, prompting the heat on Marinette's face to double.

"I-I-I see… W-what are you thinking then?"

"Hmm… Let's go with half a dozen croissants, two baguettes, one of the Bastone's, two of the Fougasse…" Marinette swore Adrien's chest pocket moved, "Better make it three Fougasse, two of the Pain d'Epi, one Zoph, and one Boule. That should cover any possibility and leave some extra for the kitchen staff." Marnette kept pulling out bags, looking more and more surprised with each selection.

"Uh… A-Adrien, these are, uhm, pretty expensive…"

"Then thank goodness the Gabriel Agreste brand is paying for it, and not me. Can I swipe my card here?"

"Uh, y-yeah. Sign there. H-how are you going to carry all these?" Adrien motioned at the door and a monster of a man came in. Marinette had seen "Gorilla" before, but never this close. His shadow could block out the sun. Gorilla picked up all the bags in one swoop, and walked out of the shop. Marinette's jaw was stuck open.

"Yeah he has that effect on people. Anyways, thank you very much, Marinette, I'll see you on monday, alright?"

"Oh, y-yeah!"

"I hope you've been doing your research for that project!"

"Oh, merde."

XXXXXXXXXXX (i had to go into a bakery for this. the lengths i go for my work)

A soft tune wafted lazily out of the crack the door left open. A smooth man's voice flowed on top of a few strings and brass pieces, it was English, but Adrien couldn't understand a few words of it. It sure sounded showy. He took in a breath and pushed in the door to the kitchen. Gabriel's back was turned, looking at a book on the counter and swaying slowly to the music. Adrien set the bags of bread on the counter silently, and watched. The music picked up and the man stopped singing. Gabriel spun around, stopping to stare straight at Adrien. They both blinked as the song continued.

"Frank Sinatra."

"What?"

"It's Frank Sinatra. Fly Me to the Moon. Long before your time." He turned back to the book as the song faded out. "Before my time, too."

"It's English. I couldn't understand a bit of it."

"American. Would you like an explanation?" Gabriel turned on the sink and washed his hands, then some greens.

"Sure."

"It's about the feeling you get in love. How a touch or a kiss can send you flying. In a good way. Could you go get some wine? A red, preferably before 1990. Something to go with red meat." Adrien walked to the cellar, and lifted up his shirt.

"Plagg. Go ahead and wait in my room. I promise I'll save you a full plate of whatever we make."

"What? The preparation is half the enjoyment!"

"You either get preparation or food."

"Okay, bye."

The stairs down beneath the mansion get colder with every step. The cellar is likely older than the house itself, certainly older than the Agreste's owning it. Towards the back are the wines. To either side lie old relics under sheets. Adrien had been down here only a few he was young, he had no reason to get scared by the darkness and strange shapes, and now he had no reason to get alcohol.

A Burgundy, red. Pinot Noir grapes. It would go nicely with red meat, Adrien thought. He hoped. He tucked it under his arm and went back up the steps. The music had changed to classical, a little bit more intense. A sizzling came up as he approached the door.

"Two glasses, Adrien. Half of cooking is getting tipsy."

XXXXXXXXXXX (time to get fuckin smashed)

A loud laugh woke Plagg up. He shook his head. His belly was empty, but his mind was not. Another bout of chuckles. Someone was enjoy themselves. Plagg got up and floated down to the kitchen door. It was late, surely. Past 11. And yet there were the Agreste's, still eating and drinking. Plagg counted one empty wine bottle and a second well on the way. A powerful liver was something he looked for in potential Chat Noirs.

"And then your mother told the man, 'And yes! I have a second one in his pants!'" Adrien snorted a few times and wiped his eyes, they both sighed together.

"So I'm the right age for those jokes, then?" Gabriel smirked.

"You mother would have been telling them to you years ago. She favored humor above all. She would probably remember many more than I do." The warmth in the room faded.

"What… What actually happened to her?"

"You know the story, or at least what there is. She changed, then disappeared. Vanished without a trace."

"I always assumed you were hiding the truth from me because I was young." Gabriel's mouth twitched.

"Mmm. If there was a bigger story, I would likely hide it. You're plenty old now. Maybe you'll find out what actually happened to her. Go on an adventure to find her."

"Actually, speaking of adventure…"

"You got me drunk for a purpose, didn't you?"

"It kind of just happened. In August, I would like to go on a trip to Nice with a few friends. Nino, who you know, Marinette the baker, of these breads actually, and the winner of the hat competition at school a year back, and Alya, who created the Ladyblog and is… kind of dating Nino?"

"Kind of?"

"In my generation, dating is a lot more loose and undecided. A couple can have children and sleep together every night and still consider themselves just friends. It's not unheard of, at the least."

"I hope you are not thinking of doing that yourself."

"Oh, Jesus no! I can't even think of raising a child without a marriage."

"You have the Agreste name to continue, if it comes to it, it may not be your first choice."

"Father, please stop. I don't need the Birds and the Bees talk. I am a grown man."

"A grown man… You did grow up fast. If this Alya is spoken for, what about this Marinette? Is she someone of interest?"

"Uh… Not particularly? She is a good friend of mine, but she is a little weird around me. Doesn't talk much, but I think she is opening up more recently. I feel like I did something wrong to her, but I don't know what." Gabriel softly chuckled.

"Reminds me of when I first fell for your mother. She was… much more outgoing than I was. I could barely stammer out a few words to her. She gave me her number and disappeared, but I was always too nervous to call. She ended up finding me again and taking me out right then and there."

"Wait, am I like mother here, or you?"

"Maybe a little bit of both. Keep an open mind and open eyes. I'll think about the Nice trip." Gabriel looked at the clock, "My, it has gotten late. Help me clean up, would you?" Plagg floated away from the door and floated back. _Adrien had better have my food soon._

XXXXXXXXXXX (i'm not going to put unnecessary authors notes anymore)

Arien slumped down on his bed. Maybe he had drank a little too much. His head swam a little, but it wasn't to the point that his dinner was likely to come up. A fuzzy black dot moved in front of his vision. He reached up to poke it. It was very soft.

"Stop poking me, I'm trying to talk to you!" It was very noisy.

"What is it, Plagg?" He kept poking the fuzzy dot.

"It's about your mother." Adrien bolted upright and nearly hit Plagg with his forehead. His mind slowly followed his head.

"Mmmwhaat?"

"Oh god I can smell you from here. Whenever you father talked about her, he got this look in her eyes. Especially when you asked about her disappearance. I've seen it many times before in the lives of Chat Noirs. That look is guil-"

"Plagg you smell funny." Adrien sniffed, "And whut, my dad killed my mom? Have you seen pops? He couldn't hurt a moth if it'as flutterin' in'es face. Maybe he did sommin to make'er run away. Don worry about it, Plagg." Adrien spit a little, making Plagg wipe his face.

"Fine. Go to sleep, grapebreath." Plagg whacked into Adrien's forehead, sending him plopping on his pillow. He went out like a light.

XXXXXXXXXXX (i lied)

It was too dark. Adrien tried to put his hand in front of his face, but he just couldn't see it. He couldn't feel it. Was he still in bed? He tried to get up, but it felt like he was already standing. His head hurt, and his head didn't hurt. It was like his head was far away, like it was someone else's. His heart stabbed him with every beat, and his heart was a still silence. Every inch of him was in agony, and he felt no pain.

A dot of red dripped into his vision. He blinked, trying to focus on it. Another dot fell next to it. He looked up, seeing black. Something moved, seemingly mist or liquid. The background lightened and it began to take shape. He could feel it. Was it him? His arm? He tried to move it and it followed his commands, but it was stuck. He looked down his arm to his hand, only to find it hidden in pool of red. He looked for his other arm, It was holding black. He moved his fingers, jumping when he heard a whimper. He looked up again, and there was his love. The torn mask barely hiding her tears and fear. She had cuts all over her.

He took a step back, and looked at her again. He held her by her neck, her hand lightly on his forearm. Her other arm was laying limp. His left hand. The pool of red. It was her. The pain in his body and mind began to fade. He was killing Ladybug. He let go of her and pulled his hands back, stepping back as she slumped to the ground with a gasp. She looked up at him, and gave a small smile.

"A-Adrien?" His jaw trembled.

"D-Did I… Wh...a...at ha…"

"No… No, come here." He took another step back and looked at his hands. They were monstrous, hellish claws, dripping with blood. His claws, her blood. He blinked, his vision becoming watery. His green irises flickered up to Ladybug. She stared right through him, her blood reaching his feet.

"N… No, I did… I didn't mean…" He took a step towards her, and looked at his hands again. They were no longer black, they were his. His soft palms, his slender fingers, his ring. Her blood.

His eyes shot up, face to face with Ladybug. His breath was ragged as she brought her hands slowly his his face. "You never could do your job right." Her hands twisted.

Adrien woke up with a long gasp and a bout of coughing. His eyes were wide and his breaths were giant and quick. He was covered in sweat, and a stream came from each eye. He stared at his hands. His, and clean. His ring glinted and Plagg floated into view.

"Adrien? What happened?"

"I-b… Just a… Bad dream?" Adrien gulped and took his ring in his fingers.

"Wait, Adrien what are y-"

"Goodbye Plagg."


	6. Chapter 6: Therapals

"Dude, that would be such a Nice trip."

"Nino… Ni-noooooooooooo. That pun only works in English and this is breaking the fourth wall."

"Hey, sorry you can't keep up with my jokes, bro."

"I'm not going to take that insult Italian down."

"What?"

"Italian? Laying? It wasn't that great."

"Nah, it was okay. Nice gets used up after about two, so, you did what you could. Anyway, when are we leaving?"

"No clue. My Father hasn't even exactly said yes yet."

"Screw your old man! Let's just go ourselves!"

"Nino, all of my money is in a trust fund until I'm 18. Unless your DJing is getting you cash out the wazoo, we are going to be able to go about 4 blocks."

"WELL DUDE, make that 5 blocks, I made 20 bucks on a gig a few days ago."

"Oh man, we can go all the way to the gas station! But, I'm planning on getting a little bit of all that money I have saved up with my Father's permission, or getting him to pay for it entirely."

"Have you tried calling him Dad?"

"Wh- Uh no?"

"It's certainly more endearing. Maybe it'll get him to say yes?"

"I'll try it. But, we also need to figure out how to ask Alya and Marinette."

"Let's be really blunt! Girls love blunt."

"I don't thi-"

"Who has more experience in this matter, Dude?"

"You have like five minutes of experience over my zero."

"I still win."

"We're asking them to come with us on a week long trip pretty far away. And, to be frank, we aren't all that close."

"Oh, come on! You're plenty close, bro. Close to our hearts."

"Like a deadly tumor or like a metaphor?"

"Kinda both. Anyways, until we're for certain going, Alya and Marinette don't need to know a thing." Adrien's eyes widened and he cleared his throat, "Because I would bet against Papagreste agreeing to let his only heir go on a trip to Nice." Adrien cleared his throat again and raised his eyebrows, "Especially with his incredibly handsome best friend and two cute gals comin along for the ride." Adrien sighed, "Wait… Clearing your throat, makin your eyes big, wigglin your eyebrows… Those are like signs that you are trying to signal me. What is it boy, did Timmy fall down the well again?"

"What? No, look behind you." Nino turned his head to look behind him to see Alya smirking and Marinette looking worried. He faced Adrien again.

"Hmm. Fuck dude."

"I'd say." The teacher walked in the class behind the girls. Alya pushed a finger into Nino's chest.

"We're gonna be talking about this again, Mr. Incredibly Handsome Best Friend."

"Your words." Nino shrugged.

XXXXXXXXXXX (i fucking love writing nino lemme tell you)

"Man, Austria-Hungary was kind of a dick."

"A dick that had their Archduke murdered by terrorists."

"Still a dick."

"Germany didn't even want to get into the war. They asked France and Russia nicely to not go to war, and yet they were still dragged into it."

"Knock Knock, get the door, it's War. Austria-Hungary wants everyone to try this hot new war from Serbia."

"'Please try this war' said Austria-Hungary."

"No."

"No."

"No." Said everbody.

"'Ttttrrryyyy iiiittt!"

"No…"

"No…"

"No…"

"Said everybody, quieter this time. And so the war was put into place and all the deaths that came with it."

"So, what was that about the trip at the beginning of class?" Alya grinned smugly at Nino.

"I'm not going to be able to convince you to butt out of it, am I?"

"Nope!"

"Well… My boy Adrien here has secured us a one week trip to the grand mediterranean port of Nice." Adrien cleared his throat, "Alright, almost secured. Two rooms, or one, mattering on how it goes…" Nino caught an elbow in the ribs, "Ah! And, some of the best beaches, and best weather, this country has to offer. Plus, easy runs to ITALIA, the home place of fashion, pizza, and speaking with one's hands. So, we have something for Marinette, Myself, and Alya's favorite past time." Alya went to hit Nino's arm but stopped, "It'll just prove me right, won't it?" Alya hit him.

"So… As Nino said… I was going to invite you guys closer to the end of school, since I sure wouldn't want to go with a guy I barely know to a place I've never been."

"Barely know you? Adrien we've been in the same class for three years. And when you're happy you wear your heart on your sleeve. Let's go, man!" Alya was looking pumped, but Marinette was seemingly lost.

"Marinette? You can be blunt if you'd like." Marinette jumped and blinked at Adrien's voice. She was most definitely not thinking about having Adrien sleeping and being only one wall away. Or about spending time with Adrien, shirtless and in swim trunks without a doubt, on a beach. Or walking and shopping in Italy for an entire day with Adrien by her side. Just the countless possibilities of romantic shenanigans had nearly forced her into a coma.

"I-D- UH, I um, Hmm? W-what?" Adrien softly smiled, Marinette softly died.

"Would you be comfortable coming to Nice with me?" _With_ _ME_ _? What are you trying to do, young man, make me die of blood loss through my cheeks? Okay, I am Ladybug. I am Ladybug. I am Ladybug. Confidence, certainty, compassion._

"Uhm. Yeah! A-As long as you don't try to break into our room." _AS LONG AS YOU DON'T BREAK INTO OUR ROOM? MARINETTE. I'd probably be in his room already before he even had the thought of knocking on our door._ Adrien's smile grew.

"Oooh, no promises. Nino might kick me out, and then where would I go? I'd have to borrow your floor." _No you can just climb in with me. MARINETTE. NO. Thank god I'm good at keeping things in my mind._ Alya butted in.

"Well then pay him off or bring extra blankets. Our room will not be allowing any Y chromosomes passed that door. But hey, tell us when you get it all cemented out. We'll start buying swimsuits then." She winked and hauled Marinette off.

"Well, that went better than I thought it would. Now all I have to do is get my Father to say yes. Then we will be in tip top sh- Nino? Nino? Nino, if you leave your mouth open like that you're going to catch a fly." Nino's mouth snapped shut.

"Uh, sorry."

"Alya in a swimsuit?"

"Alya in a swimsuit."

XXXXXXXXXXX (i love this nino kid. so much fun.)

Adrien turned the ring over in his hands. The dream played back in segments from the night before. He couldn't look down, or else he swear he would see her blood on his hands. He had spent a good 14 hours free of being a superhero. But every freedom was just another burden. Without Chat Noir, Paris would be burdened. Without Chat Noir, Ladybug would be burdened. Without Chat Noir, Adrien would be burdened. There must be a Chat Noir. But… It couldn't be him. Not anymore.

If Plagg found another person, Adrien could mentor them, right? He could make training regimens for them. Leaping and sprinting in the morning to loosen up the muscles, then fencing with the baton, then learning in the afternoon. How to pun, how to throw yourself in the way of attacks, how to flirt, how to be the heartthrob of Paris. What if Plagg chose a girl? It would be like having a little sister! Or, if she was older, having an older sister. Both would be pretty good. Both would be able to learn from him.

But would it be enough? Would just his words and his tips be enough to help them survive? His instinct and his experience was what kept him alive. That, and Ladybug herself. He reached down and touched his last wound on his abdomen. He was getting closer and closer to his end. How would someone else fare? If he gave it up, would it be in the hands of another person for just a sole fight?

What about Ladybug? If the next Chat Noir wasn't as good as him, she may but thrown into danger. That is exactly what he was trying to avoid by abdicating his position.

He looked down at the ring, consciously avoiding his hands. He couldn't make this decision himself. He needed help. Plagg was too blunt. Nino couldn't know. Alya couldn't either. Marinette would likely be excellent, but he can't really talk about being a superhero to her. Chloe is a no, Gabriel is a no, Nathalie is a no. He could only talk about this to the object of the dream. He sighed and slipped on the ring. Plagg came sailing out.

"ADRIEN WAIT N- Oh. You did it. And it's tomorrow."

"Yeah… Sorry Plagg."

"I know I never taught you proper manners regarding us Kwami's, but still. That was terribly rude. Just cut me off in the middle of a sentence."

"Plagg. I don't… Not right now." Plagg opened and closed his mouth at his tone.

"I… I'm glad you put me back on, Adrien." Adrien blinked and looked up at him.

"Mm. Claws out, Plagg."

XXXXXXXXXXX (yet another unnecessary authors note for the sake of tradition)

He had tried to put it off. He fought himself for every step. Every second that ticked by tore him apart. He walked on. Every gap in the rooftops gave him three choices. He could go across to do what he needed, go back to do what he wanted, or go down to do what he felt. But he was here. There she was, unaware of him. She was leaning against a wall, overlooking a view he had seen time and time again. Could he do it?

 _How long is Chat going to stand there?_ Ladybug listened intently for the telltale taps that told of his arrival. She enjoyed the view. Chat would walk across the roof when he was ready. It was a sunny afternoon, early summer, a light breeze from the West. Ladybug could enjoy this for some time. But, why was Chat still hanging back?

He couldn't do it. He crumbled. He took the first step knowingly, but the next was without him. The one after left him far behind. His arms wrapped around her and he buried his face in her hair. His eyes were open and pouring. He couldn't help himself. He needed someone else. He needed her.

Her initial shock faded. Chat had never been like this, at least not this extreme. She brought a hand up to rest on his forearm and rubbed it soothingly. She could feel him shake with every breath. Every tear that landed in her hair she was painfully aware of. If it was what he needed, she would give him the world.

The sun began to set. Neither of them had moved. Chat had long since ran out of tears. He breathed shallowly and slowly.

"Thank you."

"Any time, Chat. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I need to."

"You don't need to. If it will benefit you and you want to do it, then do it." Chat stayed silent for a while.

"Are you busy?"

"Very busy. My partner wants to talk to me and they just spent a good hour or so crying into my hair." Chat breathed and cracked a grin.

"I'm going to sit down then."

"Thank goodness. My legs were threatening to give way."

XXXXXXXXXXX (i feel like it's an obligation now)

"Alright. So last night I had a dream… Or nightmare. I'm not sure what the line is. But, I like… Couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything either. Just a… big thing of black. Then the black shifted and like my arm came out of it." Chat lifted his left arm, "But it wasn't like my arm it was… Darker… Bigger… Scarier. There was like these drops of red. I couldn't tell what they were… Everything was unfocused. Then I realized my arm wouldn't move. It was stuck in a big pool of red. I looked to my other arm and it was holding a neck and… It… Uh… It was yours. I was choking you. My fingers were these long claws… and my left hand was stabbing you. That was the pool of red. I-It was you. I was killing you." Chat stopped for a second and his eyes found the tears again. Ladybug wrapped an arm around his head and pulled him to her shoulder.

"Do you want to stop?"

"Gotta get through it… So… I-I took a step back and you moved and… you said my name, except, my real name. Not Chat Noir. And so I let go of you and you s-slumped to the ground and…" Chat drew in a breath, "And then you just wanted me to come to you you were so kind and you d-didn't blame me you just wanted to m-make sure I was okay, and then I looked down and my hands w-were just covered in your blood, these monstrous claws, an absolute abomination. They were like spears and they scared the shit out of me and I haven't been able to look at my hands since because then you d-d-died and I-I killed you and I looked back down a-and they were my hands… my actual hands with my paleness and my ring and my fingernails and it was mine it just really scared me… T-then I looked b-back up and you were there. Your dead eyes just stared into my soul and you just reached up to me and said 'You never could do your job right' and that really f-fucked me up… and then you s-snapped my neck I guess… I woke up then. And I…" Chat hesitated.

"You can stop anywhere you want to."

"I need to keep going… And so I took off my ring. The dream or nightmare really scared me and I… I didn't think I was able to be Chat Noir anymore. I could never bring myself to hurt you on purpose… Let alone kill you. And with all the times that I have been made to attack you, it just… It feels like you would be better off without me."

"Let me stop you right there," Ladybug hugged him tighter, "I would get my ass kicked from here to Moscow twice weekly. You save my life as much as I save yours. You are invaluable to me, Chat Noir. I would trade you for the world only because you are contained in the world and I would get a second you with the world."

"It still really scared me."

"Do you want to stay here for a little while?"

"Yes please."

"Alright."


	7. Chapter 7: Sugar Father

"And then the pillow opened up it's mouth and chomped down on my hand."

"Woah."

"Yeah it was a really scary dream for 6 year old me."

"Your dreams a lot scarier than mine."

"Uh, being a bully was your worst one."

"Hey, I woke up crying. It was scary for me."

"I would have it no other way, My Lady. It shows your perfect heart."

"Eh… I'm not so pure any more. I've told you, I've caused a few Akumas."

"Yes, but you realize your mistakes. You are only a high schooler. No one can expect perfection."

"Mmmm, most of Paris would want to disagree."

"Maybe so, but, in the end, it always works out."

"Or at least it has so far."

"And it will continue to be so. You just essentially saved my life. In a weird, abstract, metaphorical way that'll get way too much into my normal life. You are a stick in the mud when it comes to that."

"It won't be of any assistance in a fight. What if I like yell out 'JACQUE' or whatever your actual name is. Please don't tell me I got it right."

"You didn't. But think about it, we could be friends without me having to wear a skintight leather catsuit."

"Maybe I like you best in the skintight leather catsuit."

"Ooooh, my Lady…"

"Nooooope."

"If that is what y-"

"Mmm mmm."

"-ou're in to then I can cert-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"-ainly provide for you."

"Does this conversation need to happen?"

"It may be important in our future, Madame."

"I can see it now 'Chat Noir taken to court'."

"You wound me. Would you tell me if I ever step over a line?"

"What, don't you have any of your own?"

"Miss, I am like a destitute cocaine addict."

"W-what…?"

"I have no lines." Ladybug kept her confused face for a moment, "Get it? Lines? Like cocaine and conversational boundaries?"

"Oh my god. I'm leaving. I supported you through your dream and you repay me with this?"

"You would have me no other way, My Lady."

"Good night, Chaton." Chat's ears perked up as Ladybug swung away.

"Good night, Mon Amour." He said softly.

XXXXXXXXXXX (not going to lie i did actually have a dream where my couch pillow bit my hand. it was really scary.)

Adrien's transformation had scarcely released by the time Nathalie had opened the door. Close calls were par for the course. Adrien gave her a big unsuspicious smile and acted like she had caught him in the middle of pacing.

"What can I do for you, Nathalie?"

"Your father would like to speak with you."

"Any clues as to what we will be talking about?"

"You will find out in the course of the conversation." Nathalie left and closed the door behind her. The Agreste family had a policy of closing doors. That, and buying thick soundproof ones. Adrien let Plagg settle in his breast pocket and went down the hall. A gentle rap and he opened the large double doors.

"You wanted to talk to me, Father?"

"Yes, Adrien, come in." Adrien took a few steps into the room, "I have decided on your trip during the summer."

"Before we talk about this, may I make a few points?"

"Absolutely not."

"But, Father, you haven't heard my side of this."

"I do not need to. Your idea of a trip to Nice is not happening. No son of mine is going to rent a unknown hotel with three acquaintances."

"They aren't acqu-"

"Do you know how dangerous that is? The Agreste name is well known. You are worth quite a bit. A few men with a good plan and a gun could cost the Agreste family a life or our fortune."

"Father, if you would just-"

"That is why I have decided to put you up in a rental that a partner of mine owns in the area."

"Fath-thwhat?"

"You cannot trust hotel staff. I learned that the hard way. So, only a handful of people will know you are there. Plus, the home itself has electronic security, hardwired to the local police. If something trips the alarm, expect the house to be surrounded in less than six minutes."

"I-"

"The partner has a bit of a… dubious background, so the house itself is very secure. Most of the windows are bulletproof, the gate would take a bulldozer an hour to open, a panic room, extremely secure locks… The works. The location is excellent. Near a few beaches, and in a more… Exclusive area of the Nice region. It should suit you nicely."

"Wait, so you are letting me go?"

"Yes I am. You have been very diligent recently, both in studies and modeling. You deserve a reward in the way of time off. A Nice vacation would do that perfectly. Nathalie is already figuring out your schedule. You will have 8 days total in the beginning of August. How you use them is up to you."

"Father! Thank you!" Adrien's smile was splitting his face.

"And I am no fool. I will transfer some of your saved funds, but you will also be using one of our Credit Cards. I've raised you to have good tastes, if there is not a big bill by the end of August, I will be disappointed."

"I- I am speechless, Father. Thank you."

"Of course you will have to do a lot of work for the Partner's line in Italy this coming fall."

"Ah. It is well worth it."

"I also hope you are able to procure transportation to there."

"What?"

XXXXXXXXXXX (thanks dad)

"HEY GALS, GUESS WHO IS GOING TO NICE?"

"Us?"

"YOU GUESSED IT.

"So your dad said yes?"

"Yeah! All I have to do is work for his partner a little bit in October."

"Oh excellent!"

"Adrien, dude, tell 'em the best part…"

"Uhm… He got us a house through a friend?"

"A house?"

"More like a small mansion."

"It is INCREDIBLE, dudes. It is right in the middle of that little peninsula to the east of Nice. We can walk to any of the beaches around there. There is a FAN-TASTic one right by it. Plus, the place is like a fortress! If the Italians decided to invade, we could starve them out. AND THAT WASN'T EVEN THE BEST PART! Adrien, come on. Stop bein modest with us, dude."

"Uh, my Father is paying our way. He is expecting and wanting a big bill."

"Think of all the things we COULD PULL! WE CAN EAT LIKE KINGS! And queens, but I'm playing off the stereotype that men are big, sloppy, and eat a lot."

"So you're already royalty in that aspect, huh?"

"A-Adrien, is this really okay? You h-have to work for our sake…"

"It is way more than okay! I get to spend time with my friends! On vacation! It would be worth it if I had to lose an arm and a leg! Thankfully I do not have to do that. Just a little bit of time."

"There has to be more of a catch than that."

"Well…" Everyone turned to look at Adrien.

"Do we have to sacrifice our lives to the Agreste blood altar?"

"What? No."

"Become political assassins for the Agreste name?"

"Why are you guys saying this?"

"B-become servants for the, uh, Agreste household?"

"Yes, you hit it right on the head, Marinette. You'll have to help me bathe." Marinette turned a brighter shade of red, "I'm kidding. We have to get there on our own."

"That's the catch? You've got to be hiding something more from us. I have a minivan and my license."

"And I've got tunes for… How long are we looking at, Alya?"

"Eh, 8-9 hours give or take." Alya scrolled on her phone, looking at the best routes, "Knowing how much I speed, let's call it 8."

"A-and I can make us food for the trip."

"Oh my god, dude, Marinette you absolute goddess. Please bring that platter you made last month. It made my stomach cry like it was giving its daughter away for marriage."

"Marinette, I love you. So glad you are my best friend. Please bring those incredible tarts your dad makes. They kill me. In a good way." Marinette giggled and looked at Adrien.

"Uhm… Any r-requests from you, Adrien?" Adrien smiled gently.

"Just you being there will be enough for me." Alya and Nino stared at him as Marinette's cheeks caught fire. _Oh merde, I channeled too much Chat Noir._ The teacher arrived, luckily for Marinette's blood flow, and everyone sat down.

"You are too much for that poor girl, Dude."

XXXXXXXXXXX (i need to ask you guys about our humor. Is this funny? Like, at all?)

"Then when we pass Dijon, then it will switch into Uppermost. Daft Punk is nice, but after Dijon it's a lot of farms, and Alya might park us in a ditch if the music is too repetitive. Then we'll throw in a dash of Ninth Parallel here and there… Maybe some MitiS, maybe some Coyote Kisses… Then Lyon, we'll put some Deadmou5 on… Then a few tracks of Jagged Stone. For you guys, not for me…"

"You had better keep it quiet. The Auxiliary cable is three meters long, so Marinette will be my Copilot."

"I thought Jesus was your copilot."

"Not anymore, Mari. Not since he wanted me to spend every Sunday with him and not have sex till marriage. I have things, and people, to do!"

"Oookay. But, Nino, Alya, are we far enough away from School so I can scream? And you promise you won't tell Adrien?" Two hands raised.

"I promise."

"I promise. And yes, we are."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I am going on a trip! With Adrien! To beaches! And sun! And fun! Oh my god he's going to be sleeping mere meters from me. I can see him right when he wakes up! Willingly! With his consent! Or, maybe not right when he wakes up. Like when he steps out of his door. And I can cook for him! And then we'll go on romantic dates… He'll take my hand and we'll walk the moonlit beaches… Then he'll hold me tightly, yet lovingly, and whisper… 'Marinette'" Marinette made her voice deeper, "'I had never seen you like this before. Would you do me the honor of becoming my bride?' And then i'll say yes and we'll have a spring wedding right in between our birthdays when all the flowers are blooming, or maybe right after his birthday. Maybe in May, since that is when Irises bloom." Alya grabbed Marinette's hand and guided her away from a pole she would have pranced into, "And think about this trip! We'll go to beaches… And restaurants… And… Beaches… ALYA!" She nearly yelled in her friend's face, her eyes wide.

"Yyyeeesss, Marinette?"

"I don't have a swimsuit. I got my last one five years ago!"

"Oh. Well… You've certainly grown since then." Nino sighed.

"Well then, I'm not down for making a shopping montage to some Journey that would rival the breakfast club. See you all tomorrow, dudes."

"Bye Nino!"

"Later, Loser."

"Alya let me borrow one of yours."

"Marinette, don't hate me, but you and your twin sister could fit in my clothes."

"Then, are you free this weekend? I neeeeed your help, Alya!"

"I suppose I could be. Unless Hawkmoth has other plans." A rumble shook the ground. "So, you know that saying, 'Speak of the Devil and he shall come'? It is feeling pretty applicable right now."

"Okay, so, you're going to run towards it, and I'm going to run away from it. Have fun, please stay safe, Alya."

"Safety is the middle name that I changed to Danger!" Alya dashed away.

"Alya Danger Cesaire. Alya Safety Cesaire. Neither of them sound that great. Well, Tikki, I suppose it's our turn. Spots on."

"So enthusiastic! Here we go!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (because this humorous stuff makes me smile so i want to know how it makes you guys feel.)

"Get it? Like a fart noise?"

BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTT

"Tough crowd, huh?" With a swift blast of air, Chat Noir was sent sailing into the arms of Ladybug.

"Glad you could drop by, Chat."

"I really needed a pick-me-up."

"Oh my god. What are we dealing with?" Ladybug set Chat down on the roof.

"Trumpet player. He is real reckless with that tooter, so I'm betting it isn't where the Akuma is. Maybe that necklace? It looks kind of out of place."

"I actually want to get home soon. I've got some preparation to do. Lucky Charm!" A Ladybug themed slingshot drifted into her hands.

"What are you going to do, relive your days as a 11 year old delinquent?"

"Wish it was bigger so I could launch you, Chat. Go fight him for a moment while I think."

"I need a raise." Chat ran forward only to receive a toot and a throw back. "What a pain in the brass."

"Chat, how willing are you to break a bit of that hotel?"

"That's a Bourgeois hotel, right? They can afford it."

"Excellent. Get him on the street in front of it."

"As you wish, My Lady." Chat got up and ran again, serpentining to make himself a harder target. As he drew closer, the he narrowly dodged the blasts. The Trumpeteer jumped in the air to play a tune and smash Chat into the ground. He walked up and aimed the instrument at him again.

"Any last words?"

"I sure am trom-boned." The Trumpeteer stopped.

"THIS. IS. A. TRRRUUMMMPPPEEEETTT!" Chat was already leaping off the roof to the street below, prompting the villain to follow.

On the street, waves of air shattered windows and threw cars. Chat Noir leaped and crawled to barely evade death. Ladybug's plan was coming too slowly. A glimpse of red on the roof behind the Tootler raised Chat's spirits. She motioned to draw him further down the street. _Okay miss, I am barely living as it is._ He extended his baton to flip a car onto the Trumpeteer, only to have it ripped apart in a loud blast of air. Chat moved down the street in a scamper. Ladybug leaped across the roof and slid into a stance, aiming at the hotel.

"CHAT! ATTACK FROM ABOVE!" Chat leaped into the air, adding to his speed with his baton, in the blink of an eye. His Lady had a plan. He would give his all to make it come to fruition.

Chat heard a giant crack. Something sped by his face, and he began to fall towards the Trumpeteer. He was aiming up at him. Inhaling. Getting ready to blast Chat to Jupiter. _Mewpiter. I'll have to save that one._ Then a whooshing sound. The Trumpeteer's eyes bugged out. A slight shadow covered the area. Chat looked up and saw a giant mass of water catching up to him.

"Meoh fuck."

XXXXXXXXXXX (get meow-tta here)

"Who puts a pool on the fourth story?"

"At least you were right about the necklace."

"Who throws their CAT THEMED PARTNER INTO A FALLING POOL?"

"I said I was sorry. It was the only way I saw it would work."

"And how much strength did it take to blast through to an indoor pool!?"

"Uh… All of it? That hole is going to be pricey to repair."

"You could take, like, all the golds in Olympic weight lifting. And my heart. You could take my heart. You have taken my heart. You have it."

"Did it come with a receipt?"

"MON DIEU. That was good."

"I have to go, Chat. Going to detransform soon. Try and dry off in the sun. Talk to you later!"

"Yeah, yeah. See you around, My Lady."

As Ladybug jumped away, Chat Noir shivered. He'd need something warm and a towel soon. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something familiar. A young lady just jumping to get a scoop.

"Alright, fine, Alya. You get three questions." Alya ran up.

"Okay, okay, Alya Cesaire, here with world-renowned superhero and Loverboy extraordinaire, Chat Noir!"

"Thanks for the compliments."

"So, Chat Noir, first question, same as ever, what is your real name?"

"I like 'Sir' the most. Really suits me. Or 'Master'."

"Oooh. Alright, second question, are you any closer to catching Hawkmoth?"

"Wooo… I like to think that every passing day we are one day closer to catching Hawkmoth. But if you mean to ask if we have any distinctive leads from our last big investigation a year ago. Just suspicion and false hopes. We'll find him eventually, though. Good will always win out."

"I believe it. And lastly, the Ladyblog question of the week. What is your favorite thing about Ladybug?"

Chat whistled. Did he want to go with appearance? Her crystal blue eyes that could set his heart aflame from a mile away? Her infectious smile that made him feel at home? Her silky black hair that waved so nicely in the wind? Or maybe her personality. Her perfect responses to his jests. Her compassion to those that were downtrodden. Her stout refusal to back down in the face of a challenge. Her unwavering adherence to protecting Paris. Or, something more abstract? The way she fits perfectly with him? The future he imagines with her? His love?

"Chat?"

"Oh, uh." _Something charming. She might see this._ "It might not count, but… All of her. From the tips of her toes to the very top hairs on her head. Outside the mask and inside of it. My favorite thing about Ladybug is that she is who she is. And she is who I love." He said with a soft smile, "And there goes your three questions! Until next time, Alya, and until next time, Paris!"

He used his baton to raise himself to a roof amidst protests from Alya. He liked Alya, but she was too good at her job to stay around for long. At least as Chat Noir. She had gotten really close to finding out about half a year ago. He wore a jacket unthinking, and Alya traced it back to Adrien. Chat had to go around and nab a few jackets to lead her off the trail. A few notes written with his left hand and giant apologies later, and he was in the clear. _God I could use a jacket right now._

XXXXXXXXXXX (Alya and Chat/Adrien is the best goddamn brotp i will fight all of you)

He was shivering. He never had good body heat. He needed something warm to drink, eat, and wear. A heavenly scent drifted to him. There. On that terrace. A mug of tea and some fresh croissants? What a polite gift. Surely this was here for Chat Noir, no? He dropped, with only a minor tumble, to the terrace and embraced the table his gracious offerings were placed upon. He grasped one of the croissants and lifted it, thanking whatever higher powers existed for this moment.

"CHAT NOIR. NO." His head swiveled to a very angry face. Chat's cream vision cleared, and Marinette was looking mildly disappointed at him. He looked at the croissant, then back at her, and at the croissant again. With a shiver, he gave her a pleading look. "Ugh, fine I'll go get some more. You can have those."

"Oh, Princess, you are marvelous."

"Drop the Princess, Mister."

"Yes Ma'am." This was a side to Marinette that he had never seen. It was new, but still oddly familiar. It was welcoming and warm, like the Marinette that Adrien had seen from afar. Was she only the self he knew to him? What had Adrien done to her?

"Chat, can you grab the tray?" He hopped up and strode over to the ladder to lift a second tray of croissants up and set them on the table. "And here's a towel. You are nearly dripping."

"You are very kind, Marinette."

"So you do remember my name." _Merde._ Chat covered his head with the towel to not betray his face. He thought fast.

"But of course! It is my duty to protect Paris and her citizens, isn't it?"

"Protecting it means remembering names? Either way, I'm glad you do it. If I, uh… Had the ability! To like, be there with you, I totally would! Heh!"

"And make it a superhero trio? That'd be nice."

"He… Yeah. Paris definitely needs it. There are too many good things here. I'd really love to just kick Hawkmoth's ass for all that he's done." Chat looked surprised.

"You spit that out with some venom!"

"Well yeah, he's hurt y- my friends. And a lot of other people. All for the name of what, Power? When we find him, I'll make him be coughing up my toenails for weeks."

"We, huh?"

"I-I, uh, mean, you and Ladybug."

"No no, you were right. Technically it is all of Paris against Hawkmoth. When we find him, I'll make sure you get a chance to speak your mind. Even if your foot does the talking." Marinette smiled, and Chat reflected it without thinking.

"Thank you very much, Chat Noir. Did you want some tea?"

"Certainly." This Marinette is incredible. The compassion, the determination, definitely actually being able to respond clearly to him. All things he had never seen from her before. She handed him a mug and looked up at him as a breeze rolled by. The crystal blue eyes, infectious smile, the silky black hair that waved so well in the wind. Why was this version of Marinette so new, and yet so familiar? _Wait... Wait wait wait wait wait._ Chat's smile vanished as it all clicked.

"Uh... Marinette?"


	8. Chapter 8: Crimson Anchovy

Marinette froze up. That was the face of a realization. She had reached the end of her rope. He knew. He knew that-

"Is this chamomile tea?" Marinette sputtered.

"W-what? Uh, I oh, I th-think so? Yes. I-It is."

"With a little bit of honey and few drops of milk?"

"Y-Yes? Why?"

"That's what was so familiar. I had a nagging suspicion that something was really familiar, but I couldn't place it." Marinette took his distraction to pull her hair out of pigtails.

"Oh. Why is it familiar?"

"My mom used to make it this way. Whenever I had a bad dream she would make me nearly exactly this kind of tea."

"Huh. What are the chances, I guess."

"You're quite lucky, aren't you?" Chat smirked at her. Before Marinette could say anything, Chat Noir took a croissant in his hand, and stepped to the railing. "See you around, Princess."

"Didn't I tell y-" Chat jumped off the terrace with his crumby salute, then sailed away on his baton.

 _He knows. He's got to. There is no way he doesn't. With "You are quite lucky aren't you?"? He knows. Okay, let's think. Do I kill him? No, that would only hurt Paris. Can I throw him a false lead? Make him think that it is someone else? No… He already knows! Ugh… I just wish I knew what he was thinking… That would make this so much easier._

XXXXXXXXXXX(lmao)

 _Man, Marinette is really cute with her hair down._ Chat kept sailing home, switching between running and riding his baton. _It's a shame she doesn't wear it that way more often. AND SHE MAKES TEA JUST LIKE MOM DID. My goodness, Marinette is just a big box of surprises. Maybe I should visit her as Chat Noir more often._ Chat slipped through the crack in the window to his room. He glowed green as Plagg pulled his suit off.

"Cheese me. I am begging you."

"Sorry we got wet, Plagg."

"Oh, wet-ever. I just need my daily dairy to save my mood."

"Wet-ever?! Plagg, thank you for choosing me to be Chat Noir. And here is your cheese. Hopefully I have helped your mewd."

"I give a six out of ten." Plagg took a bite the size of his head. "Too thimple… mmmm… unlike thith camembert… mmm mmmm.

"Do you like any cheeses besides camembert? I apply deodorant three times during the day and the smell still leaks out."

"Freedom comes at a price, kiddo…. Mmmm… and no prithe ith too high for thuch a delight." Adrien's phone buzzed. He glanced over, seeing Nate calling his class group together. He glanced up at the time, seeing he only had about 8 minutes to get the Library before he was late. With a scramble, a trip, and a few quick explanations, he was on his way.

XXXXXXXXXXX(damn N back at it again with short sections and bad authors notes that ruin the story)

"Well at least half our team is punctual. How are you, Juleka?"

"I'm okay. Have you tried calling Marinette and Adrien?" Nate shrugged.

"They said they were coming. If those two had a kid, I don't think it would show up to anything at all." Juleka giggled.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, but Rose should be arriving soon. She might even be willing to help out a little bit. She has Britain, so ours are pretty intertwined."

"It sure sucks to be belgium."

"Hmm. Yeah. Do you want me to show you my visuals?"

"It would be best to get started as soon as possible. Lord knows we'll need it."

"JULEKA! I'm here sweets! Oh, hi Natheanaël! I hope you don't mind me tagging along!" Nate glanced at Juleka, her face red enough to challenge Marinette's world records. He swore there was a hint of a smile there too.

"I'm glad you could make it, Rose. The more the merrier!" A shout erupted from behind them.

"Walk a mile in your shoes?! Really?! Do you know how much I do for you?"

"Like what?! Sit around at home and wait for me to come home and cook?"

"I support you in everything you do! And this is how you repay me?!"

"OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, you entirely misread the situation. We were just talking!"

"TALKING!? I'm amazed! I don't know how quiet you were speaking, but I doubt you needed your tongue down her throat!"

"Babe, we're French! My tongue was not down her throat. My lips were on her cheek, you are overreacting."

"I'M OVERREACTING? My god Charlie you really have lost your mind. It's all the little things you do that just drive me up the wall!" Nathanaël looked at the two girls.

"Twenty bucks the chick becomes an akuma."

"The man is more angry, he just has more restraint. My money's on him."

"I remember how I felt. Neither of them are going to turn is my bet."

"Juleka, we all have been Akumas."

"They are well past how angry I was. At least she is."

"I don't want to think about me being an Akuma. My costume was so ugly."

"I thought it was cute!"

"The heels were hard to wear, for certain. Thank god you had makeup remover as well."

"But why pink? And the frills and the face makeup, and everything!"

"You looked marvelous. And, by extension, so did the rest of us."

"I don't agree. I saw the pictures."

"I do agree. It's was the closest I've ever been to your heart, dear." Juleka's face went up again.

"Well, you two lovebirds keep at it and look for Adrien and Marinette. I'm going inside." Nate turned and opened the door. A bright light and a popping noise came from behind him. He cursed under his breath and turned around again. Rose was looking down and blushing terribly. Juleka was poking parts of her body and smiling.

"Oh my god, Rose, p-please stop poking my body…"

"But Juleka!"

"No buts!"

"GOOD AFTERNOON, CITIZENS OF PARIS!" Two booming voices synchronized, coming from the previous couple, holding hands, "WE ARE LE S-"

"GOD NO ONE CARES. THIS HAPPENS LIKE TWICE A WEEK, JUST START DISRUPTING THE PUBLIC ALREADY."

"OR JUST GIVE UP, YOU CAN'T BEAT LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR." A flash of light and the two bystanders were standing confused, looking at each other.

"So they switch people's bodies… Huh."

"I could get used to this!"

"Rose, don't do that to me!"

"It's me, now! Would you rather I do it to you, sweets? And I've never looked to beautiful!" Rose, or Juleka, blushed even more.

"Okay, let's get inside before we get caught in more crossfire, ladies."

XXXXXXXXXXX (julerose or roseka is possibly my favorite pairing. even more than the main four.)

Marinette ws sprinting, her backpack barely holding on to her shoulders. She was 12 and a half minutes late. That is 12 minutes and thirty seconds less time with Adrien. Unless she could somehow convince him to stay later. She could… Seduce him! No, Adrien was surrounded by beautiful models and Marinette couldn't seduce an ogre. She could show him her designs and ask his opinion! No, then he might think that that is all she wanted from him. That would be a horrible conclusion to an unsatisfactory tale. They could… Watch a movie? She could ask him on a date? She could kidnap him and hold him for ransom but lead the police on a fake goose chase while she actually whisks Adrien off to America where they make their lives being cattle farmers in Northern Texas, having eight children and 42 grandchildren and never being discovered. She smashed into someone, sending them flying and throwing her to the ground.

Or, she could crash into him, whacking his head into the pavement and making him pass out, then have amnesia, and she gets into the ambulance as his fiancee. When he wakes up in the hospital, she is asleep holding his hand and they instantly fall in love, Marinette trying to help him recover his memories while keeping her dark secret from him.

"Oof. Marinette? Are you okay?" Or she could die right now.

"I-i-i-i wasn't, uh, I didn't l-look where I w-was going! I-I'm sorry!"

"It's fine. Are you alright though?"

"M-Me? I've, uh, taken w-worse thats than fall!" Adrien's eyes widened.

"Uhm…?"

"No! Worse falls than that. Th-that is what I meant."

"Okay. Thank goodness." Nate stuck his head head out of an open window in the Library.

"Hey, Adrien, Marinette, there's an Akuma around who switches people's minds. Juleka is trying desperately to keep Rose from doing anything weird to her body. Stay safe." Nate's head went back in and the window closed. After a moment's hesitation, Marinette and Adrien hastily scrambled their things into their backpacks.

"I, uh gotta go, Marinette! Uhm, my Father doesn't uh, want me near Akumas!" _Too bad I'm always right next to them._

"M-Me too! I, uh, forgot something at home! Gotta go, get it!" _My dignity, mainly._

"Alright, well stay safe! Keep away from the Akuma!" _Oh Adrien, if only you knew._

"Of course! You give it a good berth too!" _Oh Marinette, if only you knew._

Marinette and Adrien ran in opposite directions into the alleys. Two shouts, two glows, and two heroes appeared, rearing to go.

XXXXXXXXXXX (I've got nothing to put here sorry)

"Oh my god, Juleka! Why do you never put your hair in a ponytail? Your skin is incredible! Your facial structure is just… it's making me tear up."

"Rrrroooossseeee…" Rose, or Juleka, covered her face with her hands. Nate glanced up at the two of them and kept sketching with his pencil.

"What? I've just never been able to have such a close look at such beauty. And I'm sooo tall! You've gotta be like, what, 5'9"? I'm almost five inches shorter than you!" Juleka, or Rose, looked closer at the mirror, "Wait… Are you wearing contacts?"

"Nnnnnooooooooooo…"

"Can I take them out?"

"They just make my eyes more yellowish orangey." Rose pulled a contact out and dug in Juleka's pocket for the container.

"And correct your vision, oh my god. I can barely see Nate's face!"

"Rrroooose…"

"Oh my god! What if you put on glasses! Nate, you have glasses, don't you?"

"Uhh…" Nate shuffled as Rose took out her other contact, "I do, but I haven't needed them for a few years."

"Can I borrow them? Juleka is going to try on an entirely new style when I'm down with her. She looked incredible before, but everyone should know how they look in different ways. Hey, Juleka, do you want to come over to my house tonight? If we stay this way for a while, it'd be easier to explain to our parents."

"My mom should be fine with it. She's always liked you."

"So I'm in with the family, hmm? Good first step." Juleka sighed and covered her blush again.

"She's actually wanted you to come over really often…" Rose paused.

"What?" Juleka sank lower, hiding her face behind Rose's knees.

"She thought we were dating last year. I didn't know about it until a month ago."

"Wh… Really?" Juleka nodded, "Want to make it true?"

XXXXXXXXXXX (we are gods in our own realm. our lands of paper. and throwing it at all of you.)

Paris was in a bad spot. Ladybug couldn't get at an opening in the couple's defense, and Chat Noir couldn't create one. One would use the other as a weapon, and right when they thought they had the upper hand, the dance would change. There had been so many trips to square one, they had a repeat customer punch card. The battle kept on moving through the city, switching more people. Chat and Ladybug were tiring. It had been a good two hours, no gains, just losses.

"Lucky Charm!" Chat breathed heavily as he crouched down in between the Couple and Ladybug. His claws dug into the ground in front of him as a low growl came from his throat.

"What are we working with?"

"A… Big plastic bag?"

"Wh… What?" Chat turned to look. Sure enough, Ladybug was holding a giant plastic bag. He opened his mouth to say a pun about "unnecessary baggage", but a flash of light enveloped the Heroes. The air around him shimmered, his skin tingled, and he hit the ground with a thud. He blinked, trying to focus on the cobblestones in front of him. How much time had passed? It felt like no time at all. He groaned and tried to pick himself up. He placed a hand down and pushed. He came to a halt. Was that ladybug's hand? He tried to move the fingers, surprised to find the hand responding. If it was his hand, why was it so red?

Adrien gasped, and frantically looked around, "LADYBUG?!" A black figure stepped into his view.

"Chat… I… I'm going to have start calling you Ladybug from now on."

XXXXXXXXXXX(i don't know if you guys have noticed but i always do 11 X's. it's neat. it's like 11 kisses to all of you.)


	9. Chapter 9: Then who's flying this plane?

Adrien got to his knees and took hold on the black gloved hand. He felt different. Heavier, more visible, and more… regal. He blinked a few more times to clear his eyesight, then looked more at the hand grasping his. The fingers were bare, only a thin slip of black connected the middle finger to the sleeve. The nails were well manicured, but the palms were strong and slightly calloused. His eyes glided up the black sleeve, stretched tight over the muscles beneath, till the shoulder. He blinked, looking at those ungodly deltoids. Adrien swallowed and looked at the face that the arm belonged to. The crystal blue eyes mixed with the heart melting smirk left his knees feeling a little weak.

"Have you stared at my arm for enough time?" Adrien gulped.

"Uh, y-yeah!" His composure was gone. The ability to flirt on a dime had vanished. His mental train had derailed. Hundreds of casualties.

"Good. How do I use your baton?"

"Well, you push the button and think about it real hard."

"Think? You think and it changes size?"

"Yeah, essentially. It's difficult to explain. How do I use the Yo-yo?"

"Oh, we are screwed."

XXXXXXXXXXX (this is honestly a really short chapter)

"Alya! Dude, that is my body! Please be careful with it!"

"How do you even run with this thing between your legs?"

"How you YOU run with these?"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment. The Akuma should be right over here! Hurry up!"

"How do you even do this…" The pair rounded a corner to what can only be described as a clusterfuck. Chat Noir, except a woman and having long black hair, was leaping way past the Akuma, while Ladybug, except a man and having short blonde hair, was swinging his yo-yo around and nearly taking himself out with it.

"Nino! Camera!"

"Here it is."

"You're in frame! You're me! Start talking! So it's believable!"

"Oh shit, no. Alya Cesaire! Reporting live from Paris! Behind me you can see Ladybug and Chat Noir fighting, kind of…"

"Not good enough, I'm stepping in!" Alya turned the camera to look at herself, in Nino's body,

"This Akuma switches people's minds! I am currently in the body of my friend Nino, real weird experience, let me tell you, and Nino is in my body. It appears as if…" Alya turned the camera back to the fight, "As if Ladybug and Chat Noir have been switched as well! But, only their costumes and abilities have changed! Something we have only dreamed about has come true!"

"Alya, only you have dreamed of this."

"That might be true! But here's a counterpoint!" Alya stepped on Nino's foot, "Up there is the Akuma! It's a pair of lovers that had a quarrel, and were unable to see things from the other's point of view! Nino! Let's get a closer look!"

"How about you take a look at my point of view."

"It looks like the Akuma is getting ready to say something! C'mon Nino!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (but in the last two days i have drunk a gallon of coffee and had about 4 hours of sleep)

"So, 'Heroes', do you think you can still fight? Certainly you can't expect to beat us now." Chat Noire groaned.

"Chat, I can't think of anything. My mind is so clogged up! Like someone threw a bucket of wooden shoes in it!" Chat Noire stopped and gasped. Ladybug smiled.

"Was that a joke?"

"JUST THINK OF A PLAN I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." Chat Noire leapt up to swing at the pair, but she leapt too high and extended the baton too far. She was swung overhead and slammed into the ground.

 _Okay. A plan. Ladybug does this all the time. Am I Ladybug now? Maybe I need a new name. Lordbug? No, that just sounds dumb. Shit! Focus. Plan. Okay. This akuma is a dancing duo. How do you fight dancing? In Dirty Dancing, starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey, it was economic class issues that brought the biggest problem in between them. Can I use that? What? Where am I getting all these ideas? It's like tangents are all my mind is! Tangents, huh… What if we had a big truckload of tangerines to dumb out here. That'd make it hard to dance!_

"They sure have this one in the bag!" Ladybug blinked and looked at Chat Noire, face down in the street. _THE BAG! Where is it?_ He turned around and spotted the red and black bag in the gutter. The wheels began to turn. He sprinted towards the bag.

"Chat Noire! From below!" Chat Noire got up in a jump and sprinted, at astounding speed, towards the couple. She slid below a kick and pushed up on her hands, connecting both her feet with the opposing chins. Ladybug appeared in the air above them, and covered them both in the bag. A quick knot, and the duo were trapped.

"There we are!" Ladybug held out his fist towards his partner with a grin.

"But… Now what?" The grin vanished and he looked back at the rustling bag.

"Uh…" The bag rustled again and Adrien's ring beeped.

"Oh, you only have one dot left! Come on!"

"But, does the lucky charm stay when we detransform?"

"I don't want to stay and find out!" She hoisted Ladybug on her shoulder and extended her baton beneath her, "Get Meowtta here!"

The baton extended a little too fast for Marinette's wishes. They were sent sailing, screaming all the way. Adrien's ring beeped repeatedly, warning of his imminent reveal. Marinette searched for an alley, and angled them towards it. The beeping stopped and Adrien began to glow. Marinette shut her eyes and slammed into the alley.

"'Meowtta here.' I get it."

"I didn't even think about it. Is that what it's like for you?"

"Yeah… That yo-yo is hard to get a hang of."

"Mhmm. I got a few black eyes when I practiced."

"A few? I'll have to wear safety goggles."

"Oh my god, I never even thought of that."

"So… Uhm… Did you see?"

"Nope. My eyes are shut tight."

"You could always open them. Who knows, maybe you'll recognize me."

"I doubt it. I would know if I knew the Chat Noir." Adrien smirked and sat up. Tikki floated up in front of him.

"Woah. Hi there."

"I am so sorry!"

"Tikki? But I'm not detrans- oh no…"

"Uh, so you're Tikki? Then she gets Plagg?"

"I would assume so. I've never experienced this before. And, again, I am so sorry!"

"Wait, what for?"

"I… I don't have many male Ladybugs. Only two or three in all my time, and they were solely for quick emergencies. So uh… The suit might have been a little… tight." Adrien felt his face heat up.

"Oh. I-I… Oh… You are a… Lady Kwami, huh?"

"The closest there is!" Tikki gave him a grin.

"This is going to be a learning experience."

"Yup! For the both of us!"

"So, who is Plagg?"

"That is my Kwami." Adrien looked over to Chat Noire, his words stalling in his mouth. Chat Noire's hair was down, flowing and messed, but perfectly so. He had never even considered how it might look outside of its normal pigtails. It cascaded over her neck and shoulders, drawing to a close on her upper back. Adrien swallowed.

"You're looking at me, aren't you?" Adrien cleared his throat and turned his head, "Well, Plagg and I are going to have a Chat about this get up."

"He always was a bit more on the risque side." Tikki shrugged.

"He's got a heart of gold. Underneath a giant pile of dirt, filth, and cold, hard stone."

"What does he eat?"

"Cheese? What does T- What do you eat, Tikki?"

"I really like cookies, if they are available."

"Uhmm…" Adrien remembered his diet, "I'll try." Marinette stood up and dusted herself off, keeping her eyes closed.

"Keep Tikki safe. Eventaully I'd like to be Ladybug again. I'll check on our friends, but I am really hoping they are still wrapped up in all that. I'll see you tonight so we can start planning?"

"Uh, yeah! Of course, My Lady."

"Mmm, maybe I should start calling you My Lady. Or, what was it? Sir? Master?" Marinette gave Chat's salute and readied her baton, "Catch you later, Ladybug!" Adrien watched her sail off.

"Wow, you have got it bad."

"I know, Tikki. I know."

XXXXXXXXXXX (so don't expect perfection from a pile of meat and bone)

"Okay, so first of all, the phrase is 'Claws In', and second of all, I am so sorry Marinette."

"W-wait, how do you know my name?"

"Chat Noir has visited you a few times, right? In fact, just a few hours ago you had a nice feline encounter."

"Okay… You aren't going to tell Chat who I am, right?"

"I wouldn't dare. You two are free to reveal yourselves at any time. And reveal yourselves at any time, because I will be nowhere near you two when that goes down."

"You're right, because it never will."

"Heh heh, oh ssssuuuururrreee. I know a lot of things that you don't, kitten."

"That sounds weird. Do you call Chat that?"

"Not to his face. But, what did you think about the costume? I don't know where it came from, I don't remember making a lady Chat Noire costume for some time. It's like it just… came out."

"It could use to be a little looser around the waste. What, was the last person in that costume a model or something?" Plagg cleared his throat.

"Maybe I do choose them a little on the leaner side…"

Alright, I'll keep feeding you parts as I think of them. I actually like designing clothes, so this should be a cinch to me. And… Well, straight to the point, I'm going to need to know how to use Chat's abilities. Can you teach me?"

"For a low, low payment of as much Fougasse bread as I please."

"Fougasse? Are you secretly a bread connoisseur?"

"I am just a cat that knows what he likes."

XXXXXXXXXXX (the pile of flesh and bone is me, N. Take it from me, N.)

Tikki sat on one of Plagg's many perches and looked about the room. It had contents enough for an entire home, but it still felt empty and cold. The large windows let in a view of the street and the sparse clouds. A container of cheese was open next to her, and the scent from this far away made her sigh.

"He really does make you get him camembert, doesn't he?"

"That's all he eats."

"Adrien, we've been alive longer than cheese has."

"Wait, what?"

"I like to eat cookies, but I by no means have to eat them. Cookies were only invented a few hundred years ago. We're magical, ageless lifeforms, not picky toddlers. It's good that you're kind to him though."

"What do you mean?"

"In the past, Plagg always chose more… Alley cat types. Young men that already knew how to slink silently and stay in the shadows. They were, more often than not, dirt poor. So, Plagg had to take what he could get and live off of next to nothing. He looks out for his kittens, that's for sure."

"Wow… Never knew I was an outlier. He just seemed so… used to a lavish lifestyle."

"Huh… That doesn't really make sense… His last Chat was an artist back in the 90's… And one that idolized the 1800's, so… He didn't get much in the way of high class foods. Anyway, Adrien, time to start practicing!"

"Practicing what?"

"Your yo-yo skills!"

"Yo-yo's kills, more like."

"Put on your helmet, Adrien!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (i need to stop the incoherent ramblings in this. and write longer chapters. See y'all next time!)


	10. Chapter 10: Excitement Before the Storm

"So… Most of my cats have… prior baton experience… So the ladies always figured it out eventually. I'm not sure how to help."

"Oh my god. Just sit there and eat your cheese. I have got to stretch my brain."

"Sitting here and eating my cheese is one of my favorite past times." Marinette paced around the room.

"How did you first few days with the actual Chat Noir go?"

"The kid had a transformation sequence all planned out. It seemed like he had rehearsed it for months, it came so naturally. But anyway, I floated around in his room, I was really hungry so i tried to find something to eat, and then we talked a little bit. As soon as he heard the transformation phrase, he sucked me into his ring and went on his merry way as a fake leather-clad cat boy."

"I've always wondered about the getup…"

"I would like to pass it off as entirely him, but no. Stylistic choices by yours truly."

"Is it like… A fetish?" Plagg nearly choked on his cheese, "Or is there a better reason for it?"

"Okay, FIRST OF ALL, Kwami's are not sexual beings. Nothing turns us on. We are pretty sure that we can't even reproduce, but why would we if we could. If we make another Kwami, then it would imbalance us. SECOND OF ALL, leather is an excellent material for not only lightweight armor, but also flexibility, silence when a rubberized layer is applied over it, and supreme amounts of night camoflauge. THIRD OF ALL…"

"What, does it cling to the body just right to draw lustful stares?" Plagg was quiet for a moment.

"...FOURTH OF ALL…"

"Oh my god."

XXXXXXXXXXX (plagg confirmed for leather club leader)

"One more, Adrien! Come on, you can do this!" Adrien was laying face down on the floor, gasping for breath.

"That's wh…. What you s… said… five times… ago…"

"All of my Ladybugs have endurance and staying power. You are not going to be an exception."

"Tikki we fought… two akumas today… and one yesterday… I am so beat and so goddamn hungry. I would kill a man for a french fry." Tikki gave him a disapproving look. he continued, "Metaphorically, of course."

"How much do you eat?"

"Well, as of right now I am on a diet and calorie burning workout program, so around 1800-2200 calories a day, mostly protein and greens, with some carbohydr-"

"2000 CALORIES A DAY?" Adrien jolted a small bit.

"Y-Yes?"

"And you're running around Paris in a skintight fake leather cat suit all the time? How are you not dead?"

"Uh, willpower, incredible self-control, and mental repression, mainly."

"I'm getting you more food. We are going to double your calorie intake. Look at you. You could hold 50 kilograms of weights and you'd still only weigh 20 kilograms. I know that Plagg likes them skinny, lean, and small, but this is insane."

"I weigh 54 kilograms, mind you. And Plagg didn't really know. He always just sleeps in my pocket and eats cheese."

"I am going to give that cat a stern talking to. After we get you some food."

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"You are sitting down and not wasting any more calories than you have to." Adrien sat down as Tikki shut her eyes and concentrated. He just looked at the slightly shimmering creature for a while, but the silence droned on. An open window let the street's noises come in. It was a quiet early Friday morning, but the murmurs of sound came through. Cars, rustling leaves, the caw of a crow, the yell of a man, some faint pop song on a radio, and a large smack. Adrien jumped and looked at the window as a crow flew away. He supposed the crow had hit the window.

"And breakfast is served!" Tikki gave him a large grin and pointed at the window.

"Wh…? I'm not going to eat a bird!" Tikki blinked.

"What kind of cat are you? And no, not the bird. The bird was the delivery boy. THAT is the package." Tikki pointed lower to a large McDonalds bag laying on the floor below the window, surrounded by a couple of black feathers.

"H-How did you do that?" Adrien looked astounded.

"Ladybugs are lucky! The crow was hungry, so it grabbed a man's bag off the table. Unfortunately, it was a little too eager, and ran into your window. No one was harmed, the man laughed it off and bought another, the bird is unharmed and will find a nice big batch of raisins that a toddler dropped at the park. All is well that ends well!"

"Could Plagg do something like that?"

"Luckiness for one is just unluckiness for another. If you win the lottery, everyone else did not win the lottery. If you find $20, someone lost $20. He can do it, just no one really gets a happy ending. Just like I can spread destruction, but in the end it is better than it was."

"That's kind of… Abstract? Deep?"

"Adrien, that is about as deep as a puddle in a desert."

XXXXXXXXXXX (tikki confirmed for team mom)

"Alya, Nino, please sit in the right places. Sabrina, Chloe, you too. Alix, Max, Kim, Mylene, what are all of you doing out of your places?"

"We all got hit by the akuma." The teacher paused for a moment.

"Oh. Well… I, uh, hope we can still focus through our… predicaments…" Alya, or Nino, spoke up.

"Can we please just have a study hall? I could not find a comfortable position to sleep last night."

"I bet Alya did. It was a great weight off her chest!" Adrien smiled and snapped.

"Bro, I love you, but I don't need this right now."

"I did actually sleep really well, thank you for asking."

"Yes, you all may use this class for study hall. You have a project for Ms. Bustier's, correct? You can work on that, but please keep the noise level down." With a murmur, the class separated into their groups, some working, some not. Adrien followed behind Marinette to the rear of the class to join Nate and Rose.

"This is going to take some getting used to, Juleka."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't work colors this bright since elementary. And neither has my body." Juleka pointed over to Juleka, or Rose, wearing a loose braid and clothes that Rose had seemingly been saving for a day like this. Rose, sensing the looks, turned her head. Smiling to the group, she winked and blew a kiss at Juleka, then turned away with a grin.

"That was really weird to see you do." Marinette blinked.

"If you think that was weird, think about me." Juleka covered her face with her arms. Nate chuckled and looked up from his laptop.

"Just wait till Rose gets her body back. Now that you two are a thing and all." Juleka made a light eep noise as Adrien and Marinette turned to look at Juleka's reddening face.

"Are you…?"

"Is that…?"

"You two are dating now?!" Adrien and Marinette said in unison, giant grins plastered on their faces. Juleka buried herself in her arms as much as she could and groaned.

"Essentially… But, as Rose said, 'It's too weird to make moves on my own body' so… She's saving it all up I bet." Marinette and Adrien thought of their romantic interests in their bodies. It was unnerving for sure.

"Well, uh, I'm s-sure that Chat Noir and Ladybug will fix all this!" Marinette willed the redness away from her face. Adrien nodded.

"They always do. But, they've been switched as well, so… I guess give it time? It must be kinda hard and new to them."

"I'm just glad I haven't been switched with anyone. Who knows what it would do to my muscle memory. Anyways, here is what I got so far. Luckily you two left your parts on the dropbox, so I was able to put together our rough draft of our presentation together. I had nothing better to do except watch Juleka and Rose flirt with each other and draw…"

"Please tell me you didn't draw Rose and I flirting."

"I don't want to lie to you."

"Oh my god…"

"I will not apologize for art."

"Nate, this is pretty good! I did find some images that would better go with my section though. Could we work on it tonight?"

"Oh, yeah! Sure thing! It's Friday so I should be really free tonight."

"Great! I should be free after 7 or so. What about you two? Juleka? Marinette?" Marinette flapped her jaw, but Rose, or Juleka, spoke.

"I already got my parts done yesterday. And since Nate has become this project's Kaiser, you all get to spend some nice time with him."

"So you can spend time with Rose."

"Okay… Yes, but, did it need to be said?"

"I-I'll be joining you t-tonight if you don't mind…"

"We need your parts, Marinette. We have to mind you not being there."

"Then y-yeah. After seven works!" Marinette smiled at the group, and everyone seemed to pause. Nate's pencil lead cracked, Adrien's jaw slowly fell, and Rose's, or Juleka's, eyes widened. Marinette opened her eyes again, Juleka cleared her throat and looked out the window, Adrien shut his mouth and sucked his teeth, Nate blinked a few times and clicked out more lead on his pencil. _Marinette is an angel._

XXXXXXXXXXX (julerose/roseka confirmed for canon for this fic at least please give us lesbians astruc please)

Ladybug twirled the yo-yo around in front of a amused Chat Noire. He switched hands, lengthened and shortened the string, whipped it 10 meters forward and 10 meters back. Chat Noire gave him a slow applause.

"You did better than I did in a day."

"I had a lot of motivation!"

"You wanted to impress me, huh?"

"But of course. It was quite difficult to get at first."

"At first? Just wait until you try the more advanced stuff." Chat Noire walked across the roof to Ladybug, and handed him a rock, "Throw that up and hit it."

"No way. That is impossible."

"Hand it over, pal. Keep the rock, you toss it." Ladybug handed her the yo-yo. Chat took up a stance, and swung it in a circle next to her. She winked at Ladybug, who began to reflect his suit, "Whenever you're ready, Mr. Cherry."

Ladybug tossed the rock at a low angle, testing Chat Noire's reaction speed. The rock spun terribly, changing it's trajectory several times. Ladybug looked back at Chat with a smirk, only to find a bigger one. She sunk low, and swung the yo-yo forward. Ladybug could barely follow it. The rock hit the ground as the yo-yo swished past it. Ladybug blinked, Chat Noire stopped and the yo-yo hit the wall.

"Uh…"

"I missed?" Ladybug gave a high pitched laugh.

"You were so confident!"

"It… It's heavier! Mine was lighter! Do it again!" Chat Noire got in her stance again, a determined look on her face.

"Alrighty, Chat." Ladybug smirked and lightly tossed another rock. Chat Noire couldn't hit pebbles out of the air. Ladybug looked back at Chat Noire, the black hair blowing in the wind, the muscles in her arm twisting, the blue eyes following the pebble, then flicking to him, and back to the pebble, the pout on her face slowly transforming to a mischievous smile... He sighed, right as a pebble hit him in the forehead.

"OW FUCK" Ladybug recoiled and clutched his head.

"OH MY GOD I HIT IT TOO HARD! CHAT ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Did you really hit the rock to hit me in the head?!"

"Yes?"

"That's incredible! But ow!"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, sweets. It'll heal up once we get this akuma."

"Then what are we waiting for, Darling?"

XXXXXXXXXXX (Me confirmed for really like using pet names like darling and sweets and love i really like them they are fun a different one for every person in my life if possible is A1 top tier sorry this is so long)

The plaza was surrounded by media. They had been here for a day, with nothing to report except a rustling plastic bag. A few had come, a few more had left. The remaining were sitting around, nothing to do. There wouldn't be any story until the bag broke open or the heroes arrived. A light pair of taps echoed through the plaza, but no one turned.

"Hey! We're going to open the bag now!" The plaza paused for a moment, Chat Noire and Ladybug standing next to the bag, waiting. Then it boomed into motion, crews scrambling to cameras, anchors ruffling hair and drinking water. In a moment, the area was teeming with a tense energy. It reflected the heroes themselves. They turned to each other, nodded, and grabbed the rustling plastic bag.

"On three?" Hesitant green eyes met worried blue.

"Do you mean actually on three? Or like, three, then go. So four."

"I like the second one."

"Me too. Good luck, Ladybug. Do me proud."

"You too, Chat Noire."

After a breath, Ladybug counted.

"1…"

Hands tightened on the plastic.

"2…"

Adrenaline was soaring.

"3."

The bag opened.

XXXXXXXXXXX (these authors notes confirmed for ruining immersion into the story, sorry pals)


	11. Chapter 11: An Arm, a Leg, and 350

Nothing happened. The bag was still, the air was stagnant, the heroes held their breath. But nothing happened. Camera crews zoomed in on the bag, but nothing happened. Ladybug and Chat Noire shared a glance, then slowly started to look in the bag. As their faces appeared in the mouth of the bag, they found the bag primarily contained two fists. The heroes went flying across the square, a terrifying, although harmonic, scream erupting behind them.

"I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! YOU JUST PUT US IN THAT BAG FOR A DAY! AIR DOESN'T GET THROUGH PLASTIC! WE COULD HAVE DIED!" Ladybug wrapped his yo-yo around Chat's baton, who swung him towards the foes. He landed a foot on each chest, sending them skidding and rolling.

"YOU WERE BEING DICKS! WE'RE HERE TO WIN AND SAVE PARIS, NOT MAKE SURE EVERY VILLAIN FEELS OKAY." Chat Noire passed Ladybug on his right and leapt over the couple's heads. They turned to face her, but the baton swept their feet out from under them. The yo-yo wrapped their clutched hands, and whipped them overhead to smash into the pavement. Chat and Ladybug rushed forward, Ladybug dropped low, Chat jumped high. Ladybug's leg was caught, as was Chat's baton. Red streaked across the pavements and Black was crashed against them. Chat Noire erupted in a flurry of strikes, feet, hands, baton, each one doing less damage than the one before. A good cracking punch sent her sliding to join Ladybug.

"Egh… Do another Lucky Charm." She groaned out, reading herself to attack again.

"Can I do a second one?"

"I don't know. You can always hope. I'll cover you."

Chat Noire sprinted forward on all fours, preempting an assault. Ladybug looked down at his Yo-yo. Tikki had told him all he needed. Time to see how difficult this actually was. Ladybug threw the yo-yo up, and after a flash, a coinpurse floated down to rest in his hands.

"What the fuck?" Chat Noire took a blow, and landed near him.

"What is it?"

"A coinpurse?"

"Does it have money in it?"

"Uh… Yeah… A bit. Can't be more than five bucks."

"What are we supposed to do, pay for half an hour of parking?"

"A subtle stab at urban parking prices, nice."

"Just help me fight until it clicks. Do you have any ideas as to their akumatized item?"

"Nothing stands out. But, they've never stopped holding hands. Maybe's it's in there?"

"And there isn't a handy way to pry them apart, huh?" Ladybug turned to Chat Noire with a small smile.

"Did you…?"

"What? Oh... It just slipped out…"

"I'm glad, Chat. You really are fitting into my role."

"What, should I start flirting with you as well?"

"I wouldn't complain. I certainly will miss that costume on you."

"Maybe I'll cosplay as Chat Noire, just for you." She gave him a sultry wink, neatly wrapped in the black package and risque words. It was nearly too much for him.

"Oooohh… My Lady…" He growled out.

"Use the testosterone I just gave you to fight them."

"As you wish." Ladybug whipped his Yo-yo around him and swung it forward, wrapping it around the male dancer's wrist, "I've got the mister. You get the misses. Try and pull them apart."

"Of course, Bugaboo." Chat leapt across the cobblestones as Ladybug yanked the couple off balance. Chat tripped the woman, having a manly fist stop right before her face, caught up in Ladybug's string. The man dancer floundered and fell to the ground. Chat took the arm of the woman and pulled, Ladybug pulling in the opposite direction. Four harmonizing yells shook the plaza.

The Couple's yells grew angrier. Ladybug was pulled off balance, and tumbled to the ground. Chat took a knee to the back of the head and crumpled beneath her legs. The couple quickly unwrapped the Yo-yo, and turned to Chat Noire, who was just shakily standing up. A quick kick to the knee, a sickening crack, and a high pitched scream scraped its way into Ladybug's ears.

His body moved before his mind realized what happened. His fingers balled together as he saw Chat's face. A furious scream bellowed from his throat as he heard Chat's groans. His hand shattered against the face of the woman dancer as he felt Chat's pain.

Ladybug scooped up Chat Noire's head and smoothed her hair. Chat was breathing heavily, but her grin remained. Ladybug chanced a look at the injury. With the force of the kick, Chat Noire's knee was inverted. Adrien was no doctor, but he was sure that could not be healthy. The crack that he had heard was likely the bone in the thigh or the bones in the shin, or maybe both. Bruising would be very clear, if not for the tight black suit covering the leg.

"I guess they got a leg up on me." Ladybug groaned.

"Are you serious?"

"Holy shit what happened to your arm?" Ladybug lifted his right arm up, gazing at it. His wrist was likely sprained, and a couple of his fingers were broken. His pinkie and ring finger knuckles were shattered, and bleeding a worrying amount. His forearm was likely hurt as well, maybe a fracture or a break.

"Uh… A cracking good time?"

"I gotta hand it to ya."

"L- Cha- Whoever you are, please don't throw dumb puns back at me."

"I knee-d you to keep fighting."

"Oh my god. Yes, My Lady."

"I should be saying that to you."

"Can I help you at all?"

"I dunno, maybe grab me a pepsi or something." Ladybug stood up.

"Stay here. I'll take care of this." Chat snorted as he walked away.

 _Oh fuck dude, game over. We were getting our asses kicked when it was 2 on 2, now it's two on one? I am so screwed. Sorry Paris, we got screwed._ The couple stood up and faced him, two grins and two hands essentially mirroring each other. _Okay so how can I at least take them both with me? If I take them both out, then let go of my transformation and die, I should be good. Dead, but good. In the long scheme of things, that's okay. Paris is safe, I am dead. I could live with that. Or, not live, but, remain dead with that. Still, that has the near impossible feat of beating them both._ Ladybug looked around for his options. Nothing striked out as an answer. But, that soda machine did stand out. _Chat Noire wanted a pepsi._ He walked over to the machine and took out the coinpurse. A pice of the puzzle fell in place. _I use the coins to get a soda? Then what?_ He looked around, his eyes falling on Chat Noire, struggling to get up. _Use… Soda on Chat Noire? No, that won't … Will it?_ A plan flowed into his mind. He plugged in the buttons and grabbed the can of pepsi. _2.75 for a can of soda. Thanks, inflation and Parisian prices._ He turned around, finding the couple slowly sauntering towards him.

"What are you going to do, Ladybug? Rot our teeth?" Chat picked up his pace and ran over to Chat Noire.

"Didn't I say to stay here?"

"I haven't moved, sadly."

"Take this." Chat took the can.

"Uh, I didn't actually mean get me a pepsi. It was a joke."

"And now it's a plan."

"What?"

"Telling you would ruin the surprise. Give our friends one."

Ladybug ran off and picked up the bag. _How do I get hit up and behind them? I would have to be over them. If I try and make them think I'm going to stick them in the bag again, this might work._ Ladybug grabbed the handholds on the bag and turned to face his opponents.

"You are NOT putting us in there again!" The couple were close to Chat Noire now. If Ladybug was out of the way enough, they'd likely go after her. Just as planned.

"TRY AND STOP ME!" Ladybug sprinted at the couple, timing his steps before his leap perfectly. With a mighty yell, he soared into the air, to come down right on top of them. Two legs shot up, catching him in the chest and knocking the wind out of him. _Bruises, 6._ He heard a crack in his torso. _Ribs broken 1, bones broken, likely upwards of 5._ The force of the kick sent him spinning up and behind the couple. With a dark grin, they turned to Chat Noire, who was laying on the ground.

"Dearie, time for a cat nap! A nice long one." They took a step closer. Two hands reached out and clutched her shoulders. They spun her around.

"Soda-un with you two." A foam of pepsi coated the dancers. They let go of each other's hands, and a gold ring tumbled to the ground. Chat Noire's baton hit the woman in the chest, forcing her into the air, where Ladybug was waiting with the plastic bag. A quick knot, and the odds were evened. A dripping man swiped the ring off the ground and held it to his heart. He glanced around as Ladybug helped Chat Noire to her feet. Bracing themselves, they walked towards him.

He turned to run, but a wire wrapped around his right foot, and a baton swiped out the left. He was dragged back to the duo and strung up by a light pole. Chat gently pushed him around, making him swing.

"Ready to give up?"

"HAH! I'm not done y-" Ladybug made him drop a foot, and chat took to prying open the hand. With Chat Noire pulling down and Ladybug pulling up, the ring fell out of the man's palm. A quick, red stop and a dark purple butterfly came out.

"My Lady, it was an honor to play your role."

"And it was a pleasure to play yours."

"Wait, what if we detransform when we purify this?" Chat looked around at the gleeful news crews.

"That would be very bad." Ladybug gave her his bad arm.

"Then hop aboard, my Lady. Let's go someplace a little more private."

"Keep it in your suit, Buggs."

XXXXXXXXXXX (hey i wrote most of this chapter at Mount Rainier in Washington state. It's on our tumblr if you want more of us for some reason.)

"Ready?"

"Definitely."

"Eyes closed. Do it." A beeping from ladybug's earrings sounded, but he put the akuma in the glowing white chamber of his Yo-yo. The white light dissappeared, but then a red glow replaced it. It grew, doubling in size, then tripling, before overtaking the alley. People around Paris were blinded by white, then suddenly in their own bodies once again. Nino teared up and Alya danced. Rose smirked as Juleka grew red. Adrien felt the red suit melt off of him and Marinette felt hers burn off of her. A small object sat on each of their shoulders.

"Well, Miss, it was a lovely time with you, but, as usual, my boy calls for me."

"I'll miss your quirks, Plagg."

"And I'll miss your food."

"Tikki, I'm glad we got to spend this time together. It really opened my eyes as to what Ladybug goes through."

"She goes through a whole lot more than you got, A- Chat." Tikki looked over at Plagg, "Plagg, come here."

"What is it, my dearest sugarplum? I haven't seen you in years, oh, how I have missed y-" Tikki grabbed Plagg's face and whispered angrily.

" _That boy only gets 1900 calories a day!"_

" _He- He's a model!"_

" _Yes, and a superhero! You had better get that boy some real food. I know that you are just being lazy!"_

" _Yes Ma'am."_

" _I'll get Marinette to help. Maybe it'll help out this pining situation."_

" _Oh my god, please do. The amount of Adrien posters in her room…"_

" _And the amount of Ladybug merch in his…"_

They both sighed.

"Well, Plagg, until next time. Reveal or shenanigans."

"Of course, dear. Let's hope it's for a longer time."

They shared a quick embrace, and parted ways. Two glows illuminated the alley.

"Your leg comes first."

"Your arm comes first."

"At the same time then."

"Fine."

 **Crack.**

XXXXXXXXXXX ( teamniche if you don't mind shameless self promotion. honestly we don't post much i just give chapter updates there occasionally and reblog dumb shit so do what you will with our blog.)


	12. Chapter 12: Better Nate Than Never

7:46. Nate expected this, but… This is something. They said by 7, right? 7 was 46… 47 minutes ago. Nathanael spun his pencil around. He had been ready at 6:30, just in case. He could have waited another hour. He clicked over to the Ladyblog. He had heard that they were fighting the Akuma today, he might as well see how it went. A big video, headlined "BRUTAL FIGHT, HEROES BRUISED BUT VICTORIOUS.", was the first post. Seeing the two heroes with their clothes swapped was always a bit off putting, no matter how many times he had watched yesterday's video. The current video was posted a little under a minute ago, but it already had a few thousand views. Knowing Alya, that meant the fight was over about 3 minutes ago. Nate's pencil absent mindedly sketched the outfits. Nate was making a killing doing various superhero commissions. Someone was bound to ask for a "Chat Noire" something or other. Nate grimaced. It would probably turn out to be something lewd. Like a body pillow. Or some alluring pose that she wouldn't be caught dead doing.

Adrien and Marinette's online notifications popped up within seconds of each other. He gave them a few seconds and typed out a message.

 **It's been Nathanrael: so are you two actually ready or should i give you another hour?**

A very quick response.

 **Mari Me: Just a few minutes!**

 **Adrien Agrelaxation: I'll need a moment. Sorry!**

Nate had forgotten how he renamed all his contacts one bored night. He quickly corrected his dumb humor.

 **Nate: okay i renamed myself sorry for any confusion. eighth grade self and i don't agree on what's funny**

He had to wait a little while for a reply.

 **Marinette: No worries! Did we have names too?**

 **Nate: what of course not no you definitely did not**

 **Adrien: Oh come on, what were they?**

 **Nate: i have already forcefully forgotten**

He paused.

 **Nate: yours was Adrien Agrelaxation**

 **Adrien: What?**

 **Nate: Agreste? rest? rest and relaxation? Agrelaxation?**

 **Adrien: Oh, I get it.**

 **Marinette: So what was mine?**

Nate thought quickly.

 **Nate: United States Mari Corps.**

 **Marinette: Oh my god that is incredible!**

 **Adrien: Marinette's is better than mine.**

 **Nate: you can get a good one next time i don't sleep for 80 hours, and as things are that might be in a few days. the presentation is in the shared folder, can you take a look at your parts before we call and go over your speeches?**

 **Adrien: Yep! Pulling it up now.**

 **Marinette: Oh yeah! On it!**

Nate started sketching again. There wasn't a good shot of Chat Noire's mask in the Ladyblog video. The whole plaza was surrounded by news cameras, so surely someone got a shot of it. He looked down at the maskless drawing. The smirk was evident, maybe that was just a part of the black cat character. The blue eyes and black hair were really nicely matched with the leathery suit. But man, did that ever look familiar. A beeping notification pulled his gaze.

 **Marinette: It looks fantastic! You did a great job.**

Nate felt an unconscious smile grow on him. Marinette still had some hold over him, but that was fine. It's a good place for one's heart to be.

 **Nate: thanks but please review it tomorrow or something like fact check everything, i'm sure i probably made some typos or mistakes**

 **Adrien: Mine looks good as well.**

 **Nate: A call then?**

 **Adrien: Sure.**

 **Marinette: I'm ready**

Nate pressed the call button and was met by two quick responses.

"Hey Nate!" by Adrien, and a crash by Marinette.

"Oh no, hold on." Marinette's microphone impacted the table.

"Okay, Adrien, let's start working so I can sleep tonight. So, we can't just read off the presentation. That means you'll have to make your own speech. Are you okay at talking in front of an audience?"

"Yeah, I've had a lot of lessons about it a few years ago. I should be fine."

"You'll probably be way better than the rest of us. Do you want to start making like an outline, and then flesh it out from there? If you are confident enough, you could just have bullet points on a notecard and then be able to talk about them during the presentation. That would work."

"I don't think I'll need a notec-" A large thump came from Adrien, "Uh, give me a moment."

Nate was alone to whispers just too quiet to hear and odd thumps and bumps. Naturally, Nate was nosy. He turned up his volume and tried to hear. Marinette hummed affirmatively, then gasped and sighed. Adrien groaned and whispered to someone. They both sounded… Oddly sensual. They both matched, too. It was as if they were together.

 _What if they are together? It would make so much sense. They both got on at the same time because they both realized they were late at the same time. Marinette was the one who distracted Adrien, and now they are doing unknown godless things to each other._ Nate wasn't going to be left behind.

"Alright, I'm back." Marinette sounded a little too breathless, "What did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing, take your time. You should enjoy it."

"Uh, okay. What should I do with my speech?"

"Well, you are good at speaking, so you should probably talk about the technological advancements that were coming into place in the early 1900's that made this war out to be what it was. Hey, after this presentation, we should all go out for lunch or dinner or something."

"That sounds good! So, technology, anything else?"

"Yes. You'll want to talk about how the military was essentially the primary focus of the country. Have you ever read 'All Quiet on the Western Front?'"

"Uh, maybe once a few years ago. Was there examples of militarism in it?"

"Yep. The military got the best food, and all these boys who were about our age were pushed right out of high school and into the military by their teacher. He kept saying that it was their 'Duty to the Fatherland' and that with a few more troops the standstill would be done out with and Germany would be on the march to Paris."

"Luckily it didn't work out like that. German doesn't sound nearly as pretty as French."

"Well I mean, what if Germany had won the war? The situations that led up to Hitler taking power and willing the German people into doing all that happened during World War Two. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if all that hadn't happened."

"But if that had happened, then wouldn't Hit-" A hurried whisper was just out of earshot for Nate, "Really?! Uh, Nate, sorry, I'll be back in a moment." Nate huffed.

Nate played the video again and began sketching the male Ladybug. Therep robably wasn't going to be as much market for him, but that means that those in it will be willing to buy at a higher price. And, undoubtedly, the art would be more welcoming to a code of ethics. Comissions of males were generally either clean and fluffy, or lewd and sensual. Nate shrugged. _I'm definitely a little gay, and $20 is $20._ The Ladyblog didn't have a good shot of "Lord"ybug's mask either. He'd have to go looking around for it. It had to be somewhere. But, those green eyes contrasted incredibly with the red of the suit. It was striking, honestly. And the blonde hair was so nicely meshed with the suit as well. _Wait, there was a shot of Ladybug's mask._ He paused it and full screened it. Those eyes were different than Chat Noir's. Chat's were generally slits, like cat eyes, but here they were round. And by god, they were beautiful. The surefire grin was gone as well. It was almost like the two had switched personalities along with suits. Nate wondered if Alya had noticed. He'd bring it up later. But, that masculine face of Ladybug was giving him a sense of deja vu. He swore he had seen it somewhere.

"Okay Nate, I'm back."

"Oh, Adrien, excellent."

"We were talking about notes right? I don't think I'll need any. I've done some speeches without them pretty well, but just in case I'll make them."

"That would be great. In case one of us has to take over for you."

"Oh man, I hope that doesn't happen. It would be a really rude thing to do, and it probably wouldn't do well for my grade."

"I'm sure that Ms. Dutherlans would be inclined to hear you out at least. She likes you."

Nate took a sip of water.

"As much as you do, Nate?"

Nate spat up his sip of water.

"Oh my goodness you were drinking?! I'm so sorry! It was a joke, I'm so sorry!"

Nate cleared his throat.

"No no, don't worry about it. It was getting a little warm. A good mist of water to cool me down." Adrien chuckled warmly.

"Well then, I am happy to help. But hey, do you think th-" A gasp came from his microphone, "What? No my shirt! I can't still e blee-eeeuh I'll be back in a moment."

Nate sighed and sat back. What a good group. Reliable, punctual, and hard-working. Nate sketched some more, just pose practicing to kill time. He searched for a more quantifiable reason they were being interuppted so often. Parents, possibly? Marinette's would be catching the late dinner crowd, and Adrien… Well he said himself that he was alone most of the time. That couldn't be it They were having conversations though. He could hear bits of loud words here and there. Maybe his partners were going insane. Talking to themselves. Marinette certainly had nervous ticks enough to break the bank, and Adrien had reasons for it. Nate shook his head. How could someone that out of it be able to ct even a little normal. Nate's mind once again fell on to each other. They had to be with each other. It would make sense. Marinette fell for Adrien a long while ago, and Adrien, with his Ladybug fetish, would be viable to fall for Marinette easily. Nate had made so many comissions for Adrien. Adrien had nearly funded the last year of Nate's life. And, in nearly the same way, had funded Marinettes as well. Nate was a regular at the bakery. So much so that Marinette would give him discounts and gifts every once in a while. What gracious and generous souls.

"Okay Nate, I'm back! Sorry I took so long."

"I'm back too."

"Okay, then let's get this cranked out. Or should I take a break and come back in an hour?"

XXXXXXXXXXX (I could not be assed to put the two dots over Nate's second E. also, sorry this chapter is such low quality. We've really got a lot goin on and our minds are not 100% on this project. Thanks for being here anyway.)

Nate exhaled his final stop. He looked around at the room expectantly. It had gone well.

"Very good work. An excellent presentation, along with the speeches. All around, impressive." Ms. Dutherlans applauded, "It's a shame you all will be moving on so soon. I'd love to have more time with you all." Nate smiled, _I would rather spend time with a bar to my head._

"I'm glad you liked it, Ms. Dutherlans." Adrien clasped his hands behind his back, neatly covering the notecards he didn't use. Nate definitely did not notice the rump beneath those hands. Marinette gave an excited wiggle, and a smile.

"All right class, have a nice day. You are dismissed." Nate quickly gathered his group together.

"Okay, we're going out for something to eat. I haven't had anything except coffee for an entire day. Juleka, you can bring Rose. Heaven knows she'll magically show up there anyway."

"Sure thing, Cap'n." Marinette saluted him. Adrien's long arms wrapped around the group and pulled them in. His smile shut his eyes. Everyone blushed a little bit.

"I'm so glad. To be with you guys and to have such great friends. Thank you all."

"Adrien, I have a handkerchief if you need one."

"I'll take it just in case, Nate."

XXXXXXXXXXX (hey so N's 19 year old cat just kicked the fuckin bucket, and M has a whole bunch of crazy school shit to work on. We're likely not going to be updating this for around a week, maybe more, maybe less. We're not really sure. We'd like to thank you for joining us on this project, and we hope to see you for the next chapter.)


	13. Chapter 13: Fluffstered

"If I asked you to punch me in the face, would you do it?"

"Why would I punch you in the face?"

"Because I asked you to."

"Only because you asked me to?"

"Yeah. I want something that will knock me to the ground. I want a black eye that you won't be able to see under my mask, but it'll still be there. I want a bloody nose. I want to look like Antibug by the time you do that."

"Chat, I'm not going to punch you."

"Oh come on! If I actually asked you, would you do it?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to punch you! Not in the face!"

"I cannot believe this. No? For real?"

"No! Why would I want to punch you in the face?!"

"Because I asked you to! It's just a good knuckles to the face! I'm not asking for your first born child or anything!"

"Yes, but I don't want to punch you in the face. In the arm, lightly, because you made me angry, maybe. But, not in the face!"

"Oh my god. What if you punching me in the face would save my life?"

"Okay, I already occasionally do punch you when you get mind controlled."

"They say that hypnosis only works if you believe it works."

"That's circular logic. You believe it works if you believe it works, so it does sometimes work, so you believe it works, which means it works on you."

"You are so great at ruining my points."

"What points?"

"Dang, a two-fer."

"'And Chad Noir is down for the count after a quick right hook from Lay D. Bugg. He is not getting up from that one, Folks.'" Chat smiled.

"So, how has Summer vacation been treating you?"

"Oh my, has it been great so far. We are like a month and a half in, and that crush I talked about a few months ago and I have spent so much time together. I'm starting to really get used to him. I think I'm almost able to say a whole sentence without stammering!"

"It's still strange to think about you, Ladybug, stammering."

"Well, sorry to tell you, it is the truth. But, speaking of him, I'm actually meeting him for a late night movie in about… Two hours. And boy have I got to get ready, so you've got about 20 minutes left with me. How about yourself? How's break?"

"Uhm… Freeing. My workload increases, sure, but it can't block out all the time I have now. I've gone out a lot with a few friends. In fact, I also have a thing to go to in two hours. Who knows, maybe our events are the same!"

"Oh, I hope not. You'd try and scare my date away."

"Date, huh? Has it been made official?"

"Well, uh… No… It's not actually a date. It's just… Kind of like one. A girl can dream, okay?"

"You really reminded me of a friend of mine right there."

"Alya?"

"Yeah!"

"You read the Ladyblog too much."

"Her commentary is so great, though!"

"I entirely agree, but you can't live your life on it. Go get ready for your outing. Look nice. Maybe you'll find a girlfriend. Or maybe a boyfriend! Who knows."

"Anything is possible. If you were a man, I'd certainly be interested."

"I really hope no akuma ever does that. Your costume was already enough for me, I don't need your body too."

"Oh trust me, you'd enjoy showers."

"Okay, see you later, Chat Noir."

"Good night, My Lady."

XXXXXXXXXXX (True story, M would not punch me in the face. She just wouldn't do it. I was so saddened. So sad.)

Marinette's room was a mess. Clothes were strewn everywhere. Alya, and by extension Nino as well, made sure to duck out of tonight's plans. Something about a wildly similar illness that appeared very quickly. Knowing them, it was very believable. Swathes of pink collected in pools on floors and tables and chairs, with a few flung high up in the rafters. She'd probably need a transformation to get those down. Her phone sat unlocked, a single message on it:

 **Alya: So what are you wearing?**

It was a disaster. An absolute, honest to god travesty. Nothing agreed with her. Her go to's looked drab and boring. Too safe. Her flashy looked strange and cringey. Not safe enough. Too warm for that sweater, too windy for that dress, too tan for that top, too pale for that one. Marinette was on the verge of tears. She was out of time,

Adrien unlocked his phone and thumbed the message. Nino had a few messages with him, telling him that he was sick, so was Alya. At how flustered Nino got when Alya texted him was any idea, it was very believable. But, this had been planned for a week, so if Marinette was still willing to join him... Alya and Nino quickly made sure that he was still going with Marinette. His evening was still on, so it seemed. Nino texted him again.

 **Onion: So, what you gonna be wearing?**

A second text chimed,

 **Onion: Wait did you change my name from Onion yet**

 **Adrien: Uh, of course I did?**

 **Onion: Its not even an anagram of my name**

 **Onion: I only have one O**

 **Adrien Ok I'll change it.**

 **Ninot Noir: Thank you**

 **Ninot Today: Still what are you wearing to this evening outing**

 **Adrien: I'm not sure. It's like 20 degrees out, right? Can't be anything too warm.**

 **Nino Way In Hell: Yeah dude it is July**

 **Onii(no)-chan: But you gotta look gooooood, man**

 **Adrien: Nino, I'm a model. I generally look good. At least 97% of the time.**

 **Nine Iron: I want u 100% of the time bb**

 **Mr. Cesaire Eventually: i have a feeling you are just repeatedly changing my name to dumb puns and jokes**

 **Adrien: That is preposterous.**

 **Oh niNooooo: dont lie to me**

Adrien tossed his phone on his bed. Grey jeans, a pocketed t-shirt, and a black open button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Perfect, relaxed, and still good looking. Just like Adrien.

She couldn't deal with it. She was growing out of pink. It was most likely just today, but she had to go with something else. She eyed her closet cautiously. She had a fallback. But, was it too much? Sure, she wore something just like it nearly every day, but… would someone realize it? Would Adrien? She had essentially made it as a joke, she never expected that she would wear it. Certainly not with Adrien. She slid her hand into the closet and drew it out, It was her saving grace and her mortal wound.

XXXXXXXXXXX (We are looking for applicants to fill in a third position in a Team Niche cuddle puddle. If you would like to apply, please send a resume to our business tumblr teamniche)

Adrien slowly paced by the ticket booth. He was early, of course. Three minutes waiting, one minute to go until the time agreed upon, and then, knowing Marinette, ten minutes of waiting after that. He pulled out his phone. Nino was off on a tangent, Alya had a "Good luck have fun!" message from about 30 minutes ago, and Chloe was inviting him to another event. He had skipped the last two, this was one he had to attend. Of course, having 5 event invitations a month was not an incentive. Scanning the paragraphs of introduction, Adrien heard a small cough. He glanced up to perfection. The wind blew her dress in the perfect waves, pulling the fabric around her curves. Adrien's trained eye scanned the dress, the skirt ending just above the knee, absence of sleeves revealing strong arms, the black collar low enough to show off a glimpse of collarbones, and… that shade of red. Spanish red? No, Lust. How appropriate. It nearly matched the color of her face, but those blue eyes stood out, contrasting brilliantly. A cool wave against a burning scene. Adrien became conscious again and closed his mouth.

"Uh, Hey!"

"H-How long were you planning on staring?"

"As long as it takes to drink it all in. I mean, Wow. That dress is incredible! Did you make it?"

"Yeah! I-it took a while a few months ago. I, uh, had to have Alya take my measurements to have it fit the r-right way."

"Well, you did fantastic. Both of you. Like… Jeez." Adrien held up both of his hands to her, "Hold on, would you mind if I take a closer look?" Marinette's face grew a bit redder.

"Uh, o-of course." Marinette shakily took his hands and allowed him to turn her. He took close looks at the seams on the sides, the connection of the skirt and top, and, although he would deny it, the muscles in her arms.

"My goodness. My father would applaud you. It's amazing."

"Th-thank you. Should we buy our tickets?"

"Oh yeah. That's important."

XXXXXXXXXXX (N's requirements are as follows: 1. you must be a cutie, 2. you must be a cutie, 3. you must be a cutie, and 4. you must be a cutie)

"I have to say, one of the most remarkable things about that movie was the respectfully sized female cast. There were what… 8 named male characters? And then… Furiosa, the six wives, the older ladies, that's like… 10? 11? That is remarkable in this day and age." Adrien waved his hand to emphasize his point.

"Huh… Y-Yeah, that actually was pretty nice. Actually close to the real ratio of 50/50."

"That was named, though. There were hundreds of War Boys. That kind of tips the scales."

"But, they were minor characters. Except for the one with two tumors and his lancer, maybe Furiosa's right hand man or whatever, they never were named. They were essentially just there to die. Speaking for the narrative, of course."

"That's quite a good point. For narrative and characters that actually mattered and had lines and names, it's balanced." A breeze rolled by of the night air, making Marinette shiver. She looked good, but at what cost? Adrien looked over at her.

"Are you cold? That dress doesn't offer much in the way of warmth, I guess."

"Yeah… A-a little bit. Don't worry about it though."

"No no, I am pretty warm normally. I can share." Adrien put his arm around Marinett'e shoulders and drew her closer, "Is this alright?" Marinette suddenly had no problems with her temperature.

"Y-y-yes! It's g-great! Good! Ffffine." Marinette felt a little dizzy. Her arm tentatively snaked up and circled his waist. Marinette was out of control. Her heart was a flurry. The redness on her face threatened to overflow and stain the sidewalk they were walking on. _You are ladybug, inside or out._ The burning on her cheeks did not vanish, but her trepidation did. She gripped Adrien a little tighter.

"So, what's next for t-tonight, sw-sweetheart?" She tried to use her best joking tone. Adrien grinned.

"Well, Darling… It's nearly ten, so some restaurants might still be open. Do you want to stop for a bite, or save your mouth for me later?" Marinette could make the sun jealous with her heat. She channeled her own inner Chat Noir.

"Oh, c-can't I do both?"

"Oooh, I like a girl who knows what she likes. Where would you like to stop? I'll cover it."

"If y-you're covering it, some cheap cafe. I can't be too much in your debt."

"No, no. It's my treat! Consider it a… Very late birthday present. Yours was in March, right?"

"Yup! The 21st." Adrien blinked and looked over at her.

"Huh. I have a friend with that exact birthday." Marinette held her breath.

'Who?"

"Oh, you don't know her." Marinette held her breath longer.

"Her?"

"Yup. It's not like that. She's incredible, but… Not a chance that would happen, it seems." Marinette let her breath out.

" _Thank god I don't have to share you."_ Marinette looked ahead for a moment, then turned back to see Adrien smirking at her. Did she say that out loud? She definitely said that out loud.

XXXXXXXXXXX (M's requirements were not told to me so i dunno, i know 90% of you are here for M, i know i am, so like, sorry. send in those applications, yo)

Marinette buried her head into her pillow and squealed. If you looked past the stammers, looked past the blunders, and looked past accidently spilling her water all over the both of them, it went perfectly. At least as perfectly as it could with Marinette being half of it. She rolled to the side happily. The moon shown through the window, casting a shadow on her bedroom floor. She thought back over the night, each memory bringing a little more warmth to her face. Her phone chimed. Alya's notification got her up.

 **Alya: Sooooooo? Tell me tell me tell me!**

Marinette took a moment to smile and collect herself.

 **Marinette: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**

 **Alya: I'm assuming that means happiness and not murder.**

 **Alya: Or does it mean devestation? You're making me worry.**

 **Marinette: It was so good! I wore THE DRESS and he was awestruck by it, and then he complimented it, and then he took my hands and turned me in different ways and looked at it and it was really sweet and i nearly died right there and oh my god alya i love him**

 **Alya: That's a little strong for a first "date".**

 **Marinette: OH MY GOD IS THIS A FIRST DATE?**

 **Alya: It kind of was. I'm guessing you didn't just go home after he lookd at your dress, what happened next?**

 **Marinette: Okay, so we watched Mad Max like we all planned to, then we walked to a Cafe a few blocks down the street, and it was a little chilly so he wrapped his arm around me AND I WRAPPED MINE AROUND HIM WHICH IS LIKE, WOAH! And then i am at least 90% sure that we flirted with each other but i do not really know what flirting is exactly and I was nearly dying the entire time, so I am not actually sure i understood what was going on.**

 **Alya: I bet he flirted with you. I'll get Nino's story. Keep going!**

 **Marinette: Oh my god that might kill me if he was flirting with me.**

 **Alya: It would be worthy of your demise.**

 **Marinette: Alright, then we went into the cafe, and I wasn't paying attention to where it was or what it was named, because like, woo, a literal model is my arm candy, but we sat down and he ordered two things like as soon as we sat down, without even looking at the menu, and he was so kind to the waitress it was just adorable. He striked up a short conversation with her, she was working there part time to help her younger sister go to college this coming fall.**

 **Alya: This boy is almost too much of a cinnamon roll. That is not the thrilling conclusion that I am looking for.**

 **Marinette: Okay, okay. So, after that we ate aND WE SHARED FOOD HE HAS REALLY GOOD TASTE BOTH DISHES WERE INCREDIBLE, and then he slipped the waitress something and wished her well and then he walked me to my house! UGH WHY IS HE SO PERFECT?**

 **Alya: Everyone has to have some negatives in them. Is that it? No good night kiss?**

 **Marinette: Do you want tomorrow's headline to be: "Marinette Dupain-Cheng found dead, Adrien Agreste manhunt begins."?**

 **Alya: It would sell papers.**

 **Marinette: No. He sent a text to his driver on the way there, walked me to my door, gave me a nice plain hug, and walked to his car right as it pulled up.**

 **Alya: Awww… Boring. I was hoping he at least slipped you a little tongue.**

 **Marinette: There's always next time!**

 **Ninothing like the real thing: so how was date night dude?**

Adrien leaned over to look at his phone as he hung up his shirt.

 **Adrien: Oh it was pretty nice. Wedding is tomorrow. You're my best man, right?**

 **Ninoob: when the time actually comes, of course. but really what happened?**

 **Adrien: Uh, we watched the movie, walked to a cafe, ate, then we walked to her house.**

 **Kony(no) 2012: and what did you do at her house?**

 **Adrien: She proposed of course. Had a night of passionate, sweaty, loud handholding. I hugged her and said goodbye and to have a nice night.**

 **Noot Noot: is that all**

 **Nissan Ultino: i expected more from you. Did you at least hit on her enough?**

 **Adrien: Uh, but of course, my dear. I was actually really suprised! She flirted back pretty well. Certainly more than she is used to.**

 **Childish Gambnino: wow really? i think i owe alya about 20 bucks then**

 **Adrien: I can always lie for you.**

 **Smells like Teeno sprit: bro you would do that for me**

 **Adrien: After you tell me why you bet against me. You know me! I can flirt! I can flirt the socks off a cow.**

 **The Second Mr. Agreste: cows don't wear socks, adrien**

 **Adrien: Oh, my moostake.**

 **Ninjo: god damn it adrien**


	14. Chapter 14: Going on an AdVANture

"Sorry to wake you, mom. I'm heading out."

"Mmmph… This early?" Mrs. Cesaire looked at the clock, reading a nice 4:52 am.

"Yep. Gotta get there early to enjoy it!" Alya gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "Pass my love onto dad when the bear rolls out of bed."

"Mmm… Gladly…" Alya strolled out of the bedroom and met her little sister waiting for her.

"And what are you doing out of bed?"

"Shh… I wanted to see you go." Alya picked her up in a hug.

"Well I am glad you did. You are the big sister now, alright? Keep Erique from making a fool of himself, make sure Rachael drinks her milk, and be certain to read to little Baron when you can. And, last, but not least. Share the love I give to you with them."

"I will, Alya."

"Excellent," Alya smooched the top of her head, "Then I bid you adieu. Get some more sleep. You don't need to be up this early." Tillia trudged upstairs as Alya picked up the last of her bags and locked the door behind her.

Alya popped the hood open. The transmission fluid was good. Lower than optimal, but good enough. Oil was perfect, she had refilled that about a week ago. The coolant was a little too low for her liking. Especially since it was likely to be a very warm drive. A few short pours later, and Alya was satisfied. She had checked the brakes and the lights last night, and made sure all the charger ports worked, except that one in the back. When the speakers were replaced, someone had fucked up somehow, and she couldn't figure it out for the life of her. Oh well. Nino couldn't complain, half the stains in her van were from him. That, and Nino would likely do very little complaining on this trip.

Alya softly closed the hood, remembering that it was barely 5 am. She gave Nino a third wakeup text, pulled up her route on her phone, and started up the engine. The AdVANture had begun.

XXXXXXXXXXX (I already uploaded this once. please work. Sorry for a week off, could not be assed to update.)

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, Mari. The ovens are off. It's 5 am, and we haven't even started baking yet. They are off."

"And the goods are out?"

"Everything we have left over for the early birds are out. Do not worry."

"The change in the drawers is all set as well?"

"Marinette…" Tom sighed and blinked slowly, "We should be the ones worrying, not you."

"It's just, this is the first time in 17 years that this Bakery has ran without me for more than a day! I don't want to come back and find a pile of ashes were my home once was."

"And we don't want that either. Don't worry about us, we have been doing this for a while."

"I know, Mama. Wait, did I pack sections T through W?"

"Yes. I helped, Mari."

"I think I forgot the suntan lotion."

"Top pocket of bag #2, Sweetie."

"Do I have the gas money for Alya?"

"You put it in your wallet yesterday so you wouldn't forget."

"Where's my wallet?"

"In your purse."

"Then, where's my purse!?"

"It's in your hand, Marinette." Marinette stopped and looked at her purse. Her arms dropped and she huffed.

"I'm going to shatter in ten minutes." Sabine let go of Tom and embraced Marinette. A quick peck on the forehead with Sabine on her toes, and they caught each other's gaze.

"Marinette, you will be fine. We love you, and if it is necessary, we will come get you. But, you are a very able young lady. You will be fine. So trust yourself." Tom gathered them both up.

"Or relax, whichever comes easiest."

"Mama, Papa, I don't think I know how to do either of those." Two chuckles, one warm and large and one cool and small, surrounded her. Alya's van pulled up to the curb, and her voice drifted out.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng, I'm here to elope with your daughter!"

"No need to elope, you have our blessing!" Marinette quickly kissed her parents and put her bags in the back of the van.

"Adieu, Mama! Adieu, Papa!" The van sped off. Marinette leaned out the window and waved, receiving slow waves as well. The van turned a corner and disappeared. After a moment, Sabine spoke up.

"Do you think we can get it on before the first customer comes?"

"Knowing how long it's been, definitely.

XXXXXXXXXXX (i don't want to have to write these dumb things. there are like 8 section breaks. maybe more. imagine.)

"Number 10, you have the correct directions on an extra device?"

"Nathalie, I trust Alya. But yes, I do. I also have 10a, a paper map in case an EMP or something goes off. And 10b, a compass. Even though they will never be used."

"It is better to have and not need than need and not have, Adrien. Number 11, you have the gas money that was accepted on?"

"Yes, I do. In my wallet."

"Number 12, you have plenty of suntan lotion?"

"Yes. I have enough to drown in. I can't get too tan, and I can't stay too pale. I also have number 13, the palette of acceptable tans. I will make sure I stay in them."

"Then, number 14, you have the tickets for the event?"

"Yes. I emailed them to myself as well, I have the hard copies in my small bag, and I also have the contact information to get extra copies in case something happens to ours."

"Number 15, you have gone over the in depth maps of the residence and know it to heart?"

"Yes, Nathalie, I could find my way around that house blindfolded, even though I have never been there. I know the combination for the panic room, the second combination for the panic room, the secret chambers and tunnels, and in fact, the whole place seems like a voyeur's wet dream. I'm almost appalled." Nathalie paused for a moment.

"Number 16-"

"Nathalie. Yes. I went over this list three times already on my own. I have everything I need!"

"Adrien, this list is for your well being. Your father drafted this list up for you, the least you could do is go over it once more."

"Number 16, condoms, yes, I have them, even though I will not be needing any and Alya likely has twice as many as I do."

"Excellent, Num-"

"Number 17, the Tailor's card, yes, have that, 18, all numbers on my own personal list, yes, have those, 19, the new Agreste swimwear line I am supposed to try out, yes, have that, 20, extra Agreste swimwear for my friends, yes, have those, 21-" Alya's van pulled up to the gate and Adrien picked up his bags, "Alright, Nathalie! See you later! I'll call you if we need anything! Give Father my regards when you see him! Goodbye! Farewell! " Adrien nearly leapt into the back of the van, "Please go very fast."

XXXXXXXXXXX (A lot of myself, N, went into this next section. Personal experience of a bad time is great for your writing career, I guess.)

Ping.

Nino's eyes slowly opened. He was sprawled out over his bed, sheets and blankets cascading over and weaving through his limbs. A small dim light lazily blinked. Nino concentrated his three functioning brain cells, and willed his arm up to touch it. His phone lit up, nearly blinding him. 4:37 am. Alya texted him. He shut his eyes for a moment. What day was it? Saturday? Sunday? Friday? Hell, it might be Monday for all Nino knew. All the days seemed to bleed together. Nino opened his eyes again. 4:43 am. A finger messed up his lock combination once. Twice. Third time's the charm. 30 seconds until he can try again. Nino groaned and rolled on his back. He blinked, but his eyes couldn't make out any features in the pitch black sights his room held. Why would Alya text him this early in the morning? He went to sleep two hours ago, what was she expecting? Was she in danger? Did he forget an obligation? A 5 am booty call? Nino rolled back to his phone and unlocked it.

Alya: Time to get up, night owl. Your tunes are needed.

Oh right. The road trip. Nino looked at the clock again. 4:43 am. Still? Nino rolled over again. Were his bags packed? Yes, Alya skyped him last night and made him pack. The tunes were ready, he had a whole set of playlists, with branches off those ones based upon the reactions to the song. He had an entire plan set up just in case they hated every song he played. Right when they saw the sea, Nino would leap out of the car off the cliffs. He had it all planned out. He would play "Untitled" by Simple Plan, and be in the air right when "How could this happen to me?" came up. Did he really have to go? Today was a nice day to lay in bed and do nothing. So was yesterday. And the day before. And tomorrow. Alya wouldn't take it. Alya would kick down the door and drag him, naked, kicking, and screaming, into the van. It would be better to just go and sleep on the way.

Nino needed a shower. And to brush his teeth. And to shave. All three he had let go of for the last few days. He slowly slid off his bed, picking up his phone off the charger on the way. His feet disturbed the silence as they hit the floor. The darkness made him fumble over the clutter in his room a few times, but he made it to the door.

The hallway was almost as dark and silent as his room. Nino trudged down, his feet sliding on the carpet. The only noises were made by him. He entered the kitchen and pressed a button on the coffee brewer. Another excellent thought by Alya. The machine grinded to life, and started dripping into the carafe. Nino exhaustedly ambled to the bathroom. He picked up a ziplock bag and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste. He set out his razor and deodorant, and turned to turn on the shower. Start out warm to relax, go to hot to massage, end with cool to wake up. Nino stuck his toothbrush in the stream, put toothpaste on it, and wet it again. Certain that the temperature was optimal, Nino stepped in and started brushing his teeth.

Ping.

Nino blinked, his hair soaked, dripping, and stuck to his face already, and opened the door of the shower to look at his phone. Another text from Alya. He dried his hand and unlocked his phone in two tries. 4:51 am. Eight minutes? Really?

Alya: Do I have to pull you out of bed? I'll do it. I'm like an amazon.

Nino set his phone down on the top of the toilet again and continued with his shower. He opened his mouth to get some water in it, and swished it around. Spitting it out at his feet, he set his toothbrush down on the toilet on top of his phone. He picked up the soap and lathered his body down. He felt his curves and sighed a little. Self image was a bit hard when your best friend was a model. Nino had considered it before. If Adrien asked, he would be willing. He was pretty sure that the situation would never happen, but, if the way he talked about Chat Noir was anything, maybe Nino just had to wear a nice leather jacket. He'd have to pick Alya's brain about it. She was pretty open.

He rinsed off and turned the water colder. The water knocked the breath out of him. It got cold quickly. He forced breath into himself, then let it out. A few more repetitions, then he turned the water off. Nino shivered as he dried himself off. He dried his face off first and picked up his pre-shave. A minute and a few whiskers later, Nino rolled his deodorant on his body and left his bathroom. He needed some clothes. And something to eat. What did he eat yesterday? Nino couldn't remember. He brushed the thought off.

Jeans, a belt, socks, and some black converse. A white t-shirt and whatever button-up he could find. He pulled a blue shirt off his floor. A minimalist cartoony eye decorated the front. Nino remembered when he wore this shirt nearly every day. How his style had changed in three years. It's a shame his mind hadn't. He pulled a beanie over his drying hair and walked back out the door with the shirt in his hand.

The coffee machine gave a soft beep. He filled a cup and took a sip. Strong enough to melt a spoon and pry his eyelids open, perfection. A note was on the counter.

"Have fun on your trip! We'll be working late when you get home, sorry. Stay safe! -Mom & Dad."

They usually left around 4, came back at 6, ate, and slept. It would make sense that they didn't see him off. He wondered why they thought they were ready for him six years ago. He took another sip. One more year until it didn't matter. At least now he had Adrien, Alya, and Marinette. More than he could say for most of his life.

He poured himself some off brand cereal and filled the bowl with milk. Two days till it expired. The milk flowed to the lip of the bowl.

Ping.

Alya: I'm leaving my house now. You had better be ready when I get to you.

Nino huffed and typed a response.

Nino: up showered and caffiniating. you get the whole nine yards

Nino took a bite. And absentmindedly chewed. Golden Grahams. The cereal of cardboard and stale businessmen that are trying to appeal to a younger demographic. Before he knew it, Nino had finished his bowl, and had 340% of his daily fiber.

Ping.

Alya: Alya said a dirty joke that I am not going to type out. Glad to know you're coming along! We're picking up Adrien, then we'll get you. 5-10 minutes! -Marinette

His bowl was set in the sink and rinsed. He downed the rest of his coffee and poured the last of the carafe into his cup. He looked at the clock on the wall and blinked, realizing he hadn't put on his glasses this entire time. He checked his phone and walked to his room. On his nightstand he picked up his glasses. In the darkness, he knocked something on the floor. He reached down with a groan and picked the object up. Bubbles. He gave a soft grin. Might as well bring them along.

Ping.

Alya: Adrien asked Alya to drive fast. We're here. I'm afraid. Please come out.

Ping. Ping.

Adrien: I have no regrets, and also please marry Alya.

Adrien: She is so extreme. It's great.

Nino's grin grew. He walked out of his room and picked up his bags by the door. He gave the dark rooms behind him a final look. He took a breath.

"Goodbye."

XXXXXXXXXXX (But honestly, M, my co-author who doesn't read these, saved my life. I owe M essentially my life. Seek out your friends. Self-made solitude is not a way to heal.)

"Nino, it is too early for Trap music."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that as well as look insulted."

"I am looking for something smoother. Then you can amp it up once the day goes on."

"Alya, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think we should take a break."

"Fine by me. Marinette, Adrien, you two are my girlfriends now."

"Shouldn't I be a boyfriend?"

"Adrien, back your brother up!"

"I'm kind of with her, dude. In more than one way, since Alya is my boyfriend now. It's not even 7 am and you are trying to play Trap music. You have to start us out with some ambient or something softer and slower."

"Marinette, you're my only hope. Save me."

"Uhhh…"

"You have nailed my coffin closed. Fine. I had a friend send me a vaporwave mix. Will that appease your irritated souls?"

"As long as you don't blast it, sweetheart. I gotta drive here."

"Aye aye, Cap'n turning it up to 'Deaf by 24'."

"Nino."

"But only called that sarcastically. It's also known as 35%."

"That's better." Nino turned to Adrien.

"I can't believe you, bro."

"Was I supposed to lie to you?"

"We're practically married! You're supposed to support me!"

"Then you are supposed to support me too! Nino, you can play trap music at noon. Then I will support you. Right now I need to wake up."

"And nothing better to wake up to than Trap! It gets you electrified!"

"It's like jumping into the Arctic. Sure, you'll wake up, but you'll also die of hypothermia. Ease us in, man." Nino huffed and looked out the window.

"Ooookay. Starting at 8, I am switching to progressive house. Then electro, then trap. You cannot take that away from me." Nino lifted his coffee cup to his lips.

"I hardly know what those mean, but okay. Thank you for coming with us, Nino. Sorry for stalling your thunder."

"Don't spoil him, Adrien. He likes it rough." Nino spit his coffee up.

XXXXXXXXXXX (I mean i'm not a psychiatrist. i don't want to be that is like egh, bad job bad job.)

"Alya, we need to stop."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"I need to pee."

"No, Nino, We just stopped not even an hour ago for you to go; you don't need to go again." She reasoned.

"No, Alya, we definitely need to stop because I need to go too," Marinette piped up.

"Oh Mari you can't be serious," Alya protested.

"But it's an emergency," Marinette pleaded leaning over from the passenger side, blue eyes widening to complete the puppy face.

"Ugh...fine," Alya relented with a groan.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold up. You won't stop for me but you'd stop for her?" Nino asked incredulously.

"SHE wasn't the reason we stopped last time. And besides, I could use it as well. So, just in case someone else doesn't speak up, maybe you should drink less water."

"I gotta be hydrated, miss. Lord knows you don't love me for my rough, sandpaper-like skin."

"You're right. I love you for your boyish charm and your supple hips. Perfect for popping out all the children I am going to put in you." Nino shut his mouth and blinked as the car pulled into the rest stop. Alya, Marinette, and Nino hopped out, Marinette jogging to the bathroom. Adrien sat on the hood of the car, looking at the large expanse of flat nothingness around them. Just a lot of fields and farms as far as the eyes could see. He checked his phone. Still a few hours from Nice. They were almost halfway there. Still plenty of time for Alya to get fed up and drive them all off a cliff. Adrien moved to the passenger seat. His demise would hopefully be in the arms of Ladybug, not in a flaming car at the bottom of a cliff.

XXXXXXXXXXX (anyhow, a few of these sections are true stories, or roughly based on truth. go on a road trip with your mates, 10/10 would recommend.)

"Adrien, is that a cop merging on?"

"Over there? Why?"

"I'm going 34 over, Adrien, why do you think?"

"It does kind of look like a police car."

"Shit. Nino, watch my blindspot."

"On it. You're clear, but there is a BMW back there and a Toyota pickup a lane over."

"Alya, maybe you could just slow down instead?"

"Oh but Mari, then we would get to Nice that much later."

"The beamer is accelerating, hurry it up, Alya."

"Wait, I'm not so sure that's a police car."

"I'm moving anyway. The farther away we are, the better."

"Hold on, look out for that logging truck!"

"I see it, don't worry!"

"Guy, I don't think that's a police car."

"The beamer is tailing us now, Alya. The Toyota is far behind and forgotten. Go for it."

"Here we go!"

"Alya, you're going 167!"

"I know, I know! Calm down!"

"No, you calm down! We don't need to go this fast!"

"We're shaving off two hours at this speed, Marinette! Let me live my life! I drove to Berlin going 190, this is fine."

"There is no speed limit in Germany. It's pretty nice."

"Thank you for backing me up, Adrien."

"Was that him backing you up? Nino, was that Adrien backing Alya up?"

"Huh? I haven't been paying attention. This BMW is really neat. I'm not sure why it is following us so close at this speed."

"It's not a cop, is it?"

"If it was, it would have pulled us over 30 minutes ago."

"Unless the Corps Urbain are hiring 90 year old women, I don't think that's a police officer in that white car over there."

"Wait, so it isn't a cop?"

"No, I do not think it is. Especially since they are going about 100 kilometers per hour. Isn't this a 120 zone?"

"Yes it is. So, you are absolutely certain that isn't a cop?"

"I am absolutely certain that is not a cop. She is more likely to be delivering cookies to her grandchildren than delivering criminals to a cell."

"Adrien, I love you bro, but you sound like the fictional 50 year old white man that a 30 year old white male author would write."

"I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment."

XXXXXXXXXXX (like alya, i also speed heavily. if only i didn't rear end that flatbed truck and screw up my hood. then i could go so much faster in my 2001 baby blue toyota sienna minivan. gotta get my kids to soccer practice fast.)

"Is this…?"

"Is this what, Darling?"

"You didn't."

"Please use your words, sweetheart.

"Nino."

"I don't know what you're on about."

"This is Darude Sandstorm."

"Whhhhaaaaattt? Darude Sandstorm? What's that?"

"I'll turn this car around. And I'll stay at your house. And sleep on your couch. I'll make you clean up the whole house. And your room. And vacuum it."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Change the song."

"Okay, Alya, just… Calm down, okay?"

"Change it."

"I won't change art. This is history. It's a legend."

"It's shitty!"

"You did not just call Darude Sandstorm shitty."

"Alya. come on," Adrien reached a soothing hand to rest on Alya's arm, "Let him have his fun. You can get him back by playing country music or something. I'm pretty sure the house has a sound system." Nino's eyes widened.

"No, wait, please, I'll change it. I'm begging you." Alya met his eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Too late, Buckaroo."

XXXXXXXXXXX (it's high noon. what is low noon? is it like, midnight? mccree you have some questions to answer.)

"Oh, that was my stomach."

"I thought we brought a bear along for a second. That was loud, Mari!"

"We did bring a bear. It is I, Nino the Bear. Roar. I'm also pretty hungry. Can we stop for something?"

"There's… uh… A nice diner 3 minutes away. Looks like… British and American breakfast food? Brunch? Sandwiches?" Adrien shrugged.

"Why's there an American diner out here in Nowhereville, France?" Marinette's eyebrows scrunched up.

"Either we're really lucky, or it's a cop out by the writers."

"Three minutes away? The way I drive, it'll be 90 seconds. I want to be on the road again in 45 minutes or less. Get your orders ready now."

"That's evil! I need to look at a menu! Get the tummy to choose, not the mind."

"That explains a lot then. Mari, what are you getting?"

"Uhm… Maybe some pancakes? I definitely want like two sides of bacon. I am craving it pretty badly."

"I want some hashbrowns. They have gotta be my favorite breakfast food."

"What about you, Nino?" Nino paused, and his head slowly turned to meet Marinette's.

"Everything."

XXXXXXXXXXX (I really like breakfast food. probably my favorite food type.)

"Nino can y-"

"I called shotgun. I'm not moving."

"B-but… Can I like…"

"Mmm mmm. No can do. I'm busy navigating and playing music."

"Nino! Th-There's… I don't know i-if I can handle-"

"Marinette! You are a strong independant woman who is able to do whatever the hell she pleases. Or whoever the hell she pleases. Also, HOLY SHIT IS THAT THE SEA." The front seats were crowded with two more heads, excitedly looking forward to glimpse the water.

"Where? I don't see it."

"Right over there! Between those hills."

"Oh woah, it is. We made it dudes!"

"There's actually like an hour and a half to go. Even more counting traffic."

"Traffic?"

"Three car accident blocking most of the eastbound lanes."

"Oh god damn it."

"I'll get some Tycho ready to play, I guess."

"The good news is that the road goes right by the sea, so we'll have some views. And probably a nice breeze. Aaannnddd… We'll have a better look at the sea as soon as we get past… That mountain." As the car rounded a corner, a mountain came into view.

"Wow, that was really well timed."

"I know, I even surprised myself."

"So, what's our ETA?"

"Uh, with how fast you drive… 2ish?"

"What? That's like, two hours from now! We should only be 30 minutes away, right?"

"If you judge by the distance and our speed, 30 minutes, yes. But if you judge by the absolute mess that is ahead of us, Hour and 38 minutes."

"I can pull out some of the cookies I baked for the trip."

"Oh let me. I've got longer arms. Which bag are they in?"

"Uh, th-the pink one."

"Marinette, all three of your bags are pink."

"R-right, right. The, uhm, the one over on the l-left over there. Sorry! Right."

"I'll go where you point, not where you say. This one?"

"Yeah. Second pocket. That one, y-yeah." Marinette turned back to find Nino grinning at her and Alya smiling. She had sure made progress, but her mind kept wandering to the week and extra day ahead of her. Those 184ish hours were particularly daunting. Could she keep her mind together for that long?

She sighed and looked out the left window at the trees passing by. This was a long road. A long road for a long drive for a long trip for a long lasting problem. She made a list for the first dinner. Just some sandwiches, but it would be nice to wow everyone. Bread, certainly. But what kind? She'd have to look up a bakery near where they were staying. Probably just something cheap. Unless Adrien wanted to come along and pay for it. She mentally chastised herself. Adrien had already paid for lunch, argued to pay for more gas than everyone else, the house as well, brought a big pack of water bottles, had a grocery store run planned when they were all unpacked… Marinette couldn't let him take anything more on himself. Mr. Agreste had said that the card should be used, but still. Being any more of a burden than she already was being was something she couldn't stand for.

Three gasps came from behind her. She slowly spun her head to look out the right side. Trees and buildings passed in front of the view, but that was certainly water. Marinette clambered over to the window, on top of Adrien, to try and get a better view. Adrien leaned back. It was far away, but it was almost the most welcome sight Marinette had ever seen. They had nearly made it. Marinette stayed pressing her face and hands against the window for a moment. A hill got in the way of the view, and Marinette slowly moved back before becoming aware of herself. The heat on her face grew as she looked over to meet Adrien's amused smile.

"Enjoying the view?" Whether it was the sea or Adrien, Marinette struggled out her answer.

"Uh, y- I… y-yes. Mmhmm." Marinette shot back to her seat and smoothed down her pants to try and calm herself down.

"I'm glad. It's open to you at any time."

XXXXXXXXXX (rent adrien's lap at $45 per hour)

"I would kill a man for 10 feet of clear space."

"I would kill 10 men for 1 foot."

"I wouldn't kill anyone for any amount of distance because I'm not a murderer?"

"I-I have to go with Adrien on, uh, this one."

"Marinette, use your sunny disposition to put us at ease and get us through this."

"Wh- Sunny disposition?" Alya shrugged, "Well… Okay… We could play a game. How about I Spy?"

"I spy with my little eye something red."

"Is it your vision?"

"The brakelights ahead of us?"

"Your future career path?"

"No, no, and hopefully. Keep trying."

"Alya, give us a hint."

"Nino, give it a shot."

"Me in about 3 seconds." Alya turned to Nino and gave him a wink.

"Is it that weird stain up there?"

"Nope."

"That car over there?"

"Adrien's supple lips? Lord knows I've noticed them."

"Thank you for the compliment?"

"Any time, bro."

"Is it the ladybug charm on your phone?"

"Woo! Mari, you are lucky. Your turn."

"Oh, okay. Uhm… I spy something… White."

"Is it Adrien?"

"I was going to guess me too. Thanks for stealing the words out of my mouth."

"Won't be the only thing stolen out of your mouth by the time this trip is over."

"No, it is not Adrien. Not that it wouldn't be. I-I mean not that I think y-you aren't like worthy of being chosen- I-I-I I MEAN…"

"I get what you mean, no worries. Is it the clouds?"

"N-No…"

"Is it that car next to us?"

"Is it this white chocolate cookie?"

"Is it Adrien's perfectly white, marble chiseled lookin teeth?" Nino turned around in his seat and batted his eyelashes at Adrien, "I've noticed, doll."

"I hope it isn't."

"It isn't anything to do with Adrien."

"I was going to guess his fashionable, excellently form fitting shirt next, but now I won't."

"Oh, is it Alya's piece of paper up there on the visor?"

"Y-yep! Your turn."

"Good eyes."

"Thank you, Alya. I spy… Something brown."

"Is it me?"

"No Nino, it's not you."

"Is it me?"

"It isn't you either, Alya."

"Is it that shitty 1992 Peugeot over there?"

"Gosh dang it. Yes, Nino, your turn."

"I spy with my little eye something green."

"Is it my eyes?"

"I wish it was, bro."

"Worth a shot."

"Is it that car over there?"

"Is it a tree?"

"Is it my Chat Noir charm to match my Ladybug charm?"

"No, no, and no. This one will be very difficult."

"Did it already pass?"

"Nope. It will be in view of all of you until we get to the house."

"Is it that other stain over there?"

"Can you stop pointing out stains in my car."

"At least none of us are asking where they came from."

"Thank you for that, by the way."

"Oh, is it Adrien's bag?"

"Nope."

"Hmm. Difficult? So it's small?"

"Nope. It's pretty big if I do say so myself."

"Is it your ego." Alya gave him a half-lidded look.

"Almost, sweetheart."

"Oh wait. Is it you? Green with envy because Adrien is so damn handsome?"

"Guys…"

"You got me. That is in fact what green thing I spied. I'm sorry Adrien. You could woo the socks off a cow."

"It was a saying, Nino."

"What?"

"Okay so, I was talking to Adrien-"

"Oh god."

"Adrien, shhh. Daddy's talking. Anyhow, he said," Nino scrolled up on his phone, "And I quote, 'I can flirt the socks off a cow.' And then, when I told him about the usual attire of a bovine, he said, 'Oh, my moostake.' Like, really? I trusted him." Adrien snickered.

"It was a good joke."

"I like it." Alya grinned a little, "Wait, so did I win?"

"Oh shit, yeah. You did. It was me, Green with envy. Like a turtle or something."

"Or a frog. I spy, with my little eye, something golden."

"Adrien's perfectly sculpted hair."

"Two can play at this game. Nino's beautiful eyes."

"The medal Adrien is going to win for being #1 bro forever and always."

"Nino's heart. Solid, 24 carat gold."

"Adrien's future engagement ring, compliments of yours truly."

"Just Nino. In general. Positively golden…" Adrien reached a hand forward and lightly brushed Nino's cheek. Nino closed his eyes and leaned into it.

"Adrien already won. It was Nino's eyes."

"Oh." Nino scooted away, "I can't believe it. Stealing that victory."

"Just like I stole your heart, hmm?"

"Exactly the same."

XXXXXXXXXXX (I'm an ordained minister, I can marry these two. unfortunately it isn't going to happen in our fic. a shame. M can we make it happen pls)

"Wait, where do I go?"

"Slow down, first off."

"Do you even know me?"

"Okay then, Stay left here. Then move over there."

"There? Okay. Then what?"

"Stay to the right. And then, stay right even more." The rest of the car was silent. Adrien was halfway in the front half of the car, glancing down at his phone and using the best of his ability to navigate the winding roads. He clicked his teeth.

"What?"

"I think that's right. Yeah, right. Here! Here here here."

"Okay, jesus. Then?"

"Uuuhhh… Go straight. Keep to the left, the road kind of forks. Stay straight for a while."

"I'll never go straight. Bisexual or nothing."

"Sounds nice. When you can, take a left. Should be coming up right about… Here? Yeah, here."

"Oookay. Then?"

"Straight, and then a right when you can no longer go straight."

"So up there?"

"Yyyyup. That is supposedly a really nice restaurant. Okay, go right here."

"Hold your horses, pretty boy. There's a car speeding along here. Probably an Italian. Owp, what do you know, Italian."

"Then we stay on this road for a bit. Man, that is a lot of boats."

"Do you think Mr. Spooky-mob-boss guy that we are borrowing this house from owns one of them?"

"I wouldn't doubt it, and he isn't a mob boss, he is an Italian businessman."

"Sorry, Signore Aspoochi-mob-bossio. Can't let that semester of Italian go to waste."

"Okay. But for real, I don't think he's a mob boss. He probably has mafia connections, but I doubt my father would knowingly affiliate with a mafia member."

"Whatever you say."

"Also, if we could sneak onto that estate there, they have a nice harbor that would be a great place to hang for a bit. I can knock on some doors."

"THAT estate? That is like, seventeen times as big as my house!"

"Yeah it's pretty big. I'll check through the contacts my Father gave me around here."

"Contacts? Bro, you sound like a secret agent."

"I mean, I have a mission. That is a nice looking harbor. Oh! Take a right here!"

Marinette and Adrien had been looking at the architecture of the area. Ladybug would likely have some difficulty, definitely a lot of gliding would be needed. There was not a whole lot to hook on to around here. Chat Noir, however, would have a field day. Clay tiled roofs? Close-together buildings interspersed with trees? Nearly uninterruptable avenues of movement? Perfect. The only bad thing were the colors. Orange roofs, green plants, white buildings, no black to camouflage into. And with how clear the whether was supposed to be, there would be no shadows to use.

"Aaand, there is the gate. Let me hop out and punch in the code." Alya pulled up to the gate and stopped as Adrien opened his door and jogged up the gate. He held up his phone next to a keypad and pushed at least 12 digits. He stepped back and looked at the gate, which slowly lurched backwards. Adrien opened his arms and beckoned the car in.

"Welcome, my friends, to the time of your lives."

XXXXXXXXXXX (M is essentially 100% of my impulse control. i dont do dumb shit because M wouldn't be happy. That said though, gonna do some dumb shit and M is going to be unhappy but there will be no proof that I did it. None at all.)


	15. Chapter 15: A Nice Evening

_Pooofm._

The bed was just incredible. It was perfectly supporting, hard where it needed to be, soft where she wanted it to be. Just like a good lover. She smoothed her hands over the comforter, making blanket angels with a face-splitting grin. The blinds were down, but the room still felt so… So… Nice. She stood up and sauntered over to her window. She was on the third floor, towards the south. Perfect for overlooking the water. The boys didn't mind, and Alya was willing to take the room to the north, so Marinette got the best room. Furthest from the kitchen, furthest from the door, but all around incredible.

 _Knock. Knock_

Marinette turned at the sound to see Adrien leaning against the door frame.

"Enjoying the view?" Marinette nodded

"It's wonderful."

"Good. I'm glad you like it," Adrien gave a small sincere smile before continuing. "Alya and Nino are going to be in the leisure room down the hall after they unpack their bags. I'll see you there so we can start our planning session. Afterwards I was thinking we run to the store and buy some ingredients so we can make breakfast tomorrow and a quick and easy dinner tonight. Is that ok with you?"

"Sounds like a plan"

"Cool, I'll let you get to unpacking then." Adrien tapped on the doorframe as he left, Marinette staring in his wake. Marinette bobbed slowly on the balls of her feet, accelerating with every foot farther Adrien went way.

"Tikki Tikki Tikki Tikki Tikki I gotta marry that boy he is too dang handsome gotta put him in jail charges are: One count of Too god dang handsome for this young lady to handle. Jury unanimously agrees, Adrien Agreste, guilty as charged. 300 years marriage to Marinette Dupain-Cheng." Tikki floated out of a pocket with a crumb of a cookie in hand.

"You won't even live to be 300."

"You already are a lot older than that, though. What's it like? Do you have memory issues?"

"Actually, I really do. I have forgotten all about my current holder. Maybe I don't have one. I had better go find a new one."

"I doubt you'll find someone who makes as good of cookies as I do."

"Hmm… I think you'll do nicely! I have a proposal for you, miss! How would you like to be a superhero?"

"As long as my costume can be green, I'm in!" Tikki nearly gagged.

"Egh, green? Really? I am seriously thinking about leaving. Green has to be the worst color I have ever seen."

"Woah, come on, Tikki. You don't like it because it contrasts with red."

"That and Christmas. You should have seen Plagg and I in America during the 60's and 70's, They used Ladybug and Chat Noir as advertisements every year… Not even with their permission!"

"Wait, were they called Ladybug and Chat Noir in America? You'd think that he would call himself Black Cat or something."

"Lady Luck and Captain Calamity. Not as catchy, but fit the time."

"Captain Calamity? Just found a new nickname for Chat."

"Better than his first. 'Unlucky Lad' he said. My bug tried to convince him otherwise, but for three whole years he stuck with it. Egh."

"My god. Are all of Plagg's holders really stubborn?"

"It's a character trait he looks for. Shifty, speedy, skinny, stubborn, and sexy."

"You could have left that last one off."

"Well, sorry. But, quite often they are much different as superheros than in real life. Either they go from mean to nice, calm to rowdy, reserved to outgoing, like that or their inverses, or they barely have any personality at all."

"All of them are like that?"

"Well… Sometimes Plagg has to choose one in an emergency. So, 99%. His last one was peculiar though. Went from cold to barely less cold. What was his name…? God, I can't remember. How did he lose that one? I… I can't remember…" A few footsteps echoed up the stairs, and Marinette leaped to cover Tikki. Alya opened her door after a knock.

"Hey, we're waiting for ya. Were you talking to someone, I heard a voice." Marinette stumbled up a reply.

"N-n-nope! Just finishing up unpacking! Talking to myself, you know! I'll be down right after you."

"Alright. Adrien and Nino are hitting on each other, so you've gotta step up your game if either of us are going to get any amount of lucky during this trip."

"Ooh- uh… Y-Yes Ma'am." Marinette saluted and puffed out her chest.

"At ease, private. See you down there soon." Alya left the door open and walked downstairs. Marinette waited a moment and then set Tikki down in her bag.

"Back in a jiffy. Plus, I doubt I'll be needing you for this trip. Just sit back and relax. Sunbathe on the windowsill or something. We have a pool, just make sure you aren't seen."

"Marinette, I'm old enough to be you're great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-"

"Okay, I get it. Just, if someone got a picture of you, I would bet America would send a strike team, and I don't think Area 51 is very comfy."

"Yeah, it really isn't."

"I'm going to ignore that comment and go downstairs. Stay safe!" Marinette gave Tikki a quick nuzzle and hopped her way down the stairs into the kitchen. They were seated around the island, Nino and Adrien staring each other down sensually, and Alya sitting back on her phone.

"But even that majesty could not compare to your voice, dear. It brings tears to my eyes. Truly a blessing from the Agreste gods."

"Oh, but you hear this voice with your ears, and what wondrous ears they are. You create melodies that move the mind to bliss and move the eyes to tears. Your mind is the best part about you, quickly and closely followed by everything else." Alya made a gagging noise.

"Damn dude. I can't beat that. You are just too much for me." Alya looked up, and quickly slid in next to Nino.

"Okay platoon, what are our plans?" Marinette took the sole empty seat next to Adrien.

"Well, it's only barely 3:30. We should get started on dinner around 4 to 5, but that means we have an hour and a half to kill. We could go somewhere." Nino groaned.

"No more car for today. The beach is right across the street, right? We can hear it from here."

"I'm with Nino on this one. My butt is still kind of sore." Nino stifled a laugh and Alya whacked his arm, barely hiding her own smile.

"Wait, what?" Adrien scrunched his eyebrows and Marinette sputtered.

"I-I oh my g-god! What, are you guys? Four?"

"Ahem! We can't go to the beach right now. We don't have anything to eat. So, grocery run first, boys. Then you can film your homoerotic sand volleyball montage. We have plenty of time, plenty of flexibility." She snorted a little and quietly added, "But Mari's gonna have to cram a lot of flexibility in there."

"Oh my god." Marinette rubbed her forehead and Adrien chuckled.

"Say, Marinette. If you need some help stretching, I'll always be available." Marinette slowly looked into Adrien's eyes and met his wink. God she was going to destroy that boy.

XXXXXXXXXXX (you guys im sorry it took so long to upload. we have no excuses.)

The four friends walked into the Auchan hypermarket. Nino slouched as he pushed the cart.

"So how many meals are we going to have to cook?" He inquired.

"Well I was thinking we could eat cereal for dinner tonight so that leaves breakfast tomorrow, maybe go out for lunch then make dinner that night, all three meals for the next 2 days, just breakfast and lunch on day 5, nothing on day 6, and let's go out for dinner on day 7 and make breakfast on day 8 before we leave. So that means 13 meals. Six are breakfasts, four lunches, and three dinners."

"Why did you plan it out that much?" Nino drew away from Adrien slightly.

"My entire life is plans, regimens, and structure. It comes naturally and feels wrong when it isn't there."

"I'll allow it, and it won't even affect how much I love you."

"What did we want to make for those meals?" Marinette asked.

"Well, what can we make?" Adrien pulled a few pieces of paper and a pen out. Nino spoke up first.

"I know breakfast like a long time lover. I can handle all of those. But for other meals I can only cook bland british food. It's easy and cheap, though." Alya took a sheet of paper and began writing ingredients.

"I can make a killer lasagna. We have a pressure cooker, right?"

"Yeah, I saw one in the house I think."

"Then that is my dinner for one night. You all had better be hungry. I'm used to cooking for six big mouths and frequent guests."

"Hmm, hey Mari, what kinds of food can you bake? Maybe we can use a few for breakfast." Alya suggested.

"Oh I could make cinnamon buns and have that cover breakfast for a day? Maybe pair that with some French toast. I would need to buy the white bread for that though."

"You work in a bakery and you're telling me that you can't make white bread?"

"I make pastries, not simple breads, Nino."

"Why don't we have you do that for breakfast on day 3, Mari?" Adrien asked.

"That works for me!"

"Alright, brodarling mine, how about you tell us every meal we have planned without leaving a sole detail out. I love hearing your voice."

"Well it looks like for day two we can make some pancakes and waffles, go out for lunch, then come home to some Alya made lasagna. Then day 3 have some of Mari's cinnamon rolls and french toast, then order pizza for lunch and probably finish the rest for dinner. Day 4 will consist of eggs and sausage, onigiri, and my cod for dinner. On the 5th day we'll start off our day with parfaits, then make some turkey wraps for lunch, no dinner needed because we'll be out at the tailors and it'd be more convenient to eat out. Day 6 we'll be gone all day so no need to worry about that; and Day 7 we can just use all of our remaining ingredients to make ourselves things before we head back on day 8. Sound good?" Adrien looked around for approval.

"I wasn't actually expecting you to read out everything in such detail. I meant it sarcastically."

"Adrien, ignore Nino, what do we need to get?"

"Alright with what we have planned we're gonna need to buy some cereal," Alya jogged away, "2 dozen eggs," Marinette ran off, "one pack of 12 sausages, a thing of ground beef," Nino sprinted down an aisle and quickly came back with the meats, "a giant bag of mozzarella cheese," Nino disappeared down an aisle as Alya came back with a box of cereal, "a packet of pasta, some noodles," Marinette joined the cart with the eggs and Alya flew towards the pasta and noodles, "spinach, one bag of flour, one bag of sugar, some powdered sugar," Marinette tagged a panting Nino's hand and sprinted behind the group, "a gallon of milk, some orange juice," Nino quickly walked towards the refrigerators after mouthing butter to Alya as she dropped her items in the cart and squatted down into a track start, "2 ounces of ground cinnamon, a 2 ounce vanilla bottle, a carton of butter," Alya waved to Marinette and took off towards spices, "one loaf of white bread, one 12 ounce bottle of maple syrup, six English muffins, a box of pancake mix," Marinette narrowly dodged Nino as she ran towards the bakery section in glee, "some strawberries, blueberries, raspberries," Nino and Alya shared a crisp hi-five as Nino took off, "whip cream, a tub of yogurt, a bag of granola," Alya sucked in a breath and ran as hard as she could. Nino and Marinette peeked around a corner at Adrien, "one packet of 16 pieces of bacon, lettuce, an avocado, some deli turkey slices," Marinette ran towards meats, Nino jogged to produce after looking at the list, and Alya nearly slammed into the cart, "swiss cheese, mustard, cream cheese with chives," Alya wiped the sweat off her head and slapped Nino's butt as she ran off. Nino dropped a few tomatoes, a cucumber, lettuce, and an avocado in the cart, "a tomato, a packet of 8 wheat tortillas, cucumbers," Nino looked at the list and dove down a lane as Marinette unloaded into the cart, "a bag of rice, some seaweed," Marinette tagged a gasping Alya in and in turn leaped away, "tuna, and apples," Adrien paused to take a breath and bit his lip. Alya quickly reached over and picked up a few cans of tuna. "And if we want we can get some ice cream or other fruits." Nino and Marinette slid back to the cart, Nino sweating heavily, Marinette rearing to go.

"Other fruit? I like pears and bananas, I'll get a few of those."

"K… Kiwi's… please... " Alya leaned raised her hands behind her head and sucked in deeper breaths. Nino groaned and sat down on the ground.

"Okay, I'll go to the d-" Adrien looked up and stopped, "What the fuck. No like seriously what the fuck where did all this come from?" Adrien looked at Nino and Alya, "How the fuck is this possible when did this happen this is-" Adrien put a hand to his forehead and whispered, "What the fuck."

"I want icecream. Chocolate and peanut butter. Two cartons." Nino waved at Adrien, "Go, go, fetch boy… fetch…"

"I want some sherbert. I have burned off those calories."

"I… Buh…" Adrien sighed, "Okay…"

XXXXXXXXXXX (but since my finals are coming up soon, that means way more free time. so more updates!)

"Nino, you don't need to carry all those things at once just take multiple trips."

"No. That would be admitting defeat, Alya. I am strong like a shetland pony." Nino continued to stubbornly carry the 6 bags up the driveway into the kitchen. As if the world wanted to spite him in his ambition, all 6 of his bags split open spilling all of its contents onto the ground. "MOTHER-"

"I really hope you don't have a mommy kink."

"Nope, just a restraints kink so far."

"Thank goodness. I thought the handcuffs I packed would get no use." Nino stopped in his tracks and slowly looked up to Adrien.

"Bro, I'm sorry, but you have to understand."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Adrien's hand shot to his heart.

"Yes."

"Yeah okay sounds good." Adrien continued into the house with his bag.

Alya laughed, "Let me help you get that," she bent down and began to pick up the groceries.

"Thanks, babe," Nino sighed as he bent over to pick up the mess. Alya scooted closer to him and whispered.

"Sooo, now that the bromance is out of the way, you think our other halves are going to get something going?"

"God I hope so. Something has been dredging over that boy for the last month or so. Marinette really cheers him up. We've gotta work to set them up."

"Mmm… I'm thinking we'll be too busy to focus on them, sweetheart." Alya gave Nino a quick peck on the cheek, "But yeah, we can see what we can do. Hurry on up, we've got cereal to cook."

"You don't cook cereal…" Nino muttered to himself. He picked up the last of the dropped groceries, stuffing his pockets full, and walked into the kitchen. Alya was already pouring herself a bowl as Marinette and Adrien finished putting the food away.

"I got cinnamon toast crunch, by the way. I hope you all don't mind."

XXXXXXXXXXX (or maybe i have just lied to you all again and we will continue to have our shitty, irregular, drawn out update schedule.)

The water brushed past her toes, pulling the sand away from her skin. It swished past her heel, stilled, and swept back out in front of her. She let it lap over her feet a few more times, then looked up. Adrien and Alya were looking at the houses around the bay, strategizing no doubt. Nino was sitting closer to them on the sand, his head and feet bobbing to a mental tune. Another wave washed over her feet.

It was bliss. The evening rays of the lowering sun hitting her face gave it a pleasant warmth that only a lover could best. The cool breeze blew her hair and balanced the heat perfectly. The water gave her a nice shock every few seconds and her feet sunk deeper into the sand. Adrien walked up behind her and stood next to her. Alya discreetly snapped a few pictures.

"Enjoying it, Mari?"

"Yeah…" The seagulls and the waves filled the silence between them. Adrien gave a small chuckle.

"Can you believe it? After next year we'll be attending university," he turned to look at Marinette, "Where do you plan on going after college?"

"Central Saint Martins in would be nice," she responded dreamily while gazing off into the setting sun, "If not there then Kingston University or the Fashion Institute of Technology are great choices too. And if none of those schools accept me, then the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising wouldn't be too bad either. I could get a minor in business there and return to my dad's bakery if it turns out I don't have what it takes to be a designer," she finished with a nervous laugh.

"You can handle it. I believe in you," his assurance prompted Marinette to look over at the model. His beautiful green eyes met her sky blue ones with an intense affection. The prospective designer tore her eyes away from Adrien.

"Oh,..w-why th-thank you. You're too kind. What about you? Where are you planning to go?"

"University of California-Berkeley is my number one choice, but if they don't want me then I can always go study physics at California Institute of Technology or the University of Cambridge. And if that doesn't work out then I can always fall back to modeling and managing my father's line and reputation."

"You want to be a physicist?"

"Well yeah I guess. I'd really like to work with theoretical side of physics. A major in astrophysics or particle physics would be perfect for me."

"Wow, you're so smart."

"Nah, I'm just a huge physics nerd."

"I hope you aren't trying to make any moves on MY man, Marinette," Nino came up from behind and stood right in between them. "And you, sir, better not be cheating on me," Adrien gave a soft laugh.

"I would be mad to cheat on such a such a fine young man such as yourself," the blond assured.

"Mmhmm, you best remember that too, pretty boy," Nino sassed. Alya followed Nino and subtly pulled him out of the way. She gave him a stern look, and tucked her hand in his back pocket. His arm rested around her shoulders.

"Wow would you look at that sunset," Alya remarked as she settled into Nino. The group nodded, drawing themselves together. It was going to be a nice trip.

XXXXXXXXXXX (i honestly have no idea thank you all for sticking with us.)


	16. Chapter 16: Home in a Heart

"So for four… It'd be… Three cups? Then a tablespoon and a half of oil…" Marinette rustled through the drawers for a whisk. Utensils… Also Utensils… Plates… Random junk… Papers… And, this one was empty. Like, pristinely empty. As if there had never been anything in it. A drawer opened behind her and she spun around.

"A whisk, right?" Adrien handed her a metal whisk as he rummaged through the drawer. Marinette daintily took the whisk and started stirring the batter. Adrien pulled out a second whisk and got out a bowl.

"Wait, what are you making?"

"We making both pancakes and waffles, right? I'll make waffles, you make pancakes."

"It's the same batter, Adrien."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You can use pancake batter for waffles and waffle batter for pancakes."

"Huh. I never knew. Do you have enough then? Nino and I eat a lot."

"I have 2 pancakes and a waffle for everyone. If someone doesn't want to eat theirs, then I'll shove it down my gullet."

"Okay. How can I help then?"

"Do you want a side dish? It'd be nice to eat something other than pancakes and waffles. Also, get the butter from the fridge and lay it out on the counter. It needs to warm up so it spreads easily."

"Uh, okay. What side dishes could we make?"

"We could dip into the bread and make toast, but that wouldn't go along well with pancakes. Bacon maybe? Sausage?"

"Bacon and sausage it is."

"They should be in the freezer." Adrien pulled two packages out of the freezer and set to work. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again.

"So… Uh, how did you sleep?" Marinette sighed.

"Incredibly. The beds here are better than life itself."

"Mhmm. They are nice." Another few moments of silence as pans heated up.

"Should we wake up Alya and Nino?"

"Alya should be up soon. I'm fine letting her take care of him."

"But he usually doesn't get up till 10."

"Then I guess he's not going to get any breakfast."

Marinette turned and looked at Adrien. He was still wearing what he slept in, but his hair was still a little damp from his shower. His faded red tank top set a stage for his incredible collarbones. You could buy that real estate, build a nice cabin up there, raise a family. See no one that doesn't share your last name for months. His arms held up each of the packages nearer to his face, his eyes switching every once in awhile. His lips slid to the side and he chewed the inside of his mouth. Marinette sighed and Adrien looked over at her.

"Uh, I'm… Calculating how to get them both done at the same time." Marinette shook herself out of her stare and turned back to her pancake.

"It, uh, it doesn't really matter if they are out at the same time. I'm guessing we're going to get a trickle of people in. Just set the burner for 6 and put a few in. 8 slices, 6 links. Alya doesn't like sausage." Adrien snickered.

"There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going to make it."

"Adrien. Please."

"Yes, dear?" Marinette came to a full stop. She was cooking, in her pyjamas, with the boy from the last 3 years worth of her dreams. It was so… Domestic. The heat rose to her face. She clenched the pan handle and froze up.

"M-m-m-Mr… Agreste…"

"Mm, I think Mr. Dupain-Cheng sounds better." Marinette froze harder.

"Wh-what?"

"Monsiuer Adrien Dupain-Cheng. It flows nicely, you know? I'm not sure." Marinette's mind was just screaming and alarms. Good alarms. Happy alarms.

"Well th-then… I, uhm, h-had better buy the r-ring quick." Adrien gave her a sideways smile.

"I'm actually not too partial to the new fad of white gold and that sort of thing. A simple gold band is perfect for me."

"Mmm… I don't know. On one hand, I'd love an extravagant ring that is just so fashionable… But on the other hand it would likely go out of fashion within a few years. And since I'm likely to be poor, that is too much of an investment to only be good for a little while."

"Already talking about weddings? You two work fast." Alya rubbed her eye as she leaned against the wall.

"Mornin, Alya."

"A-a-Alya! Uh! G-good morning!"

"You are a fox, Marinette. Trying to seduce this man without us here?" Alya faked a gasp, "I can't believe you." Adrien walked over and placed a hand on his chest.

"I am a pure man, Marinette, how dare you! Thou art a temptress that shall not have even a vesicle of my heart, nor any part of my love." He turned away and continued to cook, "I'm kidding of course. You can have both." Marinette felt the heat rising to her face.

"Oh man, a part of your heart. What a gift."

"Hey, I have good genetics in that regard. There has not been a single Agreste to have died from heart problems."

"If you married me, I'd very quickly be the first." Alya and Adrien stopped and looked at Marinette, absent-mindedly smiling as her pancake bubbled. She blinked a few times, then lost her smile and looked up.

" _Marinette._ " Adrien grinned.

"Oh my god did I say that out loud."

"Yes. You did."

"Mmmmmgggggbbbmmmmm… I'm putting cyanide in these pancakes. All of you are eating them."

"Only if they are as delicious as you, darling."

"Adrien! Stop! You'll kill her!"

"Sorry, sorry! I think the sausages and the bacon are done."

"Boy… The sausages are a little raw and that bacon is well crispy."

"Okay, correction, I think the sausages and bacon are fucked."

"Not th'firs' time i've 'eard that…" Nino trudged past the group to the coffee machine and plugged some buttons.

"Good morning, Nino!"

"Good to see you, Sleepy."

"'Food is almost ready!"

"Mmmmmggrrrmmmbblll…" Nino slumped into a seat and hit his head a little to hard on the table. Adrien winced at the noise. Nino didn't make a move.

"Nino? Buddy? You okay?" Nino didn't respond for a moment.

"Mmmmtir'd..."

"Tired but alive. Okay."

"Anyhow, what's the plan for today."

"Well… Today we get a free day, but I was thinking we would get up and go look around Nice. Tomorrow we can do beach runs."

"Wait, but we have to go to the tailor's tomorrow, don't we?"

"Nope, that is on the 27th."

"But that is after the event."

"The event is the 28th."

"The event is the 25th."

"Marinette, can you hand me the invitation on the table so I can show how correct I am?"

"Sure. Uhm… Adrien, It says the 25th." Adrien's smile froze.

"Oh fuck."

XXXXXXXXXXX (so, my co-author, M, is no longer my co-author. I didn't kick M out or anything, they decided it on their own.)

"Yes, I know that our appointment is the 27th. Unfortunately, the event that we need to be tailored for is on the 25th. This presents a problem. As I told the last person. We need to move our appointment up to the 24th. Yes. Mhmm. I know that that is tomorrow. Yes, my appointment has been set for over a month. Ugh… Yes. I would love to hold."

Marinette sat across the table from a pacing Adrien. He set the phone down on the table and slumped into the chair. His hair gently rested on the table. Marinette couldn't resist. She snaked her hand up to his golden locks of hair and wove her fingers deep inside. A little bit of a touch on his scalp and she could feel the tension leak out of him. His breathing slowed down with every brush of her finger. His shoulders slumped with every swipe of her thumb. She swore she could almost hear him purring. Slowly, his hand moved up and caught hers. He gently pulled it to his mouth and pressed a small kiss to the back of it.

"Thank you Marinette. It's been a while since someone's actually comforted me." He sleepily opened his eyes and looked up at her. Marinette could feel her sweat boiling off her cheeks. He kept holding her hands in front of his lips, his warm, slow breaths blowing over her skin sending small tingles down her spine.

"N-n-n-noooo problem!"

"It's really nice to spend all this time with you. The last few weeks as well."

"It's, uh, b-been my pleasure!" Adrien smiled and shut his eyes again.

"I'm glad."

A voice spoke up on the phone. Adrien rubbed his thumb over Marinette's fingers and let go of her hand. He picked up the phone and walked a short ways away, explaining the situation. Marinette slowly drew her hand back and looked at it. Adrien kissed it. He kissed it. Her hand. Adrien's lips. She briefly thought about pressing her own lips to the same burning skin, but she figured it would be too creepy. After what he did, it would be best not to scare him away. Adrien's voice suddenly stopped.

"Uh, yes? Signore Morietti? Yes. Very well, thank you, but we have a small issue… Yes, that's correct... The 25th… How? Oh, I read the invitation incorrectly. Yes, I know you don't have a space open, I was wondering if you could sqee- ...Well, it won't work on the 27th. We need to be there on the 24th… Four. Two dresses and two tuxedos, preferably matching pairs... What? Surely you can do someth- Hmm... " Adrien's voice deepened and grew darker, "I see. I suppose nothing can be done. Unfortunately then, I will have to cancel the 27th appointment... Oh, no, it won't be necessary. We have no reason to... No, we don't, but I can always look and see if Monsieur Marino has some space for us. Supposedly father was interested in his work... Yes. Marino... I agree... Yes, I would be delighted to hold." He glanced over with a smile and a thumbs up to Marinette, "Yes. Oh, an opening? Excellent. As I thought, you did have space for us. Are you certain that you can finish them in time? Really? Excellent. What time was that again? 3:30? Most excellent. I will. My father will be very pleased to hear from you. Alright. Alright. Thank you again. Ciao." Adrien breathed out, "Tomorrow at 3:30 on the dot. A second late, and we're out. We'll have to go to the event in bathing suits."

"That tone of voice back there was pretty frightening."

"Oh, yeah. I learned it from a runway manager. She was five foot nothing, but could make a pouncing tiger into a fancy rug with just a word. Just the _venom_ she put behind the words. It could kill a man. I don't do it justice, but it worked. We are saved."

"By the way, why do you and Nino need tuxedos? Is the event really that formal?" Marinette brought her cup to her mouth and took a sip of water.

Adrien opened and closed his mouth, then just sat watching her. He set the phone down on the table and drew his own glass close. She swallowed and looked puzzled at him. A grin grew on his face.

"The tuxedos are for you and Alya."

"Wait, what?" Adrien dramatically looked into the distance and drew in a large breath.

"For years, the crossdressing communities of Italy, France, and many other European powers have held serious power in the fashion industry. So, to commemorate their successes, they created an event. No one is allowed to dress as they normally do. Many people latched on. It is a time to experiment with Masculinity on a feminine frame, or laces and frill on muscles and hair. It is a time to step out of the box you were set in as a child and see what true equality is like by experiencing the other side. Every year, I go. And every year, I win. I am the prettiest every year. I would like to thank genetics for these supple hips and small waist, my mother for these big eyes and full lips, my father for this wondrous head of hair and these sharp features. And mother nature herself for the cha-" Adrien broke and started snickering to himself.

"That was all a joke, wasn't it."

"Yes, yes it was. But it isn't a bad idea. I should mention the idea to a few people at the event. It would certainly make a good fashion show. Having men model the women's clothes. Women modeling men's. It might be great for body positivity and the sort. But no, the tuxedos are for Nino and I. The event is half an awards ceremony and half just a normal party. The awards are for new, notable designers and their achievements in the last two years. It happens every other year, so in a way, it's a blessing it coincided with our trip. It will be really interesting for you, I think. Alya maybe a little with all the big names, and Nino might be intrigued here and there."

"What about you?"

"Well, my father got invited, but he is… A little socially awkward to say the least. Likes to work with the clothes, not the people underneath. I think the last event he went to was when my mother was still around."

"So he handed the invitation off to us."

"Mmm…" Adrien shifted his hands like a scale, "Kind of. He pretty often makes me go in his stead. With one of his new talents as a date. I'm not sure if he is badly being subtle about wanting very beautiful children very soon or just not wanting me to shame the Agreste name. Anyways, I'm essentially 50% of him, so I go instead of him. No one really seems to mind."

Adrien sat back and looked out the window. He drummed his fingers on the table and tucked a hand under his chin. He gave a quick sigh.

"What?"

"Uh… Sometimes I wonder if he would even make it to my wedding. If I had one." Marinette hummed.

"I'm sure he would. You've talked about him a few times and he loves you. He wants to see you happy." Adrien caught her eyes.

"Just like you, then?" Marinette's eyes widened, but she caught herself and a genuine smile shone.

"Yeah. Just like me." Adrien sat silently looking at Marinette for a moment.

"Uh, w-we should go get Nino and Alya, right? Now that I'm done with setting up the appointment?"

"Yeah. I'll go find them. Meet you in the car!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (So that's not great. Certainly affects my morale. I'll try and keep uploads going, certainly more on time than this one.)

"Welp, here we are, the Centre Commercial Nicetoile. What'd you guys want to do?" Adrien turned around and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking expectantly at his friends.

"Ooo, Alya," Marinette grabbed the girl's arm, "Let's visit Camaïeu! I bet the selection here is bigger than what they have back in Paris, plus they might carry Italian imports!" Alya's eyes lit up.

"Hell yeah! Let's go! You boys coming?"

"Nah, not our style. Nino and I are going to Celio Club. Catch you guys in front of Le Carrousel for lunch?"

"We'll be there," Marinette assured, beginning to pull her friend in the direction of the said store.

"Why are we going to Celio Club again? I never wear anything from there."

"Which is the reason I'm taking you. Celio has some of the spiffiest outfits that are guaranteed to make any guy look like a 10/10 hottie. I'm sure Alya would greatly appreciate it."

"Oh god, then I'll do it for Alya." Nino breathed, a smile played subconsciously across his face.

"Mhmm. When do you plan on making it official by the way?"

"I dunno, dude. Whenever the opportunity presents itself."

"And what exactly will that look like?" They had entered their destination. Adrien went over to the rack and began picking out different outfits.

"Hmm... I don't know that either," Nino gave a sheepish smile. "I'll just know, you know?"

"There are a lot of knows in this conversation and I know none of them."

"Same, amigo."

Marinette grabbed a leather jacket off the rack and draped it over her arm. "Oh boy. Alya's gonna absolutely love what I picked out for her," Marinette told herself as she made her way to the fitting rooms with several articles of clothing in tow.

"There you are, go try these on." Alya gave her a mound of clothing. "Try the mint dress first."

"Alright, will you help me into it?"

"Sure thing," Alya followed Marinette into one of the rooms and hung the outfits on the hook. "Oh my god, girl, you're sculpted!" She grabbed Marinette's bicep and gave it a squeeze. "I mean I see you naked enough, but never this close! What have you been doing?"

"Uhh...carrying bags of flour? They weigh like 40 pounds each."

"Na-uh, those arms don't come from lifting and that's a fact. You are way too lean for that. You look like an MMA fighter or a gymnast. It looks like you got ripped from fighting and flinging yourself. Wait, what's that mark up there?"

"Umm, scar from taking down a thief?"

"There's another one. And another! How many thieves do bakeries have?Now that I look carefully, your entire arm is kinda covered in them. Are you ok, Mari?"

"Yeah I'm fine. They are scars, not open wounds. Can we put the dress on now? It's getting kinda chilly" Marinette smiled sheepishly. _Was that too abrupt of a subject change? It was definitely suspicious. At this rate Alya's gonna figure out that I'm Ladybug. I gotta change the subject to something else fast._ "So how's Nino?" Alya blinked.

"I think it's going good," Alya let out a sigh as she began zipping up the dress. "I mean I like him a lot and we've had a lot of… experiences... together, but… I don't know. He doesn't exactly seem like he wants to make us exclusive any time soon, if at all."

"I'm sure he feels the same way, Alya. And if not then he's just too stupid to realize what he's got."

"Thanks Mari." Alya gave a small chuckle. "It looks like your muscular shoulders won't let me do the buttons on the top. Such a shame too. You really do look stunning in this dress. I'm positive Adrien would absolutely love it," a deep sigh escaped Alya's lips. With a sly grin, she opened her mouth again, "Almost as much as he's going to love you."

Adrien crossed his arms and leaned back. "I don't know man, I think it'll be pretty hard to time all those doves being released at the same time to surround and obscure the two of you from view,"

"Dude, don't worry. I got this. I'm actually getting my degree in Dove Time-ology." Nino called over the door as he finished putting on a navy jacket. "How do I look?"

"Wow, spiffy," Adrien admired as he circled around his bespectacled friend. "Shall we purchase it?"

"Nah. It's nice, but I'm sure we can find nicer suits and urban wear in Milan." Nino turned back into the booth, shutting the door behind him. "So what's going on with you and Marinette? That going anywhere soon?"

"I honestly haven't given it much thought. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's great and all, but... I don't know."

"What's wrong with Marinette?"

"Nothing! There's absolutely nothing wrong with her. She's loyal, kind, artistic, strong, ambitious, bright, intelligent, warm, talented, she can cook like a dream, and she's… everything a man could ask for in a pretty little package."

"Then why not make things official and be exclusive? Is there someone else?" Nino pressed.

"Uhh… Y-Yeah, kinda."

"Don't you dare say Chloé. If you do I will come out there and slap you."

"No. God no. I thought you knew me, Nino. Chloé is just a childhood friend."

"Then who is this other person?"

"That's the thing. I don't know who she is." Nino stepped out of the dressing room with his eyebrows raised.

"You mean to tell me you're going to pass up a girl like Marinette for some girl that you don't even know? How did you meet her anyway?"

"I-uh..ran into her. Yep! On one of my modeling jobs."

"How do you not know her then?"

Adrien began to panic. _Shit! How do I cover this up? I can't just come out and tell him that I'm Chat Noir and madly in love with Ladybug._ "She's the makeup artist," _Good one, Adrien. Keep it going._ "And my father and Nathalie don't want me getting too close to people on the job because they're worried that they would take advantage of me and ride on whatever fame and reputation I have amassed,"

"Dang dude. So how did you come to like her? Talking to her in secret behind their backs?" Adrien gave a small nod. "You sly dog. Tell me what's she like? She cute?"

"Very. She's incredible. She's graceful, brave, fearless, smart, and clever. Everytime I see her I get butterflies, even after 3 years they're still there. Then she looks at me with her charming eyes and I have to remind myself not to stare into them too long or else I'll get lost and never want to find my way back. And her voice strong yet soothing like the sound of waves brushing against the beach. Her spirit is as bright and radiant as the sun, yet soft like the light of the moon. She is compassionate and cares about everyone; constantly putting the wellbeing of others before herself. She's such a good and genuine human being that I can't help but think of her and how she's doing every night. I want nothing more than to be with My Lady, for better or worse, til death do us part." Adrien's eyes widened as he took in what he said.

"Whoa slow down, Romeo. You're 17, and you're already thinking about marrying this girl?"

"Well yeah. She's perfect. Perfect for me anyway. Yeah she's got her flaws, but they're a part of her and what makes her the person she is; and I adore every part of her. She's no angel, but I don't think I would want her any other way. Besides, it's not like I don't have any flaws either. She's definitely seen a few of them, but she sticks around anyway and is there for me when I need her."

"Damn dude, you're in love; and you in deep. Nobody can save you from this mystery makeup girl."

"Except that she is staunchly against getting serious."

"She actually said that? What kind of girl would give a pass to you?"

Marinette sighed as she and Alya collapsed onto the bench. "All these stores," She started.

"And nothing good to purchase," Alya finished. "Least we still have Milan, I'm sure we'll find something good there."

"Yeah you're probably right. What time is it?" Alya pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"It's 12:30. Shall we head to Le Carrousel for lunch?"

"Can we? I'm starving."

"Alright. The weather is really nice today. I wonder if we can head to the beach later after lunch." The girls got up and walked away.

"Mhmm. What do you think, 24 degrees out? That is perfect for a good competition."

"I heard competition!" Adrien jogged up in line with the girls and Nino walked up behind him. Alya quickly plotted a devious idea.

"Beach volleyball. A competition like no other. Three possible teams, so a round for each combination? Marinette and I versus Nino and Adrien, Adrien and I versus Marinette and Nino, and Marinette and Adrien versus Nino and I. That way we can see who is good with who."

"Adrien's team wins every time. I'm a prophet, and the dude looks straight out of a sports montage."

"You might be surprised, Alya and I have actually done a fair bit of volleyball. Keep your chin up, sugar."

"Mari, are you certain that you aren't the sugar? It would explain why you're so sweet."

"If you think I'm sweet, you should taste defeat, handsome."

XXXXXXXXXXX (in other news god dang there is no other news. im real bummed m8's.)

Alya reached down and took a handful of sand. She ran it through her fingers, her features becoming fiercer by the second. Seconds and sand slipped away, driving tension into the air. Alya licked her lip and looked up. Both of the boys looked unimpressed.

"This isn't a sports anime, Alya."

"Let me live my dream, darling. Marinette, shall we begin?" Marinette shook her head away from Adrien's open hanging shirt. She blinked a few times and lowered herself, digging into the sand.

"I would be delighted." Adrien smiled.

"Like someone stole all your lightbulbs, huh?" Three gazes turned to him, "Delighted. Get it?"

Alya slammed the ball home right next to Adrien. He scrambled for it and barely got his hand under it in time. Nino moved slightly to his left, right as the ball came down. He flashed Alya a grin, and hit it right into the net.

"Oh. That's harder than it looks." He kicked the ball lightly to Alya again.

"Now we know who to aim for." Alya winked at him as Adrien walked over to Nino.

"How did you hit that ball? Show me your arms really quick, like pretend you're going to hit it again." Nino put his arms together, "Oooh, okay, unlock your fingers. If you get hit too hard they can break if you hold them like that. Have your hands like this," Adrien showed Nino the correct position, "Get low, and use your whole body to hit it back up, not just your arms. I think it helps with aiming it a little. Alya, can we have the ball for like 30 seconds to warm up?"

"I suppose," Alya tossed the ball over the net into Adrien's hands, "But don't say I never did anything for ya." Alya walked closer to Marinette.

"Gotta marry that boy. So kind and helpful. So pure. Too pure. What if I taint him. Alya help me." Marinette hurriedly whispered as Alya wrapped an arm around her shoulders and turned her around.

"Focus on kicking his ass right now. Then you can think about how to marry him and smash that like Great Britain's economy if they ever left the EU."

"Is that… Good? Bad? What?"

"It would probably break the world a little bit."

"I don't think I want to smash that in that way."

"Do it anyway." The volleyball sailed over the net to Alya's hands, "Oh! You boys ready then?"

"No."

"Yep!"

"We're playing to 10. Score is 1-0 our lead." He tossed the ball up.

"So no chance of negating that f-" Adrien scooted over to receive the ball and hit it up towards Nino, "that first blunder then?"

"Not a chance. We're here to win." Nino hit the ball over the net, almost clipping the top. Marinette hit the ball to Alya, who flashed her a glance. Utter destruction or just a win? Leave nothing left. Alya set the ball in a high arc while Marinette sprinted up and leapt up towards it. Her hand sliced the air, her eyes moved, her mind channeled her force, smacking the ball right into Adrien's outstretched hands.

The ball landed behind Marinette, Alya frozen, staring at it. Adrien smirked and moved back to his position. The girls huddled.

"No more marrying him, you are going to kill that boy."

"I'm going to destroy him like the United States tried to destroy communism in the Cold War." Alya stopped and looked at her.

"So… Not very well?"

"No, the US tried really hard. They tried really well, they just didn't really do it. Which I guess in a way was fortunate."

"I don't think we should be discussing economic platforms and world history right now."

"I agree. Fake him out. I'll get it right to the net."

"Got it." Adrien took the ball to the back and gave it a light nudge to barely slide over the net. Marinette hit it up, Alya hit it over the net. Nino shakily received it, sending it high in the air back over. Marinette positioned herself underneath it and hit it towards the net. Alya readied herself as Marinette ran towards her position. Adrien snapped at Nino. Alya jumped to the ball, Marinette rose to the net, Adrien met her and began his jump. Alya lightly tipped the ball right over the net. Marinette flashed a dark grin at Adrien, whose shocked features soon mirrored hers. Nino hit the ball up and backwards. Adrien's grin vanished. That was pretty far backwards. Too far backwards. He hit the ground and sprinted towards the back. The ball spiraled just out of reach as Adrien slid on the sand. Alya thrust her hip out and layered on a mischievous grin.

"Two to one, sweethearts."

The air was cut so many times it was very irate and worried that it would never reach the front of the line. The ball had been hit and smacked so often it felt like it could no longer get covered by insurance anymore. The sand had been stepped on and slammed into so much that if it was a masochist it would be having the time of it's life. My humor got to the point where I can easily and blatantly break the fourth wall without really minding too much. The writer(s-ish) of this story got too bored and lazy to continue saying how the game went.

8-9. Marinette and Alya were up, but Nino had improved a lot in a very short time. Adrien was a good teacher. Tips were his expertise and demonstration was his dream. Nino used his advantage. Adrien set him up to push the ball right over Alya's head. Needless to say, she was frustrated, but it was the boys' serve. Nino and Adrien scooted backward and chatted a little bit.

"If I slide under the net and accidently kick one of them in the nuts, do you think it will make them angry?"

"Alya no."

"But look at how they are being! They are just snide assholes!"

"Snide assholes that we love."

"I mean, yeah, but still!"

"Think of it this way, when we win, it will feel that much better. We just need to score one point. They need to score two." Nino and Adrien separated, Nino taking the ball and moving backwards as Adrien stepped up to the net. His green eyes stared into Marinette's.

"Enjoying yourself yet, Darling?" _WOW MARINETTE LOOKS REALLY PRETTY WHEN SHE HAS BEEN ACTIVE LIKE WOAH DO I HAVE A TYPE? AM I JUST REALLY INTO MUSCULAR, ACTIVE LADIES?_

"Not as much as I'll enjoy winning, lover-boy." _HOLY SHIT I JUST SAID THAT TO ADRIEN WITH A STRAIGHT FACE AND HE IS EXPOSING A GOOD HALF OF HIS CHEST HOW AM I CONSCIOUS? GOOD WORK, ME._

"Are we ready? Should I serve it? I'm gonna serve it." Nino patted the ball a few times. He and his smirk looked towards Alya. He pointed at her and winked, then tossed the ball in the air. He leapt up after it and swung his hand down on it giving off a satisfying _THWACK_. The ball flew, Marinette and Alya shooting out a second too slow to receive it. The ball hit the top edge of the net, hung there, then fell off and bounced on the boys' side. Everyone was still.

"Well."

"Does that mean we lost, or…?"

"Definitely. I want to play with my boy, and I am already halfway to pooped. We'll skip the second team. Marinette, go over there with Mr. Model. We'll serve."

"Yes Ma'am." Nino and Adrien exchanged hi-fives and pleasantries, and parted, "Good game, Nino. You've gotten pretty good."

"Blame that blonde beauty over there. But thanks, I'm really gettin the hang of this. Good luck, Mari."

"You too. Soooo, Adrien, what are you thinking. You'll receive?"

"Hmm. I kind of want to slap one down right on Nino. Show him he still has a ways to go."

"Alya might be preparing him for that. Try to hit his hand and get it to land out."

"Got it."

Alya patted the ball and looked up, determined as all hell. She tossed the ball up, jumped up after it, and slammed it over the net. Marinette was about to say something to Adrien when he moved towards the net, exactly like she wanted. Adrien couldn't put his finger on it. He just _felt_ what she was planning. Even without a word. Marinette bounced the ball back up with her forearms and took off in a sprint. Adrien positioned himself beneath it, and his eyes darted to hers. There was the look. Silent sentences shared between pupils. Adrien leapt into the air, prompting Alya to race up with him. He prepared to spike it, but his left hand hit the ball instead, spiraling it to Marinette. Nino jumped before Marinette did, desperately trying to block. Marinette slammed the ball down, swishing it to the left of Nino, right out of Alya's reach. It all took place in mere moments. Adrien and Marinette hit the ground and looked at each other. They knew. They had found their partner.

For beach volleyball, that is.

"How did we just do that?" Marinette walked over to him, dumbfounded.

"I don't know! It was like I read exactly what you planned!"

"Your eyes just… Told me what you were going to do! It was incredible!"

"And my body just… Knew where to put the ball for you! It was like we've been partners for years! Ah, man! That was awesome! Pound it!" Their knuckles hit, both of them used to the movement, but not realizing where it came from. Alya grumbled from behind them.

"Fuckin… goddamn… superhuman power couple… Shit…"

"Sorry Alya, I wasn't able to block that. Didn't even see it coming."

"Me neither. Those two are on a whole nother level. It's impressive, but aggravating." Alya tossed Marinette the ball, moving into position opposite Adrien. Marinette weighed the ball in her hands, and served it easily to the back corner. Nino shakily bounced it back, forcing Alya to scoot backwards to hit it. The ball flew to the back left corner, Adrien running to catch it. Marinette barely caught a look at him, but knew instantly where he would put the ball. She rushed to his spot, rearing to go. Adrien dove and whacked the ball back up and towards the net, straight to Marinette. Marinette jumped up, surprising Nino into jumping as well. The ball slid into her hands, and she pushed it right back up, narrowly over Nino's fingertips. Alya tried to dive for it, but the ball lightly bounced just out of reach. Adrien scrambled to his feet and ran to Marinette.

"HOW? Like seriously! This is amazing!"

"I don't know! I just… knew! Like telepathy or something!"

"They are so in sync. So much so, Justin Timberlake would burst into stardom after they go on a 'temporary' hiatus."

"Alya, that was like, 13 years ago. But I understand. Lord knows I would cry if N-Sync got back together."

"Okay, lovebirds. Let's keep on playing. If we score 5 points I will class that as a win."

The sweat ran from every pore of Alya's skin. Her muscles screamed at her, but her mind was a silent calm. It was 9-1. All they had to do was score 9 consecutive points. So, if their other point was any indicator, Marinette had to slip nine times in a row. It was possible, right? Maybe unlikely, but certainly possible. Alya looked over at Nino. He really stepped it up when they hit 6. The last few volleys had been impressive, one lasting nearly as long as the whole game had. Nino's tank-top was drenched and he was panting. It would be good for him to get a lot of exercise. That boy had about as much muscle as an Oklahoma Sea Fisherman.

Marinette was serving. She tossed the ball up, seemingly let it hang at it's apex for a moment, then destroyed the ball with her palm. Alya saw the scene in slow motion. If was going perfectly, straight to the line, right where they had no chance to get it. It was going to be an ace. The final point an ace serve. Alya's muscles quieted, realizing what this meant. They had lost. She closed her eyes. An impact and a grunt came her way. Nino was on the ground, the ball was in the air. High. Before Alya could think, she was sprinting for it. It was far back, certainly out of bounds. Her legs threatened to give out beneath her. Her lungs scorched from within. But she ran for it. Every fiber of her being was focused on getting that ball. She skidded to a halt and turned, hitting the ball back up Nino was ready. He stood next to the net, furiously determined. Alya read his stance. This was hers.

She sprinted again. Each step begging her to quit and demanding she continue. The ball neared Nino. Alya leapt as Nino tossed. Adrien was there to meet her, but she had power, fury, on her side. Her hand impacted the ball, the resounding smack waking children the next town over. The ball rocketed, smashing through Adrien's defence, whooshing past his face, into the fist of Marinette.

Adrien hit the ground and ran, getting the ball back towards the net, ready for Marinette. But he read her eyes. This was hers. He pushed it a little farther pack for her to get, and readied himself at the net. She received it perfectly, the strain showing on her muscles as the sweat dripped off her face. Adrien set the ball to her, the speed in the pass whistling through the air. Marinette slammed the ball down, right into Alya's face.

Alya blinked. How had she gotten on the ground? Nino was hovering over her, Adrien was sprinting over with his bag, and Marinette was apologizing profusely. She looked to her side. There was the ball. Laying next to her. On her side. They had lost. She sighed and grabbed Nino's hand.

"We almost had it, didn't we, babe?"

"Almost."

"Are my glasses okay?"

"Yeah, but they were tossed off when the ball hit you. Might have a few scratches. I've got them. Your nose and mouth took most of the impact."

"So that's what I taste. What time is it?" Nino checked his watch.

"Uhhh… Edging past seven. Prime dining time."

"Alright. Adrien give me a tampon to shove up my nose or something, I've got a lasagna to make."

XXXXXXXXXX (Life goes on, I suppose. Thanks for stickin along. And now a rebranding from TeamNiche to just Ni)

Adrien put his dish underneath Marinette's on the couch side table. He'd clean them up later. Alya and Nino were on the other couch, closer together than they had ever been seen. In the dim light, Adrien wasn't sure where the boundary between the two bodies were. Marinette sat next to him, an exact 9 and 3/4 inches away. She came up with the value two years ago. How close can you sit to someone without creeping them out? Howl's Moving Castle was winding down on the large television. It was interesting, something that Adrien had never seen. The reaction to him saying that was less than pleased, and the decision was made.

Alya shifted and nuzzled in closer to Nino. She made a soft hum that Adrien barely heard, Nino responded with a smile and holding her a little closer. Adrien side eyed Marinette. It was nearly 2 am. Her eyes were drooping. She didn't have much awake time left. Adrien leaned back and spread out an arm, barely touching her shoulders. Let her have an out. I give a little, she gives a little, it's a bargain. Adrien was not very well versed in romance. Marinette stiffened at first, then leaned back into his arm and tilted herself a little closer. 8 inches.

Adrien digged in his pocket for his phone, checked it, and set it aside, subtley moving closer. 6 and a half. Marinette stretched her arms and back, and lifted herself off the couch to slyly scoot a small bit closer. 5 and a quarter. Adrien stretched his leg back and leaned back, sliding his whole body a little with it. 2.85 inches. Marinette rotated and set her back against the side of his chest, sneaking in the final distance. Adrien draped his arm down, his fingertips lightly brushing the back of her hand. They were comfortable. And, of course, nervous as all hell.

"Hey Alya."

"Mmm?"

"Do you want to make this official?"

"Like, become serious? You and me?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay."

Adrien and Marinette stared, open mouthed as Nino and Alya. They had never dreamed it would be so easy. Would it really be that simple? Surely not. Marinette and Adrien were too high class for that. They deserved more. So much more.

Adrien blinked. Why was he thinking of that? Why think about how to ask Marinette out? Adrien chewed the inside of his cheek and cast Marinette a sideways glance. God, she was stunning. She had never been this close to him. Would she say yes if he asked her? Marinette had gotten a lot closer to him over the last few months, but that didn't mean she liked him. He would probably never be sure. He just needed to put his heart into it and hope. How should he do it? Certainly not just like Nino did. He was an Agreste. It had to be… Agrande.

Marinette felt a small chuckle in Adrien's chest. Adrien's chest. Pressed right against her back. This is her dream. A few months ago, she would have fainted. Sure, her heart was going at a rapid pace, but she was calm. Adrien and her had gotten a lot closer, and with such, a lot calmer. His arm moved a little and brushed her hand. This was… Intimate… Wait, did Adrien realize what he was doing? Did he know how this looked? Did he… Want it to look that way? If he did… Did he like her? Did she want to be pinched or did she want to stay in the dream?

Marinette shuddered slightly. Adrien responded by pulling her a little closer. Was it cold for her? Adrien was naturally warm, so he hadn't noticed. But he had two things of warmth to enjoy. His heart and who had his heart. Adrien grimaced. That was sappy. Cheesy even. But he couldn't deny it. Being here, holding Marinette like this, it felt good. It felt right, where he was meant to be. It felt like home. Something he hadn't known for a while.

The credits rolled, and after a brief discussion, Marinette got up and put on The Secret Life of Arrietty. She rolled her neck, fullscreened the movie, and walked back to her spot. She took the opportunity to nuzzle in a little bit better into Adrien. She was going to milk this for all it was worth. His arm wrapped a little tighter. It was unmistakeable. And it was incredible. It felt like there was a little niche right here, just for her. A space only she could fit in. A home just for her. Her eyes began to droop. She blinked, and was now resting her head on Adrien's thighs. Since when had this happened? These thighs were comfortable… She was very tired… thank god for this boy…

Adrien's hand moved to rest on Marinette's head. The movie continued to play, but he only watched half of it. The other half was on Marinette. Her slow and light breathing mesmerized him. It calmed him like no other. His mind was clear. Utterly empty. He had never felt so at peace, so at one with the world. Marinette jumped a little and shook. A few more twitches and Adrien brushed her hair softly. The tremors went away as fast as they had arrived. Her lips slightly parted, slightly silently murmuring to themselves. Adrien lightly shook his head. Sleeping beauty wasn't a very romantic story, no need to try and reenact it. He looked away from the movie again. She was beautiful. The strong curves of her body elicited a sigh from his chest. It was all he needed to be right here.

It was perfection.

XXXXXXXXXXX (I'll slam this next chapter out, pals. I promise.)


	17. Chapter 17: Suit Yourself

"Nino. Niiiinnoooo. Wake up. It's time to get going."

"Mmmmmpppphhhhggrrbbll… Fi mur minnis…"

"I have given you five more minutes six times. I will drag you by your balls to the car if you don't start getting ready right now." Nino stirred and looked up at her with one eye.

"Yer a frightnin' woman."

"I'm your frightnin' woman. I have a cup of coffee for when you're done brushing your teeth. Step up the tempo, Mozart." Nino slid out of bed and dragged himself to the bathroom connecting to his room. He turned the handle of the shower and ran his hand through the water. A little colder, but it would shock him out of his standing slumber. He lifted the lid to the toilet and stopped. After a second of thought, he turned around and sat down. It was definitely more comfortable to sit. He reached over and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste off the counter and combined the two. He waited for an empty bladder. Two light knocks came from the door.

"You aren't asleep in there, right?"

"No mom. I'm peeing."

"Alrighty. I'm grabbing some things for you. Back in a moment."

"Okay…" Nino stood up, kicked off his shorts, and stepped into the shower. He slicked his hair back with water and stuck his toothbrush in his mouth. The water temperature warmed instantly as he turned the handle, soothing his shivers. He chewed on his toothbrush a little and scraped it against his front teeth. His mind slowly woke up. What were they doing today? There was a drive… To Milan… For the tailor trip? That must have been why Alya was so persistent. A knock on the door and Alya came in with some fresh clothes. The outfit was a little bit different from what he normally wore. More refined. Alya stood for a second, looking expectant. Nino turned off the water and peeked his head out.

"I'm naked."

"I know."

"And I'm also finished."

"Alright."

"And my towel is right there."

"Okay."

"Would you like to hand it to me?"

"Not really."

"Then why are you standing there?"

"I went to the bathroom at about 4 am last night."

"Incredible. I would buy that book."

"And on the way, I passed by your door."

"It is a nice door, isn't it."

"And when I did that, I heard a thud. So I open the door and there you are, writhing on your bed."

"Please hand me my towel."

"You were in agony. Asleep, but in agony. I tried to calm you down, and you shot up."

"Alya, give me my towel. Please."

"I tried to talk to you, and you waved me off. You were still half-asleep, but even then you won't tell me anything."

"Alya, I-"

"Nino. What was it." Nino stared her in the eyes.

"Towel." Alya grabbed his towel and handed it to him. Nino disappeared for a moment, rustled his hair and dried off some parts of him, then tucked the towel around his waist and stepped out. Alya leaned back against the wall and Nino sat down on the toilet. Clicking noises bounced sharply off the walls as Nino picked his fingernails absent-mindedly. He stared past his hands. Nino swallowed and took a breath.

"I don't really wan-"

"Please." Nino paused again. He breathed deep, exhaled, and took another.

"I- I never said… I've never told you a lot about my life." He paused and looked around at the floor, trying to piece his sentence together, "But uh… My parents… Well, you've met them. They don't… They don't look… Uh…"

"They don't look like you?"

"Mm. Yeah. Not the slightest."

"They both have pretty straight hair and very pale skin. I… I assumed."

"Yeah… Th-The dream was of… f… fire. It's kinda… common? Not the fire, but the… the dream."

"Not good fire, I'm guessing."

"Hmm. No." Alya moved to kneel in front of him and cupped his face.

"That's less of a dream, more of a nightmare."

"A dandelion by any other name would suck just as much." Alya pressed her lips to his forehead.

"Thank you for talking to me. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Thank you for being good at connecting the dots. You have no idea how much of a weight it takes off my shoulders."

"Journalists' talent. I'm always here for you, okay? Until one of us kicks the bucket. But, you need to get dressed, babe."

"Why does my outfit make me look like Adrien's slightly darker and chubbier clone?"

XXXXXXXXXXX (i love nino so much. Also sorry for the break, but this is 6000ish words so enjoy that?)

"Well, Nino, I think it looks great on you. Just like I thought it would." Nino shifted in his seat and adjusted his pants.

"These pants are like a castle that is unable to have a dance for partygoers."

"What?"

"No ballroom."

"But babe, they make your ass look great!"

"Duly noted, but I will take comfortable crotch over dashing derriere almost any day."

"You just have to wear it until we are done at the tailor's. You packed a change of clothes in your bag right?"

"Yes. The tackiest hawaiian shirt I could find, beige cargo shorts, Columbia thrift sandals and some white mid-shin socks."

"You monster."

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little." Marinette groaned into her palm.

"I'm heavily considering breaking up with you for just saying that."

"You should see me wearing it."

"Okay, Adrien, please navigate me to the nearest cliff. Marinette, hold Nino down so that he can't escape."

"How about, instead, we pray that isn't what he actually packed, and I navigate to Milan like I said."

"How far are we, by the way?"

"Uhm… Not too far. Only about 50 or so minutes."

"Are we in Italy yet?"

"Yes. We've been in Italy for nearly two and a half hours."

"Italy-ou what, I sure could go for some ciao." Adrien grinned and looked around, "Get it? I tell you what? I could go for some chow? Like food? Get it? I'm hungry?" Adrien pouted, "It was a good joke, guys."

"I'm happy that you're happy."

"Alya, break up with me so I can date Adrien and then break up with him for that."

"I'm not going to do that. He doesn't deserve you."

XXXXXXXXXXX (i need to lengthen my sections jeeeeesus)

"I feel like James Bond in the secret MI6 tailor shop. Or one of the Kingsmen."

"Mmm, yeah. I wish we had a James Bond that didn't look like a polar bear blinking in a blizzard."

"Dark Hollywood show me the representation in movies that mimics reality."

"As if. What is our color going to be?"

"For the dress and tuxedo? I thought Adrien told you."

"I thought he told you." Nino and Alya looked at each other for a moment, then huffed, and looked at Adrien.

"I guess it will be a surprise." Marinette appeared out of a rack, her eyes wide and absorbing every stitch of information she could. Her hands smoothed folds and brushed against the fabric, gently pulled the intricacies closer to observe. Every once in awhile, the Tailor would look over at her and appear as if he was about to tell her off, but Adrien swooped in a distracted him with more discussion. Marinette slumped down next to Alya with a huff. Nino bobbed his head along to an unheard beat.

"Too much, sweets?"

"The mind and body have their limits, no matter how much I don't want them to." Marinette leaned her head onto Alya's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"I bet. Did Adrien give you any idea as to what we might be going in?"

"Guys get tuxedos, we get dresses. I'm guessing some sort of evening gown, given the party and the locale. Nothing too flashy, since this tailor only has a day to do it. It will probably be something premade. He'll take our measurements and hem it the right way. Unless Adrien had been talking to him for a while."

"If they had been in contact for a while, why all the discussion now?"

"Who knows. I'm not okay with eavesdropping." Marinette shrugged.

"Alya is."

"Damn right I am. I don't like surprises." Alya shot up and darted through the racks, inching closer to the conversation. She picked up a few words there, something about an issue. The next aisle she entered,she heard some talk of the dresses. Alya pretended to look at a jacket around the corner.

"Okay, I get that it is difficult. I get that only the designer can truly create from the design. Drawings only give you so much. But, you have had weeks, no a month and a half to ready these."

"I know, I know, but the way that the drawings said to do different things, it is threatening to rip itself apart! Plus, it was obviously only an idea, it needed… refinement."

"So the issue is that it may create a… Wardrobe malfunction?"Adrien leaned closer, as if the word was a taboo.

"I am saying, that your curvy lady friend is much more curvy than you said. If she wears the dress, a laugh could leave her with shreds. And you skinny lady friend is much more skinny than you said. If she stretches, she might not have a dress on for very long. I did not have measurements for them, and so it will be difficult to make them fit well."

"Difficult, or impossible?" Signore Morietti paused and thought for a moment.

"Well, you need it by when tomorrow?"

"8 PM will be cutting it very close."

"If it is… 4:04 now…"

"Signore Morietti…" He hummed.

"Impossible, no. It is doable. But, with your reschedule, your descriptions being slight… underestimations… And the time constraints-"

"Add on another half. On top of the concessions."

"Half?" The Tailor deadpanned and raised his eyebrows as Adrien pursed his mouth.

"And, I will rave to my father about all the services you have done for us. That will slide at least a few projects your way. It should be plenty."

"Alright. On one condition."

"What is it?"

"The next time your father is in Italy, he has dinner with my family. And meets my daughter, Aria."

"Why specifically your daughter?"

"She is in her 30's, a lot like your father, career-minded, they might be nice." Adrien rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"My father is still married, Signore Morietti."

"Yes, yes. But… It has been years, Adrien. I'm not going to be the one to say it, but… There is a point where one must move on. Enough of that, although. Do I have your word?"

"I will try my best. You know how he is."

"Your best will have to do. I already have your measurements, so come come, girl listening in on our conversation, you will be first. Not a moment to lose."

XXXXXXXXXXX (hey thanks for sticking around for this long.)

Marinette walked out of the doors in a slight stupor. Alya and Adrien were chatting a little bit aways from the door. Adrien looked up and flashed her a warm smile. "He's a bit of a handful, isn't he?"

"I know that the stereotype for Italians is that they just don't stop talking but… It's true… It's all true…"

"I swear he tried to fondle me about three times." Alya wrapped her arms around herself.

"Most of the people he makes dresses for are either spherical or a twig. You are probably a pretty rare canvas for him."

"That doesn't make my boobs any happier. Is Nino still in there? He went last?"

"Yeah. He said ladies first, plus guys don't take as lon...g…" Something was off. Marinette instincts told her to look around. Something wasn't right. She slowly turned around. What was it? This wasn't a Marinette feeling. It was a Ladybug feeling. Was it an Akuma? No, Akumas felt more like annoyance than this. This was fear. It was her body telling her to bare her teeth or sprint away.

There. The van. That van had been there when they had arrived. It had parked when they were entering the tailor's, and it was still there. That man was still sitting in the driver's seat. His eyes were on the group. Marinette met his eyes and he quickly looked away. The van rocked slightly. Were there more people in the van than just the man?

Adrien lightly touched her shoulder and she jumped, quickly turning around. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his eyes briefly flicked between her and the van. His mouth slightly opened.

"You noticed it too?" Marinette blinked.

"The… The van? Y-yeah." Alya walked up behind him.

"What's going on?" Adrien spun and dictated to Alya.

"I'm not quite sure. Go get the car. We may be in danger. Turn on your camera and film everything until we are at the house safely. If you are approached by someone, beat the shit out of them and run. Once you get around the corner towards the car, start running. Speed is a virtue. Trust me on this." Alya's astonished face vanished with a nod. She painted herself with a smile, and walked away, turning the corner and taking off. Adrien turned back to Marinette and opened his mouth.

Marinette lightly grabbed his hand and beamed up at him. "We're trying to make them think we're not on to them, right? Let me help you with that." She nuzzled into him warmly. Protect Adrien and snuggle him. Two birds with one stone.

"Y-Yeah. They might just be paparazzi, but paparazzi would have already been taking pictures and don't care about remaining hidden. I have a feeling they have something worse planned."

"Like what?"

"I'm a well known son of a well known and wealthy father. A good ransom could be put on my head. It's not unheard of. Cutting off the heir of a family is a possibility as well. More long term, but it could benefit a great number of people. You don't get to be at the top without tossing some people behind you on the way."

"Well then, you are lucky you have me." Marinette freed her hands and cracked her knuckles. She raised them again and encircled Adrien's neck lovingly, "I won't let anyone so much as breathe in your direction." Adrien smiled down at her and wrapped his arms around her back.

"Thank you, Marinette." Nino shambled out of the doors.

"Hey I'm d-oh uh, I'll just, go back, uh, in there I guess." Adrien's and Marinette's faces lit up and they shot apart.

"Nino, come here. We're in danger." Adrien spoke with a smile. Nino sauntered over.

"What's goin on, my dudes?"

"We're being watched. Alya's getting the car. We need to get the fuck out of here. There is a van across the street and a ways back that has at least three large men in it, and they have been watching us ever since Alya and I got out here, possibly since we arrived here. They are not friendly." Nino's eyes widened.

"Oh shit. So what's the plan?"

"Until Alya gets here, act like nothing is going on. Like we haven't noticed yet." Nino nodded and took a few steps back and took a yo-yo out of his pocket, "A yo-yo? Really?"

"Dude, playing with a yo-yo is like the definition of nonchalant and carefree. When you think 'Person Who Knows They Are About To Be Murdered', do you think of a dude just chillin' with a yo-yo? No-no, ya don't." Adrien huffed and turned to Marinette.

"How did you notice it so quickly, anyway? It took me a while before I connected the dots."

' _I am Ladybug and I deal with this on a weekly basis so it is essentially a second nature' is the wrong answer, Marinette._

"Instinct, I guess? Something just felt… Off."

"Well, I'm glad I wasn't alone in it. You really-" Alya's van sped around the corner, "Nino! You're shotgun, try and lose them in the city, take some crazy route! My priority is to keep you all out of this. If we can get home without them knowing where it is, excellent!"

XXXXXXXXXXX (you all still being here means a lot to me)

"I don't like this plan."

"Nino, live a little."

"I could. I do! Right now we are in a car chase! This is not living a little! This is living a lottle!"

"Why don't you like our plan, dude? You helped make it."

"You and Mari have to jump out of a moving car into an alley."

"Yes, and? That isn't that big of a deal, Alya has to go slow around that corner slowly anyway."

"That is #1. Then #2, you two are on foot against some bad dudes. #3, Alya and I just drive for a little bit, hoping to god that we are the ones being followed, until we get to a police station. What if there is a trap? Or something? Or we get attacked because those guys do not give a damn about the police?"

"Would you rather go home and hope it's as secure as it says it is?"

"I mean, the place is a fortress."

"Yep. We'd be safe until the next time we leave. Right out the front door and into a nice, unmarked, white van."

"They probably would lie about the free candy too." Alya chirped in.

"Why do you know so much about this, Adrien?" Marinette had a pang of worry in her voice.

"My father was paranoid when I was about 12. He hired three ex-kidnappers to talk to our staff. After he paid the same three kidnappers to fake kidnap me."

"Jesus Christ, dude."

"They did actually give me candy though so it was okay."

"Nino, when is the turn?"

"Uh…. Three minutes. But, are you two sure that you will be alright? I just don't like making you so vulnerable."

Adrien and Marinette paused for a second. If it was really needed, they could just transform. It would reveal their secret, but it might save a life. Where would the decision be made?

"I think we'll be fine. I've got pepper spray in my bag and fire in my heart. We've got this."

"And I've got years of repressed memories ready to come out, so yeah I think we're good."

"You make jokes at your own expense when you are scared." Marinette's hand slid to Adrien's shoulder.

"Oh, dang, there goes my secret. I'm terrified." Adrien grinned.

"How are you so calm?"

"I'm used to pretending to be what I'm not."

"When we get home, I'm gonna look up a few therapists that I know and start sending you numbers, dude."

"Nino, where's my turn?"

"Uhh… That one. That turn. Left. Yeah. Okay. Mari, are they still on us?" Marinette turned her head to look at Adrien and shifted her eyes to see out the back window. The van came into the view around the corner with two men in the front seats.

"Yyyeeeeeuuppp."

"I mean they followed us all the way to France, I don't think they'll let up now."

"Nino, turn?"

"The right after the next right. Aaaannnddd… This one. Only a couple left. 30 seconds till drop point."

"You sound like a commando." Adrien drummed his fingers on the door handle.

"Too bad he doesn't take command in the bedroom."

"Alya, we've never slept together."

"I know, it just seemed apt."

"Accelerate, rude-babe. Rutabaga. Rude-a-bayba. God, I'm really sorry that was a terrible, like, not even a joke, but just something that sounds similar? A play on words maybe? I'm just so nervous. God, who have I become. But seriously, go fast around this turn. This is it, good luck!"

Adrien and Marinette swarmed to the left side of the car. Alya's tires squealed on the turn and the van threatened to go up on two wheels, just barely saved by Alya hitting the breaks. The door shot open and two flashes bolted out, rolling into a connecting alleyway. Nino shut the door behind them and the engine roared down the street to turn right. Adrien and Marinette shrunk down in the shadows as the white van shot by. They breathed out. The plan had worked.

A squeal echoed down the stone walls of the alley. A car had come to a screeching halt. Van doors slammed open and shouts were thrown across the street. Marinette grabbed Adrien's shoulder and gently pulled him pairs of footsteps approached the alley. A voice sounded.

"Go get 'em!"

Marinette crushed Adrien's hand in her own and sprinted down the alley. Adrien barely kept his feet beneath him. The alley split in two ahead. Marinette ground her teeth. Which way? What direction were they facing, where were they exactly, how close was the ocean, where was the nearest police station? Marinette and her trailer raced down the alley on the right. Marinette was already lost, but she wasn't about to lose.

Something caught her eye and she ground to a halt. Through a thin passageway there were glints of color. Noises bounced down the stone walls towards them. Marinette pulled a panting Adrien towards it. The fast footsteps falling behind them kept getting louder. They had to make it. There was people. Some form of safety. Marinette squeezed through the exit, her hand yanking Adrien through right after.

The open air market thrived in front of them. Tents swarmed the square, barely leaving room for the people they needed. Every available space was jammed full. It was perfect. Marinette took a quick look at Adrien. His hair was out of it's usual perfection. Sweat and running messed it to hell. She had certainly never seen him like this, so why did it look so familiar?

A shout rose up from the road they had just left. The duo ran into the crowd. A vendor tried to sell Marinette some potatoes. Adrien kindly refused a good offer on horse meat. Somehow they were 5 euros poorer and 1 jar of honey richer. Someone stuffed a pastry sample into Adrien's mouth. A loud shout erupted from the market. A stall was closing, everything was half off an already marked down price. To combat this, other stalls said the same. Heat smashed into the duo. They were crushed between people, their arms being nearly pulled out of their sockets. Marinette fought and tugged and pulled to keep her hand locked with Adrien's.

Adrien shut his eyes. He fought for his breath. Weight pushed in on him from every side, crushing him to death. He kept moving. Marinette's hand pulled him through. She was his guide, his savior, his light. He just had to put one foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right, left. They would be fine. Right, left, right, left, right. Nothing to worry about. Left, right, right… right? Adrien's eyes shot open as he hit the ground. His left foot tangled in a stall. Marinette's hand was torn away from his. Okay, maybe there was something to worry about. It might still be fine. Adrien tried to ask the large man to stop standing on his ankle, but his voice was drowned out. A heel landed on his fingers, and he shouted. Someone backed into his head, sending his face into a soft pair of hands.

Worried blue met pained green. Marinette cupped his cheeks, her eyes searching his for a second, before jumping up and shoving the large man off Adrien's ankle. Marinette grabbed Adrien and hoisted him up, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. The worry melted off her face, revealing nothing but anger and determination.

Adrien felt his face heat up a little. The exertion showing, the sweat dripping, the burning heat rolling off her shoulders. He had never seen Marinette look like this. Looking at what his other love looked like most of the time, maybe he had a little bit of a type. Pain jolted up his left leg when he tried to walk. He gasped lightly and Marinette looked up at him. Her eyes traced him down to his leg, a few of his bruised and bloody fingers clenching the fabric of his pants.

Marinette's eyes darted forward. They needed an out. Marinette felt fire rise from beneath her soles, leaking out of her eyes. The crowd seemed to part in front of her. She hurried out of the mass, darting into an alley. She set Adrien against a wall and took a look at him. His fingers were alright, nothing broken except a little bit of a nail, and a cut on the knuckles. The wrist was a beginning to swell and purple from catching his fall. Adrien shifted off his injured leg, drawing Marinette's attention to it. The ankle had the impression of a heeled boot in it. It was likely going to swell or bruise as well. He wouldn't be able to walk on it for long. It would be better to keep weight off of it.

Marinette turned back and scanned the crowd. Surely they lost them in there. Nothing out of the ordin- wait. Two, no three bald heads, on tall men. Big men. Walking in a loose formation. They were scanning the crowd as well, looking for something. Or someone. They couldn't stay here. Marinette turned back to Adrien.

"Get on my back."

"Wh-What? No! I'm fine."

"No you aren't. You were limping when we were getting out of the crowd. I give you about 25 meters before you can't walk anymore."

"My pain tolerance is higher than you think. And, I'm way too heavy for you!"

Marinette's muscles rippled as she yanked Adrien onto her back. Her hands found his thighs, and his chest hit her back. She stood up with ease, and sprinted down the alleyway, Adrien wrapping his arms around her. Windows and doors blasted past. They were homefree.

A shout went up behind them. Footsteps hammered into the pavement where they had just left. Marinette gritted her teeth and ran faster. She had to protect Adrien. She would sooner give up her own life than his. An intersection loomed in front. She slowed as she caught her bearings. Left would go to the water, right? Right would go… No where good. They weren't close enough to the house yet. They had to carry on a little more. Marinette ran straight through the crossing.

"How… Are you… Holdin… up?" Marinette huffed with her steps. Adrien yanked his head away from her, causing the two to lose balance for a moment. Marinette stumbled, but caught herself.

"Uh! I'm Good! G-Great!"

"Lean forward! I… I can't run… with you leaning back!"

"S-Sorry…" Adrien slowly leaned back forward, his face nearly brushing the back of her neck. He closed his eyes and just felt the moment. Marinette's legs pumping beneath them, her feet hitting the street rhythmically, her breathing steady and quick. Adrien took a breath and her smell washed over him. He felt kind of dirty, but, it was incredible. He smiled and hummed, letting his head droop lower. His lips lightly brushed the base of her neck.

Marinette skidded to a stop. Adrien jerked back in shock and fell off her back. He blinked a few times. Had she felt that? Marinette was staring down a dead end. The only way out was back the way they came. Back where the footsteps were barreling out from. Marinette moved in front of Adrien. She had a few seconds till a good fight. She rolled her neck and cracked her knuckles, a series of unnerving pops echoing down the walls. She stretched her wrists, pulling them and locking them. She lifted her arms and crossed them over her body. Each stretch only made Adrien stare more. She was willing to throw down her life and safety. For him.

He struggled to his feet. If his life was being defended, he might as well join the fight. He braced himself on the wall. One good leg, one good hand, one hell of a fighting spirit. He would be good for something.

"Mari, who should have the mace?"

"They wouldn't expect you to have it," She dug a small spray can out of her pocket and shoved it into Adrien's hand, "Dish a few punches out, take a hit, go down heavy, then spray when they try to grab you."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Don't worry about me, I can hold myself."

Marinette faced back down the alleyway. Her thoughts raced. Where was the line? When would she transform into Ladybug? If she did it right now, this fight would be over no problem. How important is the secret? She might be able to win without transforming though, and keep it hidden. How much was she willing to risk? Where was the line? She could trust Adrien. She knew that. He would keep her secret. She could do it.

"Same here."

Adrien closed his bad hand over the container of mace. He collected his scattered mind. Should he transform into Chat Noir? If he transformed, how much good could he do? He had been injured as Chat before, but he had never brought an injury into the transformation. What would happen? Would he be any more useful? Was it worth revealing his secret? He could trust Marinette, though. She is readying herself to save his life, why can't he do the same? He could do it.

They had to do it. Adrien and Marinette's mouths opened in unison. Transforming words were caught in their throats as a couple of young boys ran around the bend.

"There you guys are! Is your boyfriend okay, miss?" Marinette blinked. Miss? BOYFRIEND?

"Yeah! I'm alright." Adrien waved to the kids.

"Why'd you guys run away so fast? We've been following you since we saw you fall down in the crowd."

"We were being followed by some creepy guys. She wanted to get out of there." The boys stopped a few feet away from the two and looked at them.

"How strong are you, miss? Your boyfriend looks like he weighs a lot, and you ran really fast!"

"Strong enough, thankfully. I bet I would still be under that fat guy if it wasn't for her."

"He's… Not my… Boyfriend…" Marinette panted out, all the stress melting off of her. She wore a small smile. Adrien winked at the boys.

"Not yet, at least."

XXXXXXXXXXX (I played with the idea of having Adrien actually get kidnapped to get back with the "dark and getting hurt" theme/tone but i don't think i would be able to write it well enough. Oh well, I'll be getting back to it eventually.)

"Yeah, so then we played go fish on the roof of the van while they circled the police station a few times. Then they drove off so Alya and I just drove home. It was pretty nice. What happened with you two?" Adrien winced as Marinette dabbed the cut on his knuckle with alcohol.

"Uh, well we heard the van tailing us screech to a stop and people getting out, so we ran away. Then we ran into a market and then the crowd massed and th- owf… Uh, then I tripped and this fat guy stood on my ankle and someone stepped on my hand, I think someone kicked me accidently…"

"And then I pulled him up, we got out of there, but I thought some of the stalkers were following us, so I picked Adrien up and put him on my back."

"The childhood I never had was alive in that moment."

"But then we hit a dead end and got ready to throw down, square up, that sort of thing, but it was just some kids wondering if Adrien was okay."

"Wait, the van stopped?" Nino looked at Alya.

"Yeah, we heard it." Adrien repositioned the ice on his ankle.

"I don't think you did. I ran a very reddish orange light, so it might have been them trying to follow us and causing an incident or something. They never stopped."

"So we ran for no reason?"

"Hey, Mari, I enjoyed myself! Don't worry about it. Even if it was terrifying, looking back, it was okay."

"Tell that to your ankle, sweets."

"You can always kiss it better for me, Darling."

"Watch that smart mouth."

"Or what? Are you going to kiss it instead? Oh, no! My poor lip! I must have hurt it when I fell!"

Alya nudged Nino and gave him a silent look and a small grin. Nino took the hint and quickly grabbed a bag.

"So, uh, hey dudes, Alya and I were thinking of heading down to the beach for a little bit. To the west to catch the sunset, so it might be a little far to walk for Adrien."

"Yeah, we'll be back in a few hours, soooo… Don't wait up! Have fun! We packed some food so make your own!" Alya lightly elbowed Marinette's arm with a wink, dragged Nino out, and quickly shut the door behind her. Adrien and Marinette stood still for a moment.

"So uh… Are you hungry?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX (ALYA IS PRESIDENT OF THE ADRIENETTE CLUB. i am merely a small peon)

Adrien set the last glass back in the cupboard. He pushed his hair back and sighed a little, hanging up the towel he dried his hands on. A breeze flowed through from the living room, carrying just enough of a smell to turn his head. The drapes waved to either side of the window, framing Marinette in the fading sunset perfectly. Her hair settled around her shoulders, cascading down her back. Adrien noticed his smile. He closed the distance between them silently.

A jump, a squeeze, and a "boo!". The perfect prank. Over in seconds, and it gave him an in. He would be able to get close to her. Just a few more feet until- Marinette leaned back into his chest and sighed.

"This is incredible."

"Y-yeah…" Adrien surrendered to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and setting his head next to hers.

"Sorry for making you do the dishes, though."

"You cooked, I clean. It's the least I can do for my savior."

"We ran away from a car accident, probably some catholic priests, and a couple of kids."

"My heroine. Like my own, personal Ladybug."

"Don't think I didn't see you getting ready to fight too. If I'm your Ladybug, you are my personal Chat Noir."

"Well, then all this must be a lot of bad luck, hmm?"

"I disagree. I'd count myself to be extremely lucky."

"How so?"

"I just cooked a very nice meal for an incredible, not to mention incredibly handsome, young man. Now he is wrapping his arms around me while we look at a sunset." Marinette's fingers intertwined with his.

"That does sound pretty nice." Marinette hummed in response.

Adrien's thumb slowly traced her own. The wind swished lightly as the sun dove lower, causing Marinette to shiver. Adrien briefly turned his head and held her a little tighter. Waves lazily sloshed on the shoreline a ways away, adding a subtle and steady hiss to their moment. The seagulls called slower and slower as the beachgoers of the day packed up their bags.

The duo built up their confidence. Tonight was the night. Right now or never again. The scene was set. They opened their mouths in unison.

"Adri-"

"Marin-"

They both stopped and looked at each other.

"What were you going to say?"

"What were _you_ going to say?"

Adrien hesitated and cleared his throat.

"Uh… W-well… Marinette, we've gotten.. Uh, pretty close over the last few months, and uh, like, even more so the last few days… And uh… So…"

Adrien paused and stared into space, structuring his words.

"Sssoooooooo…?"

"Ahem! So, uh…" Adrien buried his face into the crook of Marinette's neck and mumbled out something.

"What?"

"Willyoubemygirlfriendplease." Marinette stiffened, then turned around in his arms and looked at him.

"Wh… That's what I was going to ask you."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Well, uh, no. Not to be my, g-girlfriend, but to be my, uh…" Marinette fumbled.

"Boyfriend?"

"Y-Yeah." They both paused.

"Wait, so is that a yes?"

"What? Oh! Yeah! Yes! Definitely . 100% down with that. I would be delighted to be your girlfriend."

"Like a house that had all it's light bulbs stolen?" Adrien cracked a grin at Marinette rolling her eyes.

"Delighted? Yes."

"Then I am exhilarated to be your boyfriend." They looked at each other for a moment.

"So, this is… Real? Official? We're dating now?"

"Yeah? I think so? I don't know, I've never done this before."

"I mean, same, but never? Adrien have you looked in a mirror? Ever? How?"

"Thank you, but you as well? How are you not taken?"

"Oh, well, I am taken. By a very handsome young man that goes by the name of Adrien Agreste."

"My, he must be incredible. He truly is a lucky man."

"He's a man who is going to be getting a kiss if he keeps this up."

"Oh no! Not a smooch! Anything but that! Have mer-" Marinette pulled him down to her lips.

XXXXXXXXXXX (see ya dudes)


End file.
